Izi ndizolemba mwachidule zomwe ndakumana nazo kuti zithandizire ena. Kuchuluka kwazidziwitso pamsonkhano uno komanso mu yourbrainonporn.com kwandithandiza kuthetsa mavuto anga ambiri kotero ndikufuna kubwezera.
Uthengawu ndi wawukulu kwambiri, chifukwa chake pitani ku "Zowonera" pazinthu zofunika kwambiri. Nayi nkhani:
- Background:
Ndine womaliza pa asanu. Sitinapite patali kwambiri, nthawi zambiri ndimakhala mnyumba yanga. Nthawi zambiri ndili pasukulu yoyambirira ndimangokhala ndi anzanga ochepa ndipo nthawi yanga yambiri ndimakhala ndimakhala ndi mchimwene wanga wamapasa (wosafanana). - Ndikukuuzani izi, kusonyeza kuti zolaula zokha sizinayambitse mavuto onse. Kwa ine, moyo wamtunduwu udandithandizanso kuti ndisamasangalale ndi atsikana. Ndili kusekondale, ndinayamba kutchuka (sindinali katswiri pamasewera ndipo kuchita masewera othamanga sikunali kofunikira kwambiri kuti ndidziwe kutchuka). Ndinkasangalala kuseka anthu ndipo ndinayamba kupeza anzanga ambiri. Nthawi zina, ndinkazindikira kuti mtsikana amandikonda. Panali choletsa china kuvomereza kukopeka ndi atsikana. Ndinkaona kuti ndinali wamng'ono kwambiri ndipo zinali zopusa kunamizira kuti ndife achikulire. Popeza kuti mchimwene wanga amandizungulira nthawi zonse zidandipangitsa kuti ndisamasinthe kusintha mawonekedwe anga (kuti sindimasamala kwambiri za atsikana) omwe amadziwika m'banja langa. Izi zidachitika chifukwa cha chikhalidwe chamabanja. Ndikukhulupirira mchimwene wanga amamvanso chimodzimodzi. Inaletsedwanso chifukwa ndinali pafupi.
- Zolaula:
Ndinayamba kukhala ndi intaneti ya DSL ndili ndi zaka 15. Izi zinali mu 2003, nthawi imeneyo ndimagwiritsa ntchito mapulogalamu ngati kazaa kutsitsa zolaula zosavomerezeka. Pamapeto pake ndinapita kukoleji. Kusukulu yasekondale sindinkasamala kwenikweni kuti sindimayanjana ndi atsikana. Ndinkaonabe kuti ndinali mwana kwambiri ndipo sindinkafunika kuda nkhawa ndi zimenezo. Izi pazokha sizoyipa konse, koma nditha kuzitengera kutali. Kenako m'malo osungira zolaula ku koleji adayamba kutchuka.
- Izi:
Sindinkamva bwino ku koleji. Sindinakonde digiri yanga ndipo ndinamva kuti ndikuthawa kwawo. Ndinaphunzirabe ndi mchimwene wanga (tinali kutenga digiri yomweyo). Nthawi zambiri ndimayang'ana zolaula. Popeza munali anthu 7 m'nyumba mwanga, ndinkangowonera makamaka usiku. Ndinkasangalalanso ndi masewera apakanema olaula. Ndinataya nthawi yambiri ndikufufuza zolaula. Ngakhale ndinali ndi anzanga, koleji inali yovuta kwa ine ndipo ndinayamba kusiya pang'ono. Ndinkakhoza maphunziro ambiri pongolemba mayeso omaliza osapitanso kumakalasi. Ndinali wofunitsitsa (ndinkafuna kukhala wopanga makanema), koma waulesi modabwitsa. Pakadali pano, ndimaganizirabe kuti pamapeto pake, anthu adzawona momwe "ndidaliri" ndipo ndidzachita bwino kenako asungwana azindikonda ndikundimenya. Sindinakhalepo wolimbikitsidwa kufunafuna mtsikana. Nthawi zonse ndimamva ngati ntchito yochulukirapo. Nditha kuganiziranso kwambiri: "Ndimakopeka naye pang'ono. Bwanji ngati atandigwera ndiyeno ine ndine munthu woyipa? Kodi anthu ena aganiza chiyani? Kodi akuganiza kuti ndi wokongola? ” Ndidakhala nthawi yayitali ndikuganiza kuti ndipeza mtsikana wangwiro ndipo zinali choncho. Makanema aku Hollywood mwina adandipangitsa kukhala ndi malingaliro olakwika pazowona.
- Kupeza zasbrainonporn.com
Chifukwa chake pamapeto pake ndidayamba kuda nkhawa kukhala namwali. Zinayamba kundigunda. Ngakhale nditakhala ndi mtsikana, mwina amakhala ndi anyamata ochepa ndipo nditha kudziona ngati wonyozeka kapena china chake. Kotero pamene ndinali ndi zaka 23/24 ndinali ndikuyamba kuda nkhawa kwambiri ndi mavuto angapo: Ndinali wozengereza, ndinkaona kuti kufunafuna atsikana "ndi ntchito yochuluka", koma ndikufuna kukhala ndi chidziwitso chogonana, ndinali wodandaula kwambiri , Sindinadziwe chomwe ndikufuna kuchita ndi moyo wanga. Ndinayamba kuwerenga mabuku ambiri othandiza. Mitundu yamabuku yolembedwa ndi Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Stephen Covey, ndi ena. Nthawi yomweyo ndidayamba kuphunzira za chibwenzi. Sindinkafuna kukhala wojambula, koma ndimamva ngati sindimadziwa kalikonse za momwe maubwenzi achikondi amagwirira ntchito. Ndinaganiza kuti ngati ndimaganiziradi kuti mtsikana ali wangwiro m'njira iliyonse, ndikadakhala wolimbikitsidwa, koma ndimadziwa kuti izi sizomveka. Sindingakhale wofunitsitsa kuchita zinthu mosalakwitsa. Ndinkakumana ndi atsikana ndikumakopana ndikuwona zomwe zimachitika. Ena mwa mabukuwa adathandizadi. Mmodzi mwa iwo anali "Masewera" a Neil Strauss. Si buku. Zili ngati lipoti, nkhani yoona yokhudza ojambula ojambula, kuphatikiza zonse zoyipa. Anali kuwerenga kosangalatsa kwa aliyense amene ndikuganiza.
Ndinayambanso kuphunzira zambiri zokhudza kuwerenga maganizo. Ndinkafuna kudzipangitsa kuti ndikhale munthu amene ndimafuna kukhala. Ndinawonera Ted Talks zambiri ndikupeza nkhani ya Gary Wilson. Ndimayesa kusachita maliseche masiku angapo koyambirira. M'chaka cha 2012. Ndinapita kuphwando loimba ndipo ndinakhala masiku 10 opanda maliseche komanso zolaula. Zinkawoneka zovuta kwambiri (pamapeto pake masiku 10 amakhala abwinobwino). Patatha miyezi ingapo ndikulimbana ndi msungwana momwe ndimayenera kukhala woopsa kwambiri ndi atsikana kuti ndisamupsompsone, ndinachita izi mopepuka. Tinafika. Inali nthawi yoyamba kumpsompsona mtsikana. Patangopita masiku ochepa ndinayamba kuwerenga zambiri zakuletsa zolaula, yourbrainonporn.com, reddit, ndi zina zambiri. Kuti mungodziwa kuti ndinkakhumudwa bwanji ndi atsikana kale: ndili ndi 19 mtsikana anali kuvina ndi ine ku koleji phwando. Ndinatchuka (ngakhale ndinali wamanyazi kwambiri ku koleji), chifukwa monga oyamba kumene ndimachita nawo zosangalatsa zomwe ndimayenera kuchita ndikupanga zinthu zopusa. Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti ndinali woseketsa, chifukwa chake ndidakhala m'modzi mwaophunzira watsopano. Komabe ndimakonda lingaliro loti adakopeka ndi ine (monga wopitilira muyeso, sindinali wotsimikiza ngati zinali choncho). Iye anali m'modzi mwa atsikana ochepetsetsa kwambiri mozungulira. Ndinkaganiza mozama kwambiri kotero kuti atandikumbatira ndikuyimirira zala zake (mwachidziwikire kuti andipsompsone) ndinaganiza "hmm kukumbatirana kwachilendo. akufuna chiyani?) Gawo lina la ine limadziwa koma ndimadzimva kuti sindimatha kuganiza bwino. Ndinazindikira zomwe zimachitika m'mawa nditadzuka kunyumba.
Komabe, ndinaphunzira za HOCD. Ndinkatha kuonera zolaula za akazi gay nthawi yochulukirapo. Nthawi zina ndimawoneranso zolaula za nyama.
Ndinayambanso kuyesa kuti ndiwone kutalika komwe ndingapite popanda zolaula. Masabata a 3 nditayesa koyamba kuchita ndi mtsikana ku kilabu. Ndinali woledzera, sanali wokongola (ndiye ndinamuwona pa facebook, ndipo sanali wowoneka bwino konse), koma… ndinali wokondwa. Ndinali wokondwa kuti ndikhoza kuchita. Kuti zidachitika. China chake chomwe chimayenera kukhala chabwinobwino koma sichinali kwa ine.
Mwanjira ina ndinkafuna kuti ndikhale wofunitsitsa kutsata atsikana omwe sanali angwiro. Ndinkafuna kusamala. Osachita manyazi, ndi zina zambiri.
Patapita miyezi ingapo, anzanga ena adandifunsa ngati ndikufuna kupita nawo paulendo wopita ku chilumba cha Spain. Ndinayankha. Ndimangofuna kupititsa patsogolo luso langa la "kukopana", kukhala womasuka ndi atsikana ndikuyembekeza kuti nditaya unamwali wanga ndikupitilira nawo m'malo moyika chinthu chonsecho pansi. Ndataya unamwali wanga (ndikupsompsona atsikana ena awiri) paulendowu pafupifupi milungu isanu ndi umodzi ndisanabadwe zaka 6.
Ndizoseketsa kuti, popeza ndimawoneka wabwinobwino ndipo nthawi zina ndimatchuka, anzanga ambiri angadabwe kudziwa kuti ndinali namwali panthawiyo.
Komabe, ndimakhala womasuka komanso wolumikizana ndi atsikana onse. Miyezi ingapo yapitayo ndinali pafupi kwambiri ndi mtsikana. Tinali abwenzi ndi zabwino, koma pafupifupi chibwenzi ndi bwenzi. Nthawi zonse ndimamuuza kuti sindimavutika ndi lingaliro loti ndikhale pachibwenzi, popeza sindinazolowere. Zinali zachilendo kwa ine ndipo ndimakumbukirabe. Ndinkadziwa mavuto anga, koma kungodziwa sikokwanira. Tinakhala okwatirana kwakanthawi, koma sizinakhalitse. Amafuna wina kupezeka ndipo sindinathe kupirira. Chifukwa chake ndinali wosakhwima kwambiri. Zomwe sizachilendo, potengera momwe ndikuganizira.
- Ndikumva bwanji tsopano:
Panopa ndili bwino. Sindikumva kukhumudwitsidwa chifukwa chosadziwa zambiri ndipo ndikumva bwino kwambiri ndikakhala ndi bwenzi. Sindikumva kuti ndikufunika kukhala nayo, koma ndili bwino ndikakhala vuto.
Zochitika:
Tsopano, ine ndimakonda sayansi. Ndipo ndinasangalala kuphunzira za maphunziro asayansi zokhudzana ndi zonsezi. Chinthu chimodzi chomwe ndimafuna kuphunzira ndikuti ngati kuseweretsa maliseche pakokha kulinso koyipa, kuyenera kukhala kuseweretsa maliseche mpaka zolaula. M'miyezi ingapo iyi ndidakumana ndi zochitika zosiyanasiyana pamene ndimaphunzira.
- Choyamba, ndisanayese kuletsa, ndimachita maliseche 2 mpaka 4 patsiku. Makamaka ku hetero zolaula, koma nthawi zina amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso osagonana. Nthawi zina ndimachita zachiwerewere zokhudzana ndi kukondoweza. Kuganizira zogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Chinthu ndikuti "ndimakopeka" kwambiri ndi ziwalo zogonana komanso malowedwe. Sindinkakopeka ndi amuna, koma ndimakopeka ndikumanga ma penise.
- Kuyesa koyamba (masabata a 3) kunali kosavuta kuposa momwe ndimaganizira, ngakhale ndimakonda kupita pang'ono. Ndinalimbikitsidwa kwambiri chifukwa ndinkaona kuti izi zitha kuthetsa mavuto anga akulu. Ndinayamba kufuna kupitanso pamenepo ndipo ndimakhala wokonzeka kukumana ndi atsikana. Pambuyo poyesera koyamba izi, zidayamba kukhala zovuta kuti zikhale nthawi yayitali popanda PMO.
- Pambuyo pake sindimachita maliseche, komabe ndimaonera zolaula nthawi zina. Osati maliseche ndi omwe amamva ngati amandiyendetsa. Ndinali ndi zoyendetsa zambiri komanso zolimbikitsira atsikana, koma nthawi zina ndimakhala ndi malingaliro ambiri. Ngakhale mutu. Ndinkakhalanso ndi chilakolako chofuna kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ngakhale kuti sindinathe kuchita chilichonse kuti ndiyambe. Sindinali wachibadwa. Ndinazindikira kuti mwa njira ina ubongo wanga umangofuna kumasulidwa. Ndi chilichonse. Kwa kanthawi ndinaphunzira za kuyenda kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso zina zotere.
- Kenako ndinayamba kuletsa PMO. Ndinkatha milungu iwiri. Pambuyo pake ndimatha kuyambiranso kenako ndikungoyang'ana zolaula. Ndidakhala nthawi yayitali mumizungulirayi. Ngakhale sindinayime konse, kuti ndimayang'ana zolaula ndikuchita maliseche pafupipafupi kuposa kale (2-2 nthawi) zinali ndi maubwino ambiri, chifukwa chake moyo wanga panthawiyi unali wabwino kwambiri. Ndinali kale ndi atsikana angapo ndikupsompsona mtsikana sizinali zochokera kudziko lina.
- Sindinasiye kuphunzira za psychology. Pambuyo pake ndinayamba kusinkhasinkha, osasiya zolaula makamaka. Ndinkafuna kuti ndikhale wophunzitsidwa bwino (ndipatseni mphamvu ku preortal cortex yanga ndikuchepetsa zochitika za amygdala). Ndinazichita kuti ndikhale wolimbikitsidwa kugwira ntchito komanso kuti ndizichita bwino. Ndipo zinagwira ntchito. Ndinayamba "kuwona" zomwe zinali zofunika ndikuchita zomwe pansi pamtima ndimafuna kuchita. Panali kukonzanso mawonekedwe, koma ndinali wokondwa kwambiri ndi zotsatirazo. Kusayang'ana zolaula kunakhalanso kosavuta. Ndidawerenga mabuku angapo pankhaniyi. Buku losavuta kuwerenga lomwe ndimalimbikitsa kuti "Fufuzani mkati mwanu" lolembedwa ndi Chade Meng-Tan - ndichidule cha zomwe kusinkhasinkha kuli komanso momwe zimagwirira ntchito. Zakhazikitsidwa pa projekiti ya google pakukweza luntha lamaganizidwe lomwe lidachita bwino kwambiri.
- Nditapanga mwezi umodzi popanda kumumvera kapena zolaula (chifukwa chosinkhasinkha). Ndidaloleza kuseweretsa maliseche popanda zolaula. Ndinkawona kuti kusaonerera maliseche kunali kuyamba kuwononga. Ndimakhala ndi chidwi chofuna kumasulidwa ndipo ndimavomereza kukumana ndi chilichonse chogonana ngati chinthu choti ndiyembekezere kungopeza. Ndidayamba kulola kudziseweretsa maliseche ngati kumverera kwachibadwa. Izi zinathandiza.
- Ndinayesanso kuseweretsa maliseche posachedwa (patatha miyezi ingapo wopanda zolaula), kuti ndiphunzire. Apanso ndimamva kuti nthawi ndikuwonongeka ndipo ndimawona kuti zolaula zimangowonjezera moyo wanga. Mgwirizanowu ndiwodziwikiratu. Ndingoyimilanso.
- Pomalizira, panthawi yogonana, pamene ndinali ndi maliseche osapitirira masiku angapo ndisanamvepo zovuta. Chimodzi mwazinthu zitha kukhala nkhawa kukhala ndi bwenzi latsopano kwanthawi yoyamba, koma nditakhala kuti sindinawone zolaula sabata limodzi sindingakhale ndi mavuto.
Mwachidule, ndine munthu wabwinobwino yemwe akanakhala ndi zibwenzi, koma sakanatha. Zinali zachilendo, sindinakhale ndi nkhawa yapa chikhalidwe ndipo palibe cholakwika ndi ine. Ndimangoganiza mopitilira muyeso ndipo pamapeto pake zikhala ntchito yochulukirapo. Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti ndidzakhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri. M'malo mwake sindinapsompsone msungwana mpaka milungu ingapo ndisanachitike tsiku langa lobadwa la 25th. Chimodzi mwa izo chinali kuleredwa kwanga ndipo zambiri zinali zolaula. Tsopano ndikumva ngati wabwinobwino. Kusinkhasinkha ndi komwe pamapeto pake kunandithandiza kusiya zolaula kwa milungu ingapo. Ndimavomerezanso lingaliro lodziseweretsa maliseche nthawi zina popanda zolaula.
Ndikudziwa kuti iyi inali positi yayikulu. Ndinkangofuna kulemba zidziwitso zilizonse zomwe ndimaganiza kuti zingakhale zothandiza kwa munthu yemwe angakhale atakhala ndi zomwezi. Ndiyenera kuthokoza tsambali komanso Gary ndi Marnia chifukwa chogwira ntchito yabwino yothandiza anthu ambiri omwe analibe ndalama zophunzirira zomwe zimawachitikira.
Monga ndidanenera kale, zolaula sizomwe zimayambitsa mavuto anga onse, ndikusiya zolaula sikungathetse mavuto anga onse. Koma zolaula zinasokoneza kwambiri moyo wanga, ndipo kuyambira pomwe ndidayamba kuyesa kusiya kuziwonera, moyo wanga udasintha kwambiri.
Zikomo nonse.
by fe1
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