Ndinachokera ku 13 mpaka 25 pafupifupi nthawi 3-4 pa sabata, nthawi zonse ndi zolaula, choncho zanga ndi ntchito yayitali .. sindinakhalepo ndi bwenzi lenileni, ndipo inde akadali namwali. Ndili ndi zaka 22 ndidapezeka kuti ndili ndi vuto laumunthu la schizotypal. Nkhawa yanga inali pamwamba pa malingaliro aliwonse, mtima wanga unayamba ndi kugunda.
Ndipo manja anga nthawi zonse amakhala akugwedezeka pomwe malingaliro amatuluka. Kulankhula ndi alendo nthawi zonse kumandiwopsa ndipo ine ndimakhala zaka zonsezi ndikungomuwona ndikukhala, ku catharsis.
Ndinkakana atsikana ambiri chifukwa cha nkhawa ndipo atataya chidwi ndi ine, pazifukwa zina zachilendo, ndimakhala bwino nthawi zonse ndipo mawu amandiuza kuti: "Mukuwona? Samakukondani kwenikweni. Ndinu m'modzi chabe kwa ena, muyenera kukhala osangalala kuti mwamukana ". Zonsezi mpaka pafupifupi miyezi 3 yapitayo ..
Kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga ndimakonda mtsikana. Anali wokongola kwambiri, amandimwetulira nthawi zonse ndipo amayesetsa kwa miyezi kuti andimvetse kuti amandikonda .. koma ndinali munthu amene ndakhala ndimakhala naye zaka 12 .. palibe amene angasinthe mwachangu, ngakhale ndimamva bwanji Makhalidwe anga anali (mwatsoka) omwewo. Chifukwa chake miyezi isanu yasoweka ...
Ndikubetcha akuganiza kuti sindili ndi chidwi ndikungopita. Nditatayika ndimamvetsetsa, ngati mphezi, kuti ndimusowa kwambiri kuposa chilichonse, Ndiye msungwana yemwe mumamupeza kamodzi m'moyo. Ndinalira masiku ambiri .. Ndinaganizira za moyo wanga wonse, zonyenga zanga, mantha anga, kulephera kwathu kusukulu .. Ndinatsimikiza kuti njira yokhayo yotulukiramo imfa ndi chifukwa chomwe sindinawone kuwala mumdima.
Koma chifukwa cha TEDx komanso tsamba lino, ndinamvetsetsa lomwe linali vuto langa .. Nthawi zonse ndimakhala ndikunyadira ndekha chifukwa sindinayambe ndagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena mowa ndipo tsopano ndazindikira kuti ndinali ngati omwe ndimawanyoza nthawi zonse. Chifukwa chake ndidayamba kukhala ndi mkwiyo pokana kuseketsa maliseche, ndimadzinenera kuti ndiye gwero la mavuto anga onse..ndichifukwa chake zidali zosavuta kwa ine kusiya kusefa.
Miyezi 2 tsopano. Lero ndidagwera pamtima ngati kuti "idaphimbidwa" ndi mtundu wina wa chitetezo kotero sindilinso ndikumenya, ngakhale china chake chandiwopsa kapena ndikungokondwa. Manja anga nthawi zina amagwedezabe lil pena sindingathe kuwongolera momwe ndikumvera, ndikuganiza zimafunikira nthawi (ndi chidziwitso).
Koma chochititsa chidwi kwambiri ndikuti tsopano ndikufuna kukhudzana "ndi" amenewo .. Ndikuwonetsa zakukhosi kwanga. Ndimaseka kwambiri. Ndimatha kukhala patebulo ndikukambirana popanda kuchita manyazi. Nditha kuyenda bwino (eya pazifukwa zomwezo sindimatha kuyenda m'njira yoyenera), mapazi anga ayima ngati miyala pansi.
Ndimatha kuyankhula ndi anthu osawadziwa m'maso ndikumakhala wowotcha kapena wamiseche popanda manyazi pazifukwa zina zopanda pake. Ndikamalankhula ndi atsikana ndimakhala ngati nditha kuwapsompsona kapena (ngati afunsa) kugonana. Ndimaganizira kwambiri ndi mbolo komanso zochepa ndi Brain (ndipo ndimazikonda).
Kwa nthawi yoyamba m'moyo wanga ndimawona kuwala. Kwa nthawi yoyamba ndimakhulupirira kena kake: "Sindidzabweranso."
Zikomo chikondi changa chotayika. Nthawi zina kuti ndimve bwino ndimaganiza kuti ndiwe mngelo chabe kuti adzathandize munthu wosauka uyu. Ndimakukondani.
LINK - Momwe ndidayimilira mosavuta patatha zaka 12. Nkhani yanga yachidule.
by TheEye33
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