Ndili pafupi masiku 150 mkati ndipo sindikukhulupirira momwe moyo wanga wasinthira chaka chatha. Ichi chakhala chinthu chovuta kwambiri chomwe ndidachitapo, koma zakhala zofunikira kwambiri. Moyo wanga wasintha kukhala wabwinoko m'njira zambiri, mwakuti nthawi zina sindimakhulupirira kuti ndazichita.
Nayi nkhani yanga…
Chaka chimodzi kapena chapitacho ndinali wokhumudwa, wokwiya, wopanda chidwi, ndinkanyansidwa ndekha, kudzidalira kwanga ndikudzidalira kunali pamiyala ndipo sindinathe kuwona njira iliyonse. Ndinali ndi ntchito yolemetsa, ndinalibe bwenzi, ndinali kumasula anzanga ndipo moyo wanga unali m'ngalande. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito pmo ngati ndodo yodzithandizira ndekha ndikuchotsa zowawa koma sindinazindikire kuti ndichomwe chimapangitsa.
Kuledzera kwanga kwa pmo kunali kosalamulirika, ndinali kuseweretsa maliseche mochuluka kwa makanema onyansa kwambiri. Zinthu zomwe zimapangitsa khungu langa kukwawa ngakhale kulingalira za tsopano. Ndipo sindinathe kudziletsa. Zomwe ndimasankha zimayamba kufooka ndipo sindinasangalale nazo. Kudzidalira kwanga kudatsika.
Ndinkadziwa kuti china chake chimayenera kusintha nditakhala ndi mtsikana wotentha kwambiri koma sindinathe kukhala ndi erection. Sindidzaiwala nkhope yake yokhumudwa komanso manyazi omwe ndinali nawo. Ndinkadziwa kuti ndimakopeka naye koma sindimamvetsa chifukwa chomwe sindimatha kulimba… Izi zidasokoneza mutu wanga. Ndinali kukayikira za kugonana kwanga ndi ukhondo wanga. Nditangoyenda ndi ED, ndidakumana ndi nkhani yotchuka ya Gary Wilson TED. Vidiyo imodzi iyi idapulumutsa moyo wanga, kuyambira pamenepo ndidapeza nofap ndipo nditawerenga nkhani zopambana ndidaganiza zopititsa patsogolo.
Poyambirira ndidalephera nthawi zambiri, nthawi iliyonse ndikalephera ndimadzinyamula ndikuyambiranso. Kubwezeretsanso kauntala yanga ndikumvutikabe m'matumbo komwe kumakhalapo. Ndidayenera kukhazikitsanso baji ija nthawi zambiri koma nthawi iliyonse yomwe ndimachita inali yocheperako pang'ono kuposa nthawi yomaliza. Sabata idasandulika mwezi, kenako miyezi iwiri, kenako masiku 90… Pambuyo pake zinali zosavuta. Osataya mtima wekha, pitilizani. Simungapange 90 pakuyesa kwanu koyamba koma ingoyesani. M'kupita kwanthawi mudzasweka. Ndipo ndizo zomwe ndinachita. Ndinkadziwa kale zomwe zingachitike ndikadzipereka, chifukwa chake ndidaganiza zowona zomwe zingachitike ndikapanda kutero.
Ndipo izi ndi zomwe zasintha m'moyo wanga chaka chatha ...
- Chidaliro komanso kutsimikiza kwafalikira. Ndimatha kuwona anthu akufa m'maso ndikumva bwino kuchita. Nditha kulankhula ndi aliyense za chilichonse ndikumva bwino kuchita.
- Magulu amagetsi ali padenga, ndimakhala wogalamuka komanso maso. Ubongo wanga umamva bwino.
- Sindingathe kumwetulira tsiku lonse tsiku lililonse, ndipo sindinamvepo bwino zaka zambiri.
- Maso anga amawoneka amoyo, opanda mabwalo amdima kapena zotupa zameso. Mtundu mwa iwo ukukulirakulira tsiku lililonse, ayamba kuwoneka ngati maso anga owala amtambo omwe ndinali nawo ngati mwana
- Khungu langa lasintha nsagwada yanga ikuwoneka bwino kwambiri komanso nkhope ikuwoneka bwino
- Ziphuphu zanga zikuwala, ndipo khungu langa limawoneka lathanzi ndipo masaya anga amakhala otupa nthawi zonse
- Tsopano ndimagwirira ntchito bungwe lalikulu lazopezera ndalama, ndipo ndili ndi miyezi 4 ndikuphunzitsidwa. Ndidayenera kuyesedwa maulendo anayi kuti ndipeze izi. China chake chomwe sindikadatha kuchita pomwe Pmo anali m'moyo wanga. Ndinalinso m'modzi mwa anthu 4 oti ndichite izi mwa anthu pafupifupi 5. Ndinali ndikugwira ntchito nthawi yayitali maola 200 pa sabata chifukwa ndimaganiza kuti sindingagwire ntchito yanthawi zonse.
- Ndapanga abwenzi ambiri m'miyezi 6 yapitayi, anthu omwe akufuna kukhala m'moyo wanga ndikupangitsa kuti ndizimva bwino. Ndimakopa anthu abwino pamoyo wanga ndipo mnyamatayu amamva bwino. Moyo wanga wokhala pagulu ndiwodabwitsa, ndilibe nthawi yosewera masewera apakanema kapena kuwonera TV chifukwa nthawi zonse ndimachita china chake ndi anthu omwe amafuna kucheza nane.
- Ndakumana ndi msungwana wamaloto anga, yemwe ndidapanga naye chikondi usiku watha ndikuphwanya unamwali wanga ndi (Ndine 26 btw) kugonana sikunakhulupirire ndipo akufuna zina. Koma koposa pamenepo amandifuna ndikukhala ndi ine. Sindingathe kufotokoza momwe izi zilili zodabwitsa. Ndikumva kuti ndalumikizidwa naye, ndipo ndimakonda kuyang'ana m'maso ake okongola. Sadziwa kuti ndinali ndi chizolowezi chomwa mowa, koma nthawi zonse amafotokoza momwe ndimasiyanirana ndi anyamata omwe adakhala nawo. Sindine wosiyana, ndine yemwe ndidabadwira. Ndine wabwinobwino.
- Sindinakhalepo wokondwa komanso woganizira kwambiri moyo wanga. Ndikutsika mankhwala anga (anti-nkhawa) ndikuyembekeza kuyambiranso kudziletsa
- Moyo ndiwodabwitsa tsopano, chilichonse chokhudza moyo ndichabwino. Sindinasangalalepo ndi tinthu tating'ono m'moyo m'mbuyomu. Kwambiri wina adati pmo imakupangitsa kukhala wakhungu, chabwino ndabwera kuti ndithandizire ndemanga iyi chifukwa imatero. Mukachigwedeza, mumayamba kuyamikira moyo ndi momwe zimakhalira zabwino.
Pomaliza, tsopano ndikulakalakanso zolaula. Sindikulakalaka kuyiyang'ananso, mukadutsa zolakalaka ndikudutsa pansi mumayamba kutuluka mumdima. Ingodzipangirani nokha kuti musadzapitenso kumbuyo, sindiyenera kubwerera kwa munthu amene ndinali. Izi ndizomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito kupitiliza patsogolo ndipo ndikudzipereka kwathunthu kukwaniritsa masiku ena 150 🙂
Chonde dzichitireni zabwino ndikupitilirani. Ingopitirirani. Moyo umakhala bwino kwambiri.
LINK - Kukonzanso
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