Ndinavutika ndi HOCD kwa zaka khumi za moyo wanga. Zinayamba ndili ndi zaka 17 (munali mu 2001 Google isanakupatseni chilichonse pa mbale ya siliva). Popeza sindinadziwe kuti chinali chiyani, ndinasokonezeka msanga ndikufika nthawi yosiyana kwambiri m'moyo wanga. Nditatha zaka 8 ndikufufuza zopweteketsa mtima ndidazindikira kuti sindinali gay, koma kuti ndinali pamafunso ofunsa mafunso ndikuyesera pachabe kuti ndidziwe komwe ndikufuna.
Nditazindikira kuti hocd idanditengera miyezi ingapo kuvomereza lingaliro loti mwina ndikofotokozera zamakhalidwe anga. Ndidapita kuchipatala cha cbt ndipo kudzera m'malankhulidwe ambiri ndikuthandizira kuchokera kubanja langa ndidatulukira. Tsopano kuyang'ana mmbuyo ndikuwonekeratu kuti ine nkhani yanga inali 100% hocd. Ngakhale ndimayeserera zolaula ndili mwana, zomwe zidapangitsa kuti ndizigonana, sindingatchule kuti zolaula, koma mosakayikira zolaula ndizomwe ndimafunsa poyambira.
Kufikira patsogolo kwa chaka chatha ndi ine tinali kuona kuti ngakhale kuti mafilimu anga anali atadayika kuti ndinali ndikumvetsetsa bwino kwadzidzidzi (zinalidi zovulaza, zomwe zinali zodabwitsa chifukwa ndinkatha kunena / kuchita chilichonse chomwe ndinkafuna pazomwe anthu amachitira popanda kusanthula chifukwa cha zizindikiro za kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha) ndipo ndinali ndi nkhawa komanso kudzikuza komwe kunkachitika pa moyo wanga tsiku ndi tsiku.
Ndipamene ndidazindikira kuti pomwe hocd inali mphamvu yayikulu, gulu la zovuta zina za ocd komanso zowonetsa nkhawa zidakhazikika kwakanthawi komwe sindinazindikire. Ndidayesera kudzipatula zizindikilo zambiri mwakudzilankhulira komanso kulingalira / cbt, koma zinali zovuta kufotokozera motero zinali zovuta kulimbana nazo.
Tsopano, apa ndi pomwe nkhani yayitali ija imakhala yosangalatsa: pazaka zonse za 10, mosalephera, ndimakhala ndikulemera 1-3 nthawi patsiku. Sindinawonepo kukhala vuto, makamaka nditakhala ndi hocd epiphany pomwe ndidasiya kudzikakamiza kuti ndiganizire za ma dudes chifukwa "amafanana" ndi "zowona". M'malo mwake ndinayamba kulakalaka atsikana ndikuyang'ana zolaula "zowongoka" chifukwa ndimatha kukhala opanda mawu m'mutu mwanga kundiuza kuti sindinali wolondola. Ndinaganiza kuti izi zilibe vuto lililonse chifukwa ndinali ndi thanzi labwino m'maganizo. Ndidakula ndikukula, ndikupitilizabe kuganiza kuti ndadutsa zomwe ndidakumana nazo m'mbuyomu.
Komabe nkhawa yaikulu inalipobe.
Nthawi yonse yomwe ndimadziwa kuti panali liwu lamtendere likundiuza kuti "izi sizolondola, sizosangalatsa ngakhale, ndizodzizunza, mulibe ulamuliro" ndi zina zambiri. Koma monga ndikudziwa kuti nonse mukudziwa, chikumbumtima chanu chitha khalani osavuta kuthana ndi vuto lakumwa. Potsirizira pake, nditakhumudwitsa kwambiri DE ndi mtsikana, ndinafika poti ndinasweka ndipo ndinaganiza zopita ku NoFap.
Ndipamene maulamuliro apamwamba adalowamo.
Ndikudziwa kuti aliyense amafotokoza zotsatira zake mosiyanasiyana, koma kuwonjezera pakukula kwakudzidalira, chiyembekezo chabwino komanso kukoka kwa amayi, ndidakhala ndi mikhalidwe yambiri yomwe idawonetsa kuti nkhawa yanga idachepa KWAMBIRI. Ndakhala 100x wokonda kucheza kwambiri komanso ochezeka, sindikhala ndi mantha ochepa olephera, ndimayatsa pang'ono (kuganiza zakale / zapano), ndimayang'ana kwambiri ndikumveka bwino, ubongo wa ubongo udatsika ndi 70%, ndili wolimbikitsidwa, ndimadya bwino, ndimadya ZAMBIRI , Ndimakhumba kucheza ndi anthu m'malo mobisalira, ndipo ndimayang'anira zochitika zomwe sizikundigwira ntchito monga munthu.
Kwenikweni, ndine munthu yemwe ndinali ndi zaka 17, wochenjera kwambiri, wotsimikiza mtima, komanso wokhoza kuthana ndi CHINTHU chilichonse chomwe chimandiponyera ine.
TL; DR: Sindinaganize kuti PMO ikundiyambitsa nkhawa mpaka nditalowa nawo NoFap. Tsopano, kutengera kusintha komwe ndakumanako, ndikudziwa motsimikiza kuti ndiwomwe adathandizira kwambiri.
BY - zaquells
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