Ndidagwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuyambira XXUMX mpaka zaka 14. Imeneyi ndi zaka za 27 ndikuwonera kwambiri. Zomwe zimayambira osalakwa mokwanira ndili ndi zaka 13 nditapeza zosowa za abambo anga a Playboy, zidasanduka zosokoneza makanema apa Internet ndi ma DVD omwe adatenga moyo wanga wonse. Chifukwa chazolowera zolaula, nthawi zingapo m'moyo mwanga, ndinali ndimavuto oyipa ndi Porn-Anayambitsa ED komanso nkhawa zokhudzana ndi kugonana. Ku 12 ndidakumana ndi PIED yofatsa, ndipo mzaka makumi awiri zidayipa kwambiri ndinali wokhumudwa nthawi zambiri.
Zomwe zimasinthira zinali pamene ndinali 24 Zinali miyezi yowerengeka kuyambira nditamuwona bwenzi langa. Ndidamukonda kwambiri ndipo ndidamupeza wokongola kwambiri. Panthawiyo, anali msungwana wangwiro kwa ine - wokonda, wopusa, wokongola, woseketsa komanso wapamwamba. Koma nditamuwona patatha miyezi ya 4 titasiyana, pamene timavula zovala zathu kuti tipeze nthawi yotaika, sindimatha kupanga lingaliro. Chikuchitika ndi chiyani? Malingaliro anga anathamanga. Vuto langa ndi chiyani mbolo yanga? Chifukwa chiyani ndilibe mpangidwe? Ali wokongola modabwitsa, koma mwakuthupi palibe chomwe chinkandichitikira. Nthawi zingapo m'mbuyomu ndidakumana ndi ED nthawi ndi nthawi, koma izi zidali zolephereka. Palibe chochita. Sindinaziyike palimodzi panthawiyo, koma chinali chifukwa chakuti nditapita kwa iye kwa miyezi ya 4, ndimagwiritsa ntchito zolaula tsiku lililonse - nthawi zina kawiri patsiku. Ndinapanganso "kukulira" zomwe zimakulitsa vutoli.
Zinanditengera pafupifupi miyezi iwiri kuti ndiyambenso kugona naye, ndipo ndinadandaula kwambiri.
Ubalewo utatha, ndinakumana ndi zovuta za ma sporadic ED ndi atsikana ena, makamaka koyamba kangapo ndi mtsikana watsopano - nthawi zina mpaka pomwe zimawononga ubalewo. Zinandipweteka.
Ndinapita kukaonana ndi dotolo, wothandizirana zakugonana, ngakhale wokonda kungoganiza kuti ayesetse kukonza mavuto anga. Poyamba sindinadziwe kuti vutoli linali zolaula komanso "kusintha", koma nditazindikira zolemba za pa intaneti zokhudzana ndi zolaula ndi ED, ndinadziwa zomwe ndiyenera kuchita: kusiya zolaula mpaka kalekale. Koma kudziwa zoyenera kuchita ndikuzichita ndi zinthu ziwiri zosiyana. Ndalimbana ndi zovuta zambiri m'moyo wanga - kuthana ndi manyazi chifukwa cholowa nawo mpikisano wamapulogalamu ndikulowetsa mpikisano wolankhula; kutaya mapaundi a 50 posintha zakudya zanga ndikuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi - koma ichi chinali chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri zomwe ndidachitapo. Ndinalephera nthawi zambiri ndisanakwanitse kusiya zolaula. Ndinkawerenga tsamba lililonse pogwiritsa ntchito china chilichonse chothandiza, ndimawerenga nkhani za ogwiritsa ntchito, ndikugula mabuku pa psychology, NLP, ndikusintha zizolowezi. Zinanditengera chaka chopitilira nkhondo yeniyeni, yoona - masiku a 20, masiku a 50, masiku a 100 kenako kubwerera ku zero - ndisanapeze zomwe zidandigwira ntchito.
Tsopano ndili ndi zaka 30 ndipo ndakhala opanda zolaula kwa zaka zopitilira 2. Kuyambira kuthana ndi vuto langa lolaula, ndabwezeretsa libido yomwe ndinali nayo kale ndipo tsopano ndili ndi moyo wabwino kwambiri wogonana. Sindimakhalanso ndi nkhawa zogonana ndipo sindimadaliranso kwambiri m'chipinda cham'mbuyomu kuposa kale. Ndikufuna kuti mudziwe, chifukwa mukakhala kuti mukusiyana ndi kukhumudwa ndikufunika kusiya, ndikofunikira kudziwa kuti pali kuwala kumapeto kwa ngalandeyo.
Zoposa chaka chimodzi chapitacho, m'mene ndimayamba kuyankhula momasuka ndi abwenzi anzanga za momwe kusiya zolaula kutembenukirana ndi moyo wanga wogonana, amandiuza za mavuto awo - mavuto omwewo Ndinali nditakumana ndi zaka zingapo zapitazo! Chifukwa chake, ndidayamba kupereka upangiri ndipo makamaka ndikuyendetsa gulu lothandizira. Kwa miyezi ingapo, ndidawathandiza kuthana ndi zizolowezi zawo ndikuyambiranso zachilengedwe, powawonetsa zomwe ndidachita. Ndidawapatsa pulogalamu yapa gawo-yomwe yomwe ndimakonda kuthana ndi vuto lomwe ndimakonda. Ndipo abwenzi anga adayamba kunena zinthu ngati “bambo, payenera kukhala anthu ambiri kunja kwa mavutowa - ndipo izi zizikulipa kwambiri chifukwa zolaula za pa intaneti zikukula bwino komanso zikuchulukirachulukira. Brian, inu amafunika kuthandiza anyamata awa. ”
Ndidayamba tsambali kuthandiza anthu ngati ine. Zinanditengera zaka zoyeserera komanso zolakwika kuti ndidziwe zomwe zimapangitsa kusiya zolaula. Ndalankhula ndi mazana a amuna ena pa intaneti za zomwe adakumana nazo atasiya zolaula ndikuyambiranso moyo wawo wogonana, ndipo ndikufuna kugawana zidziwitso.
lolemba ndi Brian
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