[Kutha kwa sabata 4] Nditakhala ndi chidziwitso chokwanira chokhudzana ndi zolaula, ndidangodumphadumpha kuti ndiyambe kuyambiranso - ndidatero, komabe, ndaganiza zopita izi ndi malingaliro otsatirawa omwe ndakhala ndikuyesera kudzikumbutsa:
1. Iyenera kukhala njira yopanda mzere, yovuta
-Kuwerenga zolemba za anthu ena ndikudziwa kuti pakhala njira yovuta kutsogolo kwandilola kuti ndizipuma ndikamverera kuti ndine wosasangalala.
2. Zikhala zopindulitsa kwambiri kuposa momwe ndingaganizire
-Ndakhala wokonda PMO kwazaka zopitilira 20. Ndine wotsimikiza kuti zosankha zomwe ndidapanga komanso momwe ndimamvera zidakhudzidwa ndi matendawa. Zikhala zosangalatsa kukumana ndi munthu amene ndili.
3. Miyezi ingapo ikubwerayi idzakhala "nthawi yanga yosungira"
-Ona kuposa kupewa PMO ndikukhala athanzi, khalani pansi kwakanthawi ndikungomvera. Sindingathe kufulumizitsa ntchitoyi. Ingololani kuti izi zichitike. Popeza kuti chizolowezicho chidayamba ndikamatha msinkhu, ndimayang'ana izi ngati kubadwanso kwanga.
CHOLINGA / KUSANGALIRA
Mwamtheradi wopanda PMO wamasiku a 140. (mpaka kumayambiriro kwa Ogasiti)
Ngakhale ndikakumana ndi wina yemwe ndigone naye panthawiyi, ndiyenera kudikirira mpaka tsiku la 140. Ngati samamvetsa, zoipa.
Monga munthu wokonda kuledzera, ndimamva ngati ndiyenera kusiya zolaula komanso maliseche. Sikuti ndimangomva kuti ndachita zambiri mmoyo uno, koma palibe chomwe chidagwira bwino ntchito m'moyo wanga chifukwa cha vutoli. Ponena za kuthekera kokhala ndi chizolowezi "chiseweretsa maliseche", sindingayesere pakadali pano ndiye ndiyenera kubwereranso ndikadzakhazikika pambuyo pake.
Ndikulingalira cholinga changa chachikulu ndikutha kugwiritsa ntchito ndikuwongolera mphamvu zanga moyenera - kaya ndi zogonana, zakuthupi, zamaganizidwe, kapena zauzimu. Ndipo ngati ndiyenera kukondana ndi wina mtsogolo, ndikufuna kuti ndikwanitse kupereka mphamvu zanga zonse zogonana kuti ndilumikizane ndi munthu ameneyo.
Choyamba mbiri yakale:
MLUNGU 1
-Ndikuganiza kuti ndinali wokondwa chabe ndi chidziwitso chatsopano chokhudza zolaula komanso kusintha kwa kukonzanso. Ndipo moona mtima, ndikukhulupirira kuti ubongo wanga wa limbic sunamvetsetse zomwe zagunda panobe. Ndinayamba kusinkhasinkha miyezi itatu ndisanayambirenso, ndipo zinali zitayamba kale kuthetsa chilakolako chodziseweretsa maliseche pang'ono, ndiye kuti mwina zitha kundithandiza kuti ndiyambirenso.
-Kwa masiku oyamba a 2, ndidadzuka ndikumangika. Ndipo masana, minofu yanga yaminyewa imangogundika ndikakhala pa desiki yanga kuntchito. Ndikulingalira kuti dera lonselo limakhala ndi zipsinjo nthawi zonse kuchokera ku chizolowezi changa chodziseweretsa maliseche…
-Kutangoyambira Tsiku la 3, ndidayamba kukhala ndi maloto owoneka bwino omwe amaphatikizapo zochitika zolaula komanso zopweteka m'maganizo.
-Zowopsa, zowopsa, zowonera zolaula zamasewera omwe ndimakonda usiku ndi usiku. Ndimatha kudziwa kuti ubongo wanga ukuyesera kuwayang'ana komaliza. Poyamba, mtima wanga umayamba kugunda nthawi iliyonse ndikayamba kuthina. Izi zinali zovuta kusiya, makamaka ndikadzuka m'mawa ndikumva kuwawa. Ndinkafuna kukhala m'mawonetsero amenewo koma ndinatha kudzuka ndikuyamba kusinkhasinkha, zomwe zidandikhazika mtima pansi.
-Sabata likamapita, ndidayamba kumva zomwe aliyense amatchedwa "flatline" kutengera libido komanso kusinthasintha. Chilichonse chimawoneka ngati "imvi" ndipo sindimamva "kalikonse".
MLUNGU 2.
Ili linali sabata la NO CONCENTRATION ndi FLATLINING. Ndakhala ndikuyesera kuwerenga zolemba pa yourbrainonporn.com koma sindikuwoneka kuti ndimangoyang'ana kwambiri masekondi a 10. Izi ndi zomwe ndikulingalira kuti ndikadakhala ndi ADD…
Tsiku 10:
Ndidawerenga nkhani "Njira Zinayi za OCD" yolembedwa ndi Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz yomwe idatsegula maso. Ndikuganiza kuti ndakhala ndikulimbana ndi malingaliro odalira ena okhudzana ndi bwenzi langa lomwe sindinapezeke naye - monga chilichonse chomwe ndimachita chimandikumbutsa za iye - "Akadatani?" "Akanachita izi bwino kwambiri kuposa ine…", zinthu zodziwononga kwambiri.
Ndiyesa njira ya Relabel / Reattribute / Refocus / Revalue yamaganizidwe odalirawa komanso zovuta zanga zobwerezabwereza.
Tsiku 12:
Ndinali ndi maloto ogonana komanso achikondi okhudzana ndi nyenyezi zolaula. Zinali zosangalatsa kumva kuti 'ndimakonda kwambiri' nyenyezi yolaula. Ndidaziwona ngati ubongo wanga wamaimbidwe akusewera mopanda chilungamo, ndikuyesera kukopa zolaula m'moyo wanga.
Kumverera kwambiri 'blah'. Ndimadziyang'ana ndekha ndipo ndimadzimva wosasangalatsa. Ndimadana ndi zovala zanga, ndimadana ndi momwe ndimawonekera.
Tsiku 13:
Monga chida chimodzi mwazida Zobwezera, ndinapita kukawona msonkhano wa Toastmasters. Tsoka ilo malingaliro anga anali osasunthika - ndinalibe mphamvu, mwina ndiye chifukwa chomwe ndinadzimvera ngati sichinali chinthu changa ... Nditadziwonetsa ndekha pamaso pa gululo, ndimakhala womangika komanso wopanda malo ndipo zosatheka…
Ndidakwanitsa kukoka masewera olimbitsa thupi madzulo - zomwe zidasinthiratu malingaliro anga. Ndidadzimva kuti ndili wopanda chidwi 'pambuyo pake.
MLUNGU 3
Sabata ino, ndikuganiza kuti malingaliro anga adayamba kuchoka pompopompo. Ndinayambanso kuona zizindikiro zabwino apa ndi apo. Pakadali pano, ndinali ndi mphamvu zochepa sabata yonse - ndikuganiza kuti ndidagwa ndikugona nthawi yomweyo nditadya chakudya pafupifupi usiku uliwonse.
Tsiku 17:
Nthawi zambiri ndimakonda kuzisunga ndekha mukamachita masewera a karati koma ndimakambirana bwino ndikamacheza ndi anzanga tisanaphunzire. Ndipo sindinkachita mantha ndipo sindinkafulumira kutulutsa ziganizo zanga monga momwe ndimakhalira nthawi zambiri. Izi zidandipangitsa kuti ndipite ku 'Hmm ...' Ndikuganiza kuti mwina chinali chizindikiro choyamba pamakhalidwe.
Tsiku 18:
Mmawa wabwino. Ndinali wokondwa kwambiri panjira yopita kuntchito, koma ndimakhala wokhumudwa kwambiri panthawi yomwe ndimasiya ntchito. Ndikupita kunyumba "ndidadya" zomwe zidandipangitsa kuti ndikhumudwe pambuyo pake kuti ndifunse chifukwa chomwe ndimavutikira kuyesa.
Ndinalibe mphamvu nditafika kunyumba. Ndinayang'ana sitcom yomwe inali ndi sewero ndi zovala zamkati - popeza ndinali nditasiya zolaula kwa kanthawi, izi zinali zoyipa kwambiri kwa ine. Ndili ndi zolaula zambiri zomwe zidandibwerera. Zinandipangitsa kuganiza zopewa kuwonera TV kwakanthawi. Ndinapitirizabe kugwira mbolo yanga koma sindinkauma. Ndinali ndi mphamvu zochepa sindinathe kusinkhasinkha ndisanagone ndikadzuka.
Tsiku 20:
Ndinali ndi vuto ndi kompyuta yanga yomwe inandipangitsa kukhumudwa kwambiri ndipo ndinazindikira kuti ndikufuna kupitiriza kukhudza mbolo yanga kuti nditonthozedwe. Sikuti ndikufuna kuseweretsa maliseche koma ndikulakalaka kuonera zolaula ndikudzigwetsa ndekha mdziko lokondweretsali. Zimamveka zosamveka, chifukwa ndilibe libido.
Ndinakwanitsa kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi koma sizinasinthe malingaliro anga kwambiri.
Tsiku 21:
Ndinali ndi brunch wabwino ndi munthu wina amene sindinamuone kwakanthawi. Ndinapitiliza kuyankhula zakusangalatsidwa kwanga ndi dopamine ndi mphotho yoyendetsa madera Kutulutsa lilime Tinacheza kwambiri ndipo linali tsiku labwino. Zinandisangalatsa kwambiri. Sabata yachitatu idatha bwino.
MLUNGU 4
-Kumverera bwino nthawi zambiri. Ndikakhala wokondwa, zimawoneka kuti zimatenga nthawi yayitali kuposa kale.
-Ndimatha kumva kuti chidaliro chikuyamba kukula mkati mwanga.
-Ndinkakhala ndi nthawi zina pomwe ndimakhala wopanda anthu. Ndinatsala pang'ono kuwawombera koma ndine wokondwa kuti sindinatero.
-Miyewa yochepa imakhala yovuta kwambiri. Ndikuwoneka kuti ndibwerera mwachangu kwambiri. Kusintha cholinga changa kumayesabe zovuta koma nkosavuta.
-Zotheka kupumula zimayanjana ndi anzanga kuntchito.
-Ndikuwoneka kuti ndikutsegulidwa ndi anyamata ena mosavuta tsopano - koma ndimadzimva kuti sindingachite bwino - zili ngati "ndimayamikira" zinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimandipangitsa kukhala ndi chiyembekezo kapena china chake zomwe zimandipangitsa kupita, "limodzi la masiku awa ! ”
MLUNGU 5
Tsiku 29:
-Tinadzuka ndi "semi" 🙂
-Izi zinali zowonekera kale kuyambira pa Sabata la 1, koma osawononga nthawi yanga ndi mphamvu zanga zodziseweretsa maliseche kawiri patsiku zimapangitsa kudzuka m'mawa kosavuta kwambiri.
-Anali ndi zithunzi zolaula panjira yopita kuntchito m'mawa uno, koma sizinatengere nthawi kuti iidutse. Ndidazichita mosazindikira komanso mosasunthika - zinali ngati nyimbo, ngati kupatsira mpira mu basketball. Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndichitanso chimodzimodzi ndi kudalira kwanga, kudzigonjetsa, manyazi owopsa, malingaliro a OCD.
-Ndangodziwa kuti mwina ndikutha ntchito kumapeto kwa Meyi… Kupanikizika kwakukulu. Ndikufunirani mwayi, aliyense…
Tsiku 30:
-I * ndikuganiza * ziphuphu zanga zikutha tsopano! Ndinkafuna kudikira mpaka nditatsimikiza, ndipo ndikutsimikiza tsopano.
Ndinayamba kutenga ziphuphu zodabwitsa pamphumi panga miyezi 3 yapitayo, ndipo pamene palibe chomwe chinawaletsa, ndimaganiza kuti mwina akukhudzana kwambiri ndi maliseche. Ndilibe umboni wotsimikiza kulumikizanaku ndipo mwina chingangokhala chinthu chanthawi chabe, koma matumbo anga akumva amandiuza kuti ali pachibale. Ndikuwona ngati momwe thupi langa limandiuzira kuti china chake sichinali cholondola malinga ndi momwe ndimachichitira.
Mulimonsemo, kunali kugogoda "ziphuphu ndi maliseche" zomwe pamapeto pake zidanditsogolera kutsamba la Gary - ndiye ndikuganiza ndiyenera kuthokoza (?) Chifukwa cha ziphuphu zanga.
-Sindikukhulupirira kuti ndikulemba izi apa, koma ndili pamutu wosagwira thupi - ndikuganiza kuti matumbo anga alinso abwino. Ndine wotsika kwambiri.
-Ndikhala ndikulowa gawo lopanikizika ndikayamba kusaka ntchito - pakadali pano ndimakhala tcheru kwambiri kuzizindikiro zamtundu uliwonse zakubwereranso. Tikukhulupirira kuti nditha kukhalabe olimba munthawi zofookazi.
tsiku 31:
-Kudandaula. Ndimatanthauza kuti ndizigwiranso ntchito usiku watha koma ndidangogona pambuyo pa chakudya chamadzulo. Ndimangoyenda uku ndi uku pakati pamalingaliro olakwika m'mutu mwanga ndikukhala wolimba. Zimandivuta kunena kuti zomwe ndakhala ndikuchita kwa maola ambiri ndakhala ndikuwononga PMO.
-Chinthu chabwino chomwe ndinganene ndikuti mwina ndimakhumudwa pakadali pano koma zimamveka mosiyana ndi "ubongo wa ubongo" wa PMO. Ndinalibe mawu pa nthawiyo, koma pamene ndinali PMO-ing, ndimakonda kupeza malingaliro opanda thandizowa nthawi zosayembekezereka, ngakhale nditagona kwambiri kapena ndikudya moyenera kapena kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi nthawi zonse. Ndikakhala ndi chifunga chaubongo, ndimamverera ngati "wakufa" mkati mwanga ndipo maso anga samatha kuyang'ana. Izi, zimamveka mosiyana pang'ono. Zili ngati kukumana ndi zovuta kuposa kukhala wopanda chiyembekezo.
-Kukhala ndi nkhawa zakutsogolo kumandipangitsa "kubwerera". "Ndikufuna amayi anga" malingaliro amtundu wina ndipo zikundipangitsa kuti ndiphonye PMO paradiso komwe ndimakhala wotetezeka komanso wotetezedwa ndikulola kuzunguliridwa ndi amuna onse okongola, olimba. Ndimamva chisoni ndikakhala ndi zolaula. Ndikuganiza kuti ndibwino kuti ndikudziwa malingaliro awa m'malo momira mmenemo, ndikuti ndikutulutsa mphamvu polemba apa.
Ndikutenga milungu iwiri kuchokera kuntchito kukafunafuna ntchito. Lero linali tsiku loyamba kutuluka ndipo ndimamva kuti pachiwopsezo m'mawa kuti ndisakhale ndi chitsogozo chokhazikika. Ndinali wamantha kwambiri ndikakumana ndi nthawi yochuluka ndekha. Sindikuganiza kuti ndizingoyang'ana P koma zomwe zimandivutitsa ndikuti ndimakonda kuzengereza kuwonera ma sitcom - ndili ndi ma sitcom ambiri omwe ndasungidwa mu hard drive yanga (hard drive yomweyo yomwe ndimakonda kusunga zolaula zanga zonse) Ndimakonda kugona nawo ndikuwayang'ana m'mawa.
Tsikuli silinali loyipa ngakhale - ndinakwanitsa kuyambiranso ndikulitumiza ku kampani imodzi. Ndimaphunzitsa mtsikana m'modzi ndipo ndimakambirana naye madzulo. Ndinali wokondwa kukhala ndi mgwirizano weniweni waumunthu. Tsiku 33:
Monga ndidanenera pamwambapa, ndidagona ndikuwonera ma sitcom ndikudzuka kwa iwo. Ndikudziwa kuti tsopano ndi chida changa posankha kuzengereza. Ndikuganiza zokhazikitsa hard drive panthawiyi yosaka ntchito. Ma sitcoms (ndi mapulogalamu a pa TV onse) amakhala ndi zoyambitsa!
Ndikulingaliranso kuseketsa ndandanda kapena nthawi yamapulogalamu panthawi yanga yopuma, monga nthawi yodzuka, kusinkhasinkha, kusaka ntchito pamzere, nkhomaliro, zolimbitsa thupi, ndi zina zambiri, kotero sindimachita mantha zokhudzana ndi kubwereranso. Ndikakhala ndi nthawi yochuluka panyumba, uwu ukadakhala mwayi wabwino kwa okalamba kuti ndizitha maola ndi maola ndikuseweretsa maliseche - ndikumadzimvera chisoni ndikudzida pambuyo pake. Zomwe sizikuchitika, zikomo Mulungu.
Ndikutuluka usikuuno kuti ndikawone mnzanga yemwe ndimamumvera - nthawi yomaliza yomwe ndidamuwona mwezi watha, ndidakhala wokhumudwa tsiku lotsatira. Alidi bwenzi labwino ndipo amanditenga kuti titha kukambirana zantchito yanga - ndikhulupilira kuti nditha kuyang'ana ndikuyamikira gawo laubwenzi.
Pepani ndimangolankhula zazomwe zandichitikira pano zomwe zikukhudzana kwambiri ndikuchedwa komanso kupulumuka kwenikweni - mu dipatimenti ya PMO, ndikumva ngati ndikuyendetsa galimoto pakadali pano, chifukwa cha zovuta zina zambiri. Ndilibe zambiri za libido - ndimadzuka mofewa. Ndakhala bwino osakhudza mbolo yanga, yomwe ndimaona kuti ndiyovuta.
Tsiku 34:
Ndidadzuka molawirira ndikuyamba kufunafuna ntchito pa intaneti koma ndidayamba kuzengeleza - ndili wokhumudwa. Ndidakhala tsiku lonse osachita kalikonse koma kuwonera ma sitcom. Ndikumva kuwawa.
Tsiku 35:
PAFUPIFUPI anabwereranso. Sindikukhulupirira. Ndinadzuka ndili wokhumudwa ndipo ndisanadziwe ndikupitiliza kudzigwira komweko ndikusunthira dzanja langa - pamapeto pake, ndinalimba mtima ndikulisisita pang'ono.
Ndinayambanso kuganizira zolaula. Ndidayesetsa kuti ndisamaganize zolaula ndimangodzikhudza. Nditangoganiza kuti ndiyamba kulephera komanso kugonjera zofuna zanga, ndidadumphira pabedi, ndikasamba madzi ozizira, ndikusintha ndikukhalitsa.
SINDIKUFUNA KUTI NDINASANGALIRA BWINO KWAMBIRI NDIPONSO ZABWINO !!
Ndikumva ngati ndikukumbutsidwa za momwe chizolowezichi chidakhazikika mwa ine komanso kuti ndili ndi njira zopitira…
Ndipita kukawona mayi anga pachakudya chamadzulo - ndikukhulupirira kuti zindithandiza kuti ndituluke pamalowo pang'ono ...
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Ndidakhala ndi masana abwino ndi amayi anga - ndimapita kwa iwo, kotero ndidakambirana za moyo wanga wachikondi, zomwe zinali zabwino. Ndinkakweranso njinga yanga ndipo ndimamva ngati ndachita masewera olimbitsa thupi.
MLUNGU 6
Sabata 6… ikumveka ngati "yapita patsogolo" - ngakhale zakhala ngati mwezi umodzi kapena kupitilira apo. Koma, malinga ndi mgwirizano, apa ndi pomwe malingaliro amayamba kukhazikika ndipo zinthu zonse zabwino zimayamba kuchitika. (Ndikudziwa kuti ikadali njira yopanda malire, ndikudziwa, ndikudziwa…) Ndipo popeza chizolowezi changa chidayamba kuyambira ndili mwana (pa 11) ndipo chidakhala zaka 25, nditha kutenga nthawi yayitali kuti ndichiritse kuposa masiku onse, koma ndili ndi chiyembekezo.
Ndikuyamba kumvetsera kwambiri kukula kwa mbolo yanga tsopano - monga ndidanenera poyamba, popeza ndimagonana kwambiri, sindinadziwe momwe vuto langa la ED lidalili lalikulu kufikira nditafika patsamba lino. Zimamveka zazing'ono kwambiri komanso zopanda moyo pakadali pano, zomwe zimandidetsa nkhawa pang'ono. Nthawi yokhayo yomwe idadzaza (zonse zowongoka komanso zopanda pake) m'zaka zaposachedwa ndipamene ndimatenga zinc ndi maca - ndikukhulupirira kuti nditha kupeza girth kapena china choyandikira mwachilengedwe.
tsiku 36
Wadzuka ndi 45% erection. Sall tsopano. 🙂
Ugh, kuzengereza kochuluka ... sindikuzinyadira.
Sindingathe kuyang'ana konse pomwe ndimayesetsa kudzaza fomu yayitali yofunsira ntchito, yomwe sindinamalize ngakhale ndinali nayo tsiku lonse. Ndinagona mtulo pamene ndinali kuwonera masewera ...
tsiku 37
Ndinadzuka ndikumangokhalira kumangokhalira kugwira mbolo yanga, zomwe zinandipangitsa kukhala pabedi motalika kwambiri kuposa momwe ndimafunira. Sikunali kuseweretsa maliseche, komabe, ndikudziwa kuti ndinali pafupi ... Ndikadakhala ndi ena omwe adadzutsa zithunzi zolaula - munthawi imeneyo, tsopano nditha kunena kuti theka langa ndikuyesetsa kuti ndisamvere pamene theka lina likufuna kuthamangitsa iwo.
Kenaka ndinayamba kuyang'ana pa intaneti ndikuyamba kujambula zithunzi zowoneka bwino kwambiri - miseche yoyamba, kenako ochita zisangalalo, kenako omanga thupi ... sindinapite kumalo azolaula koma awa ndi malo otsetsereka. Momwe ndimagwirira ntchito yofunsira ntchito, ndimafuna kubwerera kuti ndikawone anyamata otentha kwambiri…
Mwamuna, kukhala ndi nthawi yochuluka kunyumba kumandisiya ine pachiwopsezo chambiri cha kuyesedwa kwakuthupi ndi kwamaganizidwe. Nthawi zonse ndimayenera kukumbukira kutuluka panja kapena kukankhira kwina kapena chilichonse chomwe ndingagwiritse ntchito kuti ndizisokoneze. Khalani olimba, aliyense, ngati mukukumana ndi zovuta monga momwe ndiliri tsopano.
tsiku 38
Ndili bwino, makamaka chifukwa ndinali ndi chakudya chamadzulo chosangalatsa ndi mzanga yemwe sindinamuwonepo kanthawi usiku watha NDINAKWANZA kumaliza mayeso ndikunditumiza kuti ndikakhale ndi chidwi.
Pa chakudya chamadzulo usiku watha, ndimazindikira m'modzi mwa operekera zakudya - adandimwetulira kangapo zomwe ndidapeza zokongola kwambiri. Izi zidandipangitsa kuti ndikhale ndi chiyembekezo chodzabweranso mtsogolo nditayambiranso. Komabe, sindikudziwa ngati izi zili ndi kanthu kochita nazo, koma ndakhala WONSE KWAMBIRI m'maola 12 apitawa. Ndinayenera kugona mochedwa kwambiri ndikugwira ntchito yoyeserera usiku watha ndipo nditagona, ndinavutika kwambiri ndipo ndinayamba kukhala ndi erection mwadzidzidzi - zomwe zinali zatsopano kwa ine!
Zochitika zolaula masiku ano ndizolimba kwambiri masiku ano - ubongo wanga umafufuza zochitika pambuyo pazaka 25 zomwe ndapeza muzosungidwa zanga zamaganizidwe… Sangokhala nthabwala 'akamati zomwe zawonedwa sizingawonekere. Yikes!
Ndili ndi masewera a karati usikuuno ndiye ndikukhulupirira kuti nditha "kuyambiranso" malingaliro anga.
tsiku 39
Ndinali ndi maloto omveka bwino onena za ine ndikudya - zinali zenizeni momwe zimawonetsera njira yanga yakale ya PMO ndimankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi chilichonse. Sindinakhalepo kwambiri ndikadzuka komabe.
Ndinakumana ndi wosaka mutu m'mawa ndikupita kukadya nkhomaliro ndi anthu ochepa omwe ndimagwirako ntchito, zomwe zidali zosangalatsa. Iwo anali kundichirikiza ndi ine kuyesa kupeza ntchito.
Madzulo, ndimawerenga zolemba zanga kuchokera chaka chathachi ndipo zidandipangitsa kukhala wokhumudwa - makamaka chifukwa ndidadziwona ndikulimbana ndi kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira. Ndinalira kwa kanthawi - koma sizinali zoyipa kapena zachisoni - zinali ngati kuzindikira momwe ndikudziwira chifukwa chomwe ndakhala ndikumva chisoni nthawi yonseyi. Zinkawoneka ngati ndikutaya umunthu wanga wakale ndikuganiza - kusiya, kuyeretsa.
Ngakhale zili pantchito, ndazindikira pakadali pano ndili ndi chidaliro chachilendo ichi kuti mwina zonse zikhala bwino - mwina ndizokhulupirira, koma ndikuwona kusagwirizana pakati panga kuyesera kuyambiranso ndikuyesera kupeza njira yatsopano yaukadaulo. Pakadali pano, ndikuganiza ndikungoyenera kuleza mtima.
tsiku 40
Tsiku lotanganidwa ndi Kinda - adakhala kunja kwanthawi yayitali, kotero sizoyesa zambiri.
Kompyuta yanga yapakompyuta idasweka kotero ndidagula laputopu yatsopano. Yakwana nthawi yoti nditsanzike ndi kompyuta yomwe ndimakonda kuwonera zolaula zambiri. Izi zikundipatsa mwayi woti nditsukireko kwambiri digito kuti ndiwononge chilichonse chomwe sindifuna. Zimamveka ngati zabwino.
tsiku 41
Ndinagwira ntchito pa laputopu yanga yatsopano tsiku lonse koma ndinakwanitsa kudzipangitsa kuti ndizichita masewera olimbitsa thupi madzulo. Ndidatulutsa matako koma ndapeza zambiri. Ndakhala ndikupusitsika chifukwa chokhala wowoneka bwino masiku ano, chifukwa chake zidatulutsa zokhumudwitsa zina.
tsiku 42
Ndinali ndi tsiku lopindulitsa - ndinameta tsitsi langa, ndimagula zinthu, komanso ndimachita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Sindinakweze zolemera kwakanthawi, koma ndimamva bwino. Tsopano ndikubwerera kunyumba, ndikugwirabe ntchito laputopu yanga yatsopano ... O, ndidakumana ndi chikwatu chomwe chinali ndi zolaula ndipo ndidazichotsa nthawi yomweyo - NDINADZIWA ngati ndingawone zikhadabo zawo kapena maudindo okhawo, khala m'mavuto…
Chabwino, ndikulingalira ndikumapeto kwa Sabata la 6. Sindinagwire ntchito sabata ino yonse komanso lotsatira, kotero mwina kukhala ndi nkhawa zochepa tsiku ndi tsiku kunapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati zosavuta. Izi zikunenedwa, ndikuganiza kuti ndinali ndi zolaula zambiri kumbuyo ndikugwira mbolo yanga nthawi zambiri kuposa momwe ndimachitira m'masabata am'mbuyomu. Nthawi zambiri ndimakhala m'mawa, komwe ndimaonera zolaula ndikuyamba kugwira mbolo yanga - kangapo ndimayandikira kwambiri maliseche.
MLUNGU 7
Tsiku 43-46
Palibe zambiri zonena koma kupempha kwa PMO kumawoneka kuti kwatha tsopano. Maganizo anga akhala abwino, ndakhala ndikudekha ndipo ndikayamba kudziletsa, ndimawoneka kuti ndikuwataya mwachangu.
Ndazindikira kuti chinsinsi chothanirana ndi chizolowezi chomwa mowa mwauchidakwa ndichodzisokoneza ndi kugula nthawi mpaka zolakalaka zitadutsa - kuwunikira momwe zilili zovuta.
Komabe palibe chisonyezo chakusintha ndi mbolo yanga - ndidadzuka ndikumangapo kangapo koma pang'ono ndi pang'ono. Ndakhala bwino osakhudza mbolo yanga.
tsiku 49
Pafupifupi munabwereranso. Izi ndi zomwe zidachitika: Ndidachita masewera olimbitsa thupi usiku watha, ndipo ndidaganiza zopita ku sauna pambuyo pake. Ndikulingalira kuti kuwona amuna onse amaliseche awa atandizungulira kunayambitsa zolimbikitsa zanga, koma Hei, mwina anali zoyambitsa zenizeni za anthu m'malo mwa zithunzi pazenera! Komabe, izi zidandipangitsa kuti ndiyang'ane malo osambira ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha pafoni yanga popeza ndimagona ndipo ndidapitilizabe kutero ndikadzuka m'mawa. Ndinapewa kuyang'ana pazithunzi zenizeni zamaliseche koma ndinayamba kudzikhudza ndekha pamene ndimawerenga zakugonana ndi anyamata ena. Ndinapitirizabe kuchita khama ndikusiya - koma pamapeto pake ndinayima ndikaganiza za mnzanga yemwe amadziwa zakubwezeretsanso kwanga, komanso amene akufuna kusiya kusuta yekha, ndikuganiza kuti nditha kulemba za zomwe zachitika m'malo mwake. Chifukwa chake, athokozeni MULUNGU pamsonkhanowu.
Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe ndidazindikira ndikumagwira mbolo yanga bwino ndikumva kokwanira kuti ndikalimbike. M'mbuyomu, ndikuganiza kuti njira yanga yodziseweretsa maliseche inali yokhudzana ndi kukangana kumeneku kuti ndikhale / kukhalabe olimba, zomwe sizimamva bwino nthawi ino pomwe ndimayesa. Zinandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti kudzuka kwanga ndisanayambe kuyambiranso kumadalira kwathunthu momwe chilichonse chomwe ndimayang'ana chinali cholimbikitsa. Nthawi ino ndidayamikiradi kukhudzidwa kwa dzanja langa, zomwe ndikuganiza kuti ndichizindikiro chabwino.
O, ndiyenera kuzindikira kuti sindinasinkhasinkhire sabata ino yonse - ndikadakhala kuti nditakambirana zambiri, ndikunena kuti ndisanagone usiku watha, ndikadakhala kuti ndikumverera mosiyana m'mawa uno…
Tsopano ndikutsutsana - nditawerenga za ma saunas achiwerewere, ndili ndi chidwi chofufuza lero masana - zomwe sindikuganiza kuti ndi lingaliro labwino. Choyamba, sindikufuna kuti "ndizingokhalira" kuyang'ana anyamata ku saunas, komanso pazifukwa zathanzi - ndikudziwa anyamata ambiri omwe ali ndi ma bafa opatsirana pogonana pafupipafupi ndipo amagonana mosatetezeka. Ngakhale zili choncho, ndikutha kuzindikira kuti "malingaliro osokoneza bongo" akugwiranso kumbuyo kwa mutu wanga, ndikupita, "Chabwino, ndikawona mnzanga pachakudya chamadzulo, ndimatha kupita ku sauna iyi KUNGOYANG'ANIRA… bola ndikadapereka Kugonana, zili bwino… ”Ngati si kuyankhula kwa dopamine, sindikudziwa.
Potseka:
Kuphatikiza pa chochitika chaching'ono m'mawa uno, ndikuganiza Sabata 7 yakhala ngati yopanda tanthauzo, koma mdera lakumtunda. Kusintha kwanga kunali kochepa kapena kochepa kwambiri. Ngati mungayang'ane ma chart a likeanidiot's (https://www.reuniting.info/node/6002), muwona zomwe ndikutanthauza. Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, anali ndi gawo lomaliza lomaliza pa Tsiku 48 ndipo adandichenjezanso momwe zinthu zingakhalire zovuta ngakhale pambuyo pa mwezi umodzi kapena kuyambiranso. Komanso, zikuwoneka kuti pali zolemba zambiri zokhudza kubwereranso patatha nthawi yayitali, motero ndikudziwa kuti sindinganene kuti sindinachenjezedwe!
Zikomo powerenga komanso thandizo lanu - khalani olimba mtima, aliyense.
Pezani
Ndingakhale woonamtima kwathunthu pano - ndidagonjera ku chidwi changa ndipo ndidapita kukawona sauna imodzi yomwe ikuyenera kukhala yosangalatsa amuna okhaokha ndipo ina ndiyolunjika kwathunthu. Palibe chomwe chidachitika koma linali tsiku lachilendo. Ndinapitirizabe kufuna kudzutsidwa ndi zochitika zosayenera, ndikuyembekeza kuti chinachake chiti chichitike.
Mukudziwa, ndimakonda kupita kumakalabu azakugonana komanso malo osambira ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha mzaka zanga za 20, ndipo lero zandikumbutsa za kudzikongoletsa komwe ndimamva kumaloko. Ndikupita kunyumba ndinaganiza mumtima mwanga, "Ayi, si momwe ndikufuna kukakumana ndi mnzanga. Sindikufuna kukumana ndi mwamuna wanga wamtsogolo (lol) pankhani yokhudza kugonana kokha. ” Ndachira kwambiri pakadali pano ndipo ndakhala ndikuphunzira masewera omenyera nkhondo kwambiri mchaka chatha - ndipo zolaula zili pafupi ndi kachitidwe kanga, ndakhala ndikumva kukhala woyera mkati. Kuyenda mozungulira m'malo osambiramo sikugwirizana kwenikweni ndi momwe ine ndilili komanso moyo wanga tsopano - komanso mwakuthupi - ndidadziwona ndekha wamaliseche pakalilore kakang'ono lero koyamba kwanthawi yayitali ndikuwona kuti mwina ndili bwino nthawi zonse m'moyo wanga chifukwa cha maphunziro onse. Ndiye bwanji ndikadzichepetsera tsopano? Chifukwa chiyani ndikudziyika dala pamaso pa anthu ofuna chilakolako chogonana, ena mwa iwo omwe angakhale osokoneza bongo pamlingo winawake, monga momwe ndinalili poyamba? Ndikumvetsa kuti sizingakhale zophweka kupeza munthu wamalingaliro ngati omwe ndimakhala nawo, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndi gawo limodzi la njira zomwe ubongo wanga ungabwerere ndi njira zatsopano komanso zathanzi zopezera mnzake.
Chifukwa chake, ndaganiza zoyang'ana lero ngati kutseka - kusiya zikhalidwe zanga zonyansa komanso zachiwerewere ndikudziwa kuti sindiyeneranso kutsatira njira yomweyo. Malo osambira a gay - zikomo, koma ayi. Ndidatha nanu.
MLUNGU 8
tsiku 50
Oy. Ndikulipira mtengo wa HUUUUUUUUUGE posokoneza mphamvu zanga zogonana podziwonetsera ndekha kwa amuna amaliseche onse mu saunas dzulo. Zolakalaka zanga zogonana NDI ZOPHUNZIRA, ndi zamisala. Kodi uku ndikubwerera kwa libido yanga yathanzi? Ine ndikuganiza ayi. Koma, pazifukwa zilizonse, zabwino kapena zoyipa, uku ndiye kugonana komwe ndimamva kwambiri kuyambira pomwe ndidayambiranso. Ndipo nyengo yotentha iyi? Kuiwala za. Ndikumva ngati ndikung'amba zovala zanga ndikumathamanga m'misewu. Mtima wanga umatuluka m'chifuwa changa nthawi zonse ndikawona chilichonse chomwe chimandisangalatsa. M'malo mwake, izi zimamveka ngati zamankhwala zimandikumbutsa nthawi yomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito cocaine, makamaka.
Ndinapeputsa kwenikweni zomwe zimayambitsa manyazi kuwona amuna amaliseche enieni zitha kukhala za ine. Ndikapita kunyumba nditatha saunas, ndimayandikira kwambiri masamba azolaula pa intaneti. Ndimalola zithunzi zingapo zogonana zibwere m'maso mwanga ndisanayang'ane kutali kapena kusintha masamba - ndipo pomwe ndimakhalabe osasamala za iwo, ndikutsimikiza sizinathandize.
Nditafika pakama, sindinathe kusiya kudzikhudza. Ndinavutikira kamodzi ndipo ndinayandikira pafupi ndikumangotuluka kokha pambuyo pa kukwapulidwa kangapo. Ndidayimitsa pomwepo koma chidwi cha "edging" sichinachoke ndipo chinakhala kwa mphindi zochepa. Ngakhale mbolo yanga itakhala yofewa, ndimamva ngati chithunzi china cholimbikitsa m'mutu mwanga chikadandipangitsa kuti ndikhale pomwepo. Izi zidamasula abusa mwa ine - ndidathamangira kukhitchini, ndikutenga paketi ya ayisi mufiriji, ndikuyiyika kumaliseche kwanga. Phew.
Mosakayikira, Zinandivuta kugona, ndipo ndinadzuka kale kuposa momwe ndimakonzera. Kusinkhasinkha kunathandiza pang'ono komabe, ndimamva ngati pali mphamvu zina zomwe zimawoneka ngati maliseche. Pomwe ndimakonda kudya PMO, ndimakonda kumva kuti "zatha" kutengera mizu yanga chakra - izi pakadali pano zimamveka ngati zosemphana ndi izi. Ndizoyipa - koma monga zimatha kuphulika nthawi iliyonse. Ndazindikira kuti ndikupuma mopumira pang'ono ndipo mtima wanga ukugundanso mwachangu.
Ndimachita mantha ndikaganiza zopita kunyumba ndikuthana ndi mayesero a PMO usikuuno ... Ndichita zonse kuti ndithamange - ndafika pano.
tsiku 51
Chikuchitika ndi chiani ine ??? Ndabwerera kuofesi yanga sabata ino ndikumaliza zinthu mpaka Lachiwiri lotsatira - ndipo ndangoyendera masamba ena azakugonana… NTCHITO. Ndakhala ndikudandaula za zolaula zoyambirira zomwe ndidaziwona ndili ndi 11 - zinali zolaula zowongoka ndipo ndakhala ndikuyesera kuti ndidziwe mutu wake. Ndinayamba kusaka ndi google ndipo ndisanadziwe, ndimatsegula masamba omwe ali NSFW kwathunthu…
Kusakanikirana ndi chisangalalo chokhala kuntchito, ndikudziwa kuti izi zasintha ubongo wanga - mwina "ndachotsa" zina mwa ntchito zomwe ndachita poyambitsa dopamine m'njira yakale.
Komabe, mwina ndikuphatikiza kuti "Zichiteni" chifukwa ndi sabata yanga yomaliza muofesi iyi, komanso ndimafunsa mafunso pambuyo pa ntchito, ndipo ndine wamanjenje ndikuyesera kuthawa kapena china chake.
Ndimakondabe kuona zithunzi zolaula.
Ndiyenera kukhala wamphamvu kuposa izi.
tsiku 52
Ndamva kuchokera kwa yemwe adafunsa mafunso dzulo kuti sindinapeze ntchito - zomwe zili bwino. Ndinadziwa kuti sizinali zanga. M'malo mwake, kuyankhulana kudawulula zambiri za ine komanso mtundu wa malangizo omwe ndikufuna kupita pantchito yabwino. Tinali ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi AMAZING madzulo.
tsiku 53
Ndinadzuka mwamphamvu - kapena, ndikuganiza kuti ndinayamba kudzikhudza ndekha ndikudzuka, koma kwenikweni ndikupitilizabe. Ndikulingalira ndikumva kukhala chete pang'ono komanso wopenga lero. Ndabwerera kusinkhasinkha tsiku lililonse sabata ino, ndiye kuti ndizabwino.
Ndidakhala ndi nkhawa panjira yopita kuntchito kuchokera kumalingaliro osakanikirana ndikukhala ndi chiyembekezo. Ndizowopsa komanso zimamasula nthawi yomweyo osadziwa komwe ndikupita. Ndimadzimva kuti ndine wopanda chitetezo komabe ndili ndi chidaliro chodzidalira kuti popeza ndikumenya vutoli lomwe lakhala gawo lalikulu kwambiri la yemwe ndili, moyo wanga uyamba kuwonekera bwino kwambiri.
tsiku 56
Ngakhale ndinazindikira kuti sabata yatha kuti sindikufuna kubwerera kukasamba, ndimangokhalira kuganizira za iwo sabata yonseyi. Ndikuganiza kuti zidandikhudza mtima - ndimatha kudziwa kuti ndikuyamba kumva kuti sindimva bwino Lachisanu. Ndikuganiza kuti iyi ndi gawo lina la kukakamira / kukakamiza komwe ndiyenera kuthana nako.
Masabata awiri apitawa adandipangitsa kuzindikira kuti nkhani yanga ndi yayikulupo kuposa PMO. Ndi kukakamizidwa kugonana. Kwenikweni, ndi chokulirapo kuposa icho - ndi njira yowononga yomwe ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanga ndi mphamvu. Kwa nthawi yayitali pamoyo wanga, ndinali mndende yothamangitsa chilakolako chogonana ndikuthawa zenizeni. Dr. Kevin McCauley adatsutsa m'makanema ake (omwe amapezeka pa yourbrainonporn.com) kuti kuzolowera ndi "matenda osankha". Tsopano popeza ndayamba kudzimva kuti sindiyenera kumangotsatira zofuna zanga nthawi zonse, kodi ndisankha chiyani?
Ndimasankha kupitilizabe.
Ndimasankha kupitilizabe kufikira tsiku langa.
Ndimasankha kukhala kutali ndi zinthu zazomwe ndizotheka, kuti nditha kubwezeretsanso chidwi chathu.
Ndimasankha kudziphunzitsa kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu zanga moyenera, ndikulimbana ndi chilimbikitso chopita kuzimbudzi ngakhale nditangosangalala pang'ono, ziribe kanthu momwe ubongo wanga ungandithandizire kukhala "wathanzi" anthu ”. Ndimasankha kunyalanyaza ubongo wanga ukawopseza kuti, "Ukathera wekha ukapanda kutuluka…" Ndasankha kunyalanyaza manthawo pakadali pano ndikusankha kukhala ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti ngati ndingathe kuthana ndi chikakamizo changa chogonana, ndidzachita izi khalani wathanzi, chifukwa chake mutha kukopa wina wathanzi.
Ndiye ndizomwe ndachita lero. Ndikadatha kupita ku sauna yomwe ndidapeza kuti ikuyenera kukhala yachinyengo pomwe ndawona amayi anga masanawa. M'malo mwake, ndidabwera molunjika kunyumba, ndikupumula, ndikugwiranso ntchito ndikulemba izi. Ndipo ndikumva bwino za izi.
MLUNGU 9
Sabata ino idadutsa - nanga masiku atatu omaliza pantchito yanga yakale (kapena ndimaganiza - adandifunsanso masiku ena atatu sabata yamawa), kenako zoyankhulana zazikulu ziwiri, zonse zomwe zidayenda bwino kwambiri. Sindikufuna kuchilumikiza choncho ndilemba zambiri za sabata yamawa.
Ndinadzilola kuti ndidzuke pang'ono pochezera mawebusayiti ena azibwenzi ndikuwerenga za malo osisitirako zolaula pa intaneti. Ndimachitabe zomwezo pabedi momwe ndimadzikhudzira mpaka ndizivutika, kenako ndimasiya. Ndikuganiza kuti zosankha zanga ndizolimba pang'ono komanso zolimba kuposa kale.
Poyerekeza ndi momwe ndimakhalira, ndidayenda kunja kwambiri sabata ino chifukwa chofunsidwa pantchito, ndipo ndidawona anthu ambiri okongola atatuluka. Kuyambira pamenepo ndakhala ndikumverera zochulukirapo ngati kupita kunja ndikukakumana ndi anyamata ena.
Kuphatikiza apo, ndimangokhalira kumenya masewera andewu - panali mayanjano ochezeka (ndipo mwina achikondi ???) ndi wina yemwe ndakhala ndikulakalaka naye kuchokera kumachitidwe - tiwona.
Patha miyezi iwiri kuyambira pomwe ndidayambiranso. Ndikudziwa kuti ndili ndi njira zina zopitira koma ndimamva kale ngati ndine munthu wosintha m'njira zambiri.
MLUNGU 10
tsiku 65
Kukula, ndimakonda kulakalaka ndikadakhala ndi mchimwene wanga wamkulu. Mwina zinali ndi chochitika chakuti sindinamve otetezeka kwathunthu ngati mwana yekhayo wolumikizidwa ndi mayi wosakhazikika mu mtima komanso bambo wopanda mwana. Ndinafuna wina wamphamvu kuti anditeteze, andiphunzitse, ndi kukhala ndi ine. Ndikuganiza kuti kulakalaka ndidachita gawo lalikulu la kugonana kwanga amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nditakula. Ndimakonda abambo omwe anali akulu komanso athanzi kuposa ine. Nthawi zambiri ndimakonda kuthamangitsa mwana wamwamuna kapena m'bale wake ngati wamwano m'maganizo anga nthawi yogonana kapenanso kumawasewera nthawi zina ngati mnzakeyo akalolera. Mchiyanjano, ndimatha kumva kuti ndine wofooka yemwe amafunika kupulumutsidwa.
Pakhala pali kusintha kwakukulu mwa ine pambuyo pa ntchito yonse yochiritsa yomwe ndachita mchaka chatha NDI njira yobwezeretsanso yomwe ndikudutsamo pakali pano. Ndikuganiza kuti nditha kunenadi kuti ndidadzipulumutsa (mothandizidwa ndi mabuku, aphunzitsi, ndi masamba ena abwino kuphatikizapo awa).
Posachedwa ndakhala ndikuganizira kwambiri za kukhala paubwenzi ndi wina, ndipo lero, ndidazindikira kuti ndili ndi malingaliro osiyana ndi ine ndekha komanso maubale. Tsopano ndikuganiza kuti kukhala pachibwenzi sikofunikira. Sizili ngati chakudya kapena mpweya. Komanso sindikufunikira kuti ndikamve kukhala wathunthu. Ndikumva kuti ndili ndekha, ndikuimirira, mwina koyamba m'moyo wanga. Ngati sizinapangidwe kukhala, ndingavomereze kusakhala ndi chibwenzi. Ndikupitilizabe kukula ngati munthu.
Koma mukudziwa chiyani? Muyenera kukhala wina kunja komwe amene angapindule ndikukula ngati munthu wokhala pachibwenzi ndi ine - wina yemwe ndingathe kulumikizana kuti ndikwaniritse kumvetsetsa kwa chikondi, moyo, ndi chifundo, zomwe sizingapezeke payekhapayekha.
Ndikungokhulupirira kuti ndidzadalitsidwa ndi mwayiwu.
Ndikuganiza kuti ndatsala pang'ono kukonzekera. Ndatsala pang'ono kufika. Ndikudziwa posachedwa ndidzakhala wolimba mtima komanso wotsimikiza mtima kugawana moyo wanga ndi wina. Poganizira momwe ndikumvera tsopano, ndikuganiza kuti Tsiku 140 linali kuyesa kwabwino potengera nthawi yanga yochira.
tsiku 69
Ndikuganiza kuti ndidapeza ntchito. Ndidauzidwa kuti ndilandila Lolemba lotsatira. Ngati malipiro ali ovomerezeka, uwu ukhala ntchito yabwino kwambiri kwa ine pompano. Ndi chinthu chomwe chimagwiritsa ntchito maluso anga ndi zomwe ndakumana nazo komanso china chomwe ndinganyadire nacho. NDIPO nditha kupitiliza kuchita masewera a karati madzulo, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti dziko lapansi kwa ine tsopano.
Ndidayenera kuyesa mayeso awiri pamalopo, ndipo adandiwuza kuti ndili ndi zambiri kwambiri zonsezo. Ndikuganiza kuti ndinatha kusiya izi chifukwa ndimayambiranso ntchito ndipo ndimatha kupitiliza kuzengeleza komanso kuchita mantha.
M'mbuyomu ndidayankhula momwe ndimadziwikiranso ndekha, ndipo ndikukhulupirira kuti zonse zikuchitika limodzi nthawi yomweyo pazifukwa.
MLUNGU 11
tsiku 75
Ili lakhala sabata lokhumudwitsa kwambiri. Ndiyenera kudikirira kunyumba kuti ndimve kuchokera kumapeto omaliza okhudza ntchito yanga yatsopano (yomwe yatsimikizika tsopano). Ndidakhala kunyumba osachita chilichonse kuti ndisagwiritse ntchito ndalama, ndipo zidasokoneza mkhalidwe wanga. Ndikuganiza kuti ndichifukwa chake sindinalembetse sabata yonse. Ndikulakalaka nditadutsa posachedwa, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndimadana ndi lingaliro longofuula pomwe palibe aliyense amene angachite.
Ndinagona kwambiri m'maola odabwitsa ndipo ndimakhala wokhumudwa komanso wokhumudwa. Kukhudza kwanga mbolo kunayamba kuwonjezeka mobwerezabwereza ndipo ndisanadziwe, ndinadzipeza "ndikukongoletsa" kwambiri pabedi. Ndinakwanitsa kupita kumasewera a karate madzulo koma ndimalumpha ina, zomwe zimandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wolakwa komanso wokhumudwa, chifukwa ndinali wokhulupirika kwambiri.
Dzulo, ndimayenera kukambirana za malipiro anga ndipo zidandipangitsa kukhala wamantha komanso wokhumudwa, popeza ndidazindikira kuti sizabwino kwenikweni momwe ndimaganizira. M'malo mwake, amalipira pafupifupi ofanana ndi ntchito yanga yakale. Ndikudziwa kuti ngati ntchito, iyi ndiyabwino kwambiri kuposa ntchito yanga yakale, chifukwa chake ndikudziwa kuti ndili panjira yoyenera, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndimayembekezera kuti zachuma zikhala bwino kwambiri, zidandipangitsa kukhala wokhumudwa kwambiri, opusa, opanda pake, ngakhale.
Masiku angapo apitawa ndidayamba kuchezera mawebusayiti azibwenzi. Zomwezi ndizabwino kwambiri, m'malingaliro mwanga, chifukwa ndikuyamba kupeza njira zolumikizirana ndi anthu - vuto masambawa amakhala ndi maulalo okhudzana ndi zolaula. Ndidayamba kuwadina dzulo. Ndinapitirizabe kukana kuchita nawo maliseche komanso kuwonera makanema, koma ndimawona zolaula zambiri zomwe zidakali zithunzi ndipo ndimapitilizabe kukonza.
Ndipo m'mawa uno, ndaona chidutswa chimodzi chachifupi. Sindinatengeke, koma PMO-wanzeru, ndikuganiza ndimakhala ngati ndagwa m'galimoto. Ndinkadziwa kumbuyo kwa mutu wanga kuti sindidzilola kuseweretsa maliseche pamavidiyo aliwonse ndipo sindinatero - koma ndimadziwa kuchuluka kwa ubongo wanga womwe umasowa zolaula nthawi zonse. M'malo mwake, inali kupezeka mopanda malire, inali yodabwitsa kwambiri. Dziko la cyberporn ndilopanda malire ndipo silingathe kuwongoleredwa. Ikhoza kumiza munthu woledzera. Ndikudziwa kuti ndikapitilirabe ndikudzilola kubwerera m'mbuyo powonera makanema ndikuchita maliseche ku maliseche, sindingathe kutuluka kuphompho lodziwika bwino lonyansa ndikukhumudwa mosavuta.
Ndizosangalatsa kuwona momwe zomwe ndidalemba kuyambira sabata yatha zidadzaza chiyembekezo komanso pafupifupi zazikulu, ngakhale, ndipo m'menemo ndidalemba kuti njira yobwezeretsanso ikukhudzana kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu mwanzeru. Ndikuganiza kuti sindiyenerabe luso limeneli. Komanso, pamene ndikulemba izi, ndikuzindikira kuti ukakhala wosuta, umakhala chizolowezi. Ndikumva ngati chidakwa ndikuyenda ndikamamwa mowa patatha zaka zambiri osadziletsa. Ndi momwe ndidapangidwira, ndipo ndiyenera kuzikumbukira moyo wanga wonse.
Ndikudziwa kuti ndidzakhala bwino ndikakhala ndi chizolowezi chokhazikika, koma ndawononga zochulukirapo ndikulimbikitsa oyang'anira mphotho yanga yakale - ndikulipira mtengo wake. Ndiyenera kuyang'anira kusinthasintha kwamaganizidwe ndikukhumba zolaula zambiri m'masiku angapo otsatira. Ndiyeneranso kupeza kena koti ndiganizirepo chifukwa ndidzamasulidwa pafupifupi mwezi wonse wa Juni. Ndikuganiza zolembetsa masana masewera a karate.
Ndikulingalira kuti nthawi zonse padzakhala zokhumudwitsa m'moyo - ndikufuna kuphunzira momwe ndingathanirane ndi mavuto anga osadzipweteka munthawi zovutazi.
Ndakali kulwana.
MLUNGU 12
Sindinalembe chifukwa sindingathe kulemba momasuka pantchito yanga yatsopano ndipo ndakhala ndikutanganidwa - komanso chifukwa ndakhala ndikubwereranso nthawi zina ndipo sindimatha kudzakumana ndi izi pano. Sindinasangalalepo koma ndakhala ndikuwonera zolaula komanso kuseweretsa maliseche kumapeto kwa sabata.
Ndinali ndi nthawi zovuta komanso zokhumudwitsa ndi amayi anga tsiku lomwelo ndisanapite kuntchito, zomwe zidawonjezera nkhawa zomwe zidalipo kale. Sabata ino ndikubwerayi ndili mgulu la maphunziro ndipo ndimadana kwambiri ndi chilengedwe - ndimawona ngati sindine wa kumeneko… Mwamwayi ntchito yanga yeniyeni imayambira kwina koma ndakhala wopanda nkhawa komanso wamanjenje .
Ndidayamba kuyang'ana masamba azibwenzi ochulukirapo ndipo pamapeto pake ndidayamba kuwonera makanema olaula pa intaneti - nthawi ina sabata yatha - ndayiwala liti. Ndidali ndikukonzekera zambiri kuchokera pakuda nkhawa komanso Ndimasangalatsidwa kwambiri ndi momwe NDIMAPHUNZITSIRA. Zakhala zovuta kunyalanyaza. Ndikutanthauza, zosankha zanga ndi ROCK HARD komanso ENORMOUS. Ndimakumbukira ndikufunsa anyamata ena pano omwe adanditsogolera za nthawi yomwe adawona kubwerera kwawo kwathunthu - ndikuganiza kuti ndabwezeretsanso.
Kenako Loweruka lidafika - linali tsiku lodabwitsa kwambiri. Ndinayesedwa masewera a karati ndipo ndinakwera, zomwe ndakhala ndikugwira chaka chatha - kwa ine, chinali chimaliziro ndi zipatso zodzipereka kwanga. Zinamva bwino. Ndinatuluka thukuta ndipo ndinakhala ndi masana aulele pambuyo pake kotero ndinapita kusamba lapagulu ndipo ndinakumana ndi mnyamata wabwino. Iye ndi ine tinakhala ngati tinagunda ndipo tinapita kukadya chakudya chamadzulo kenako zakumwa. Adanditengera kozungulira mipiringidzo yosiyanasiyana. NDINALI wodziwika kwambiri kulikonse komwe ndimapita. Ndidamaliza kumwa mowa kuposa momwe ndimafunira koma zinali zosangalatsa. Ndiye popita kunyumba - chabwino, sindikufuna kudziwa zambiri, koma popita kunyumba ndinachita china chake chomwe chikanandibweretsera mavuto ambiri. Palibe chomwe chidachitika koma ndiyenera kuchita nawo manyazi. Ndinaganiza kuti chinali chizindikiro cha kusakhulupirika kwanga.
Komabe, ngakhale ndinali wotchuka kwambiri, sindinapite kunyumba kapena kupita ndi aliyense - ndinakhalabe wokhumudwa kwambiri, tsiku lotsatira sindinathe kusiya kuonera zolaula pa intaneti ndikuchita maliseche ndikukonzekera. Kenako ndinalandira poyizoni wa chakudya, zomwe mwanjira inayake zinandipangitsa kuganiza kuti ndikulangidwa chifukwa cha zochita zonse zopotoka. Kumbali inayi, amayi anga ndi ine tinapanga kumapeto kwa sabata - ndipo mwamwayi sabata yanga yopenga inali itatha.
Ndakhala ndikuganiza momwe kupsinjika kwanditsogolere ku zizolowezi zanga zakale - koma ili ndiye gawo lomwe ndimafunikira kusangalala nalo. Kubwezeretsanso mpaka pano kudakhala kophweka kwambiri kwa ine chifukwa moyo wanga ndisanasinthe ntchito sikunali wovuta konse. Kenako ndinakumbukira mzerewu kuchokera mu kanema "The Contender", womwe ndikufuna kugawana nanu:
"Mfundo zazikuluzikulu zimangotanthauza kanthu mukamazitsatira zikavuta."
Moyo ndi wopanikiza - nanga bwanji ?! Tiyeni tibwerere komwe ndidayambira - cholinga chake ndi chophweka. Yankho lake ndi losavuta. Ndipo ndipitilizabe kutsatira mfundo zanga zoyambirira: POPANDA PMO.
MLUNGU 13
Inde, sichinali cholinga changa kukhala ogonana ndi moyo wanga wonse. Posachedwa ndakhala ndimagawo pomwe ndimangokhalira kukonza ndikamaonera zolaula. Ndayamba kuyimitsidwa pang'ono pamitima ndi kuntchito - ngakhale ndizoseketsa komanso zonse, ndakhala ndikumverera ngati wamisala wogonana pafupifupi mpaka wopotoza, sizimasangalatsa. Gary akuganiza, ndipo ndiyenera kuvomereza, kuti yakwana nthawi yoti ndibwezeretsenso maliseche ndi maliseche kuti ndikhale ndi libido yoyenera.
MLUNGU 14
Sooooooo, ndimalola kuti ndikhale wokondwerera Loweruka lapitali - Tsiku 90. (wopanda zolaula, kumene)
Sizinamveke ngati chinthu chachikulu - inde, ndinabwera molimbika, koma sizinali ngati dziko lonse lapansi litasandulika kapena chilichonse, monga momwe ndimaganizira. Ndinadziseweretsa maliseche kachiwiri ndipo ndinabweranso patatha maola angapo kuchokera koyambirira, koma zinali zomwezo - sindinatengere zambiri.
Kuyambira pamenepo, ndakhala ndikuwona zabwino. Mutu wanga ndi wowonekera bwino ndipo ndimamva bata. Sindikumva kuti ndikugonana tsopano ndipo ndikuwoneka kuti ndimatha kuyang'ana kwambiri pantchito. Ndani adadziwa?!
Ponena za nthawi yodziseweretsa maliseche, ndimaganiza sabata iliyonse - tiwona.
tsiku 94
Zikomo chifukwa cha ndemanga, anyamata. Ndine wokondwa kuti nditha kukhala wolimbikitsa koma ndikufuna kunena kuti ngakhale sindidzakhazikitsanso masiku anga, sindinakhalepo * wopanda zolaula komanso maliseche. Pakhala masiku angapo pomwe ndimayang'ana zolaula pa intaneti komanso kuseweretsa maliseche. Ndinalibe chiwerewere ndipo ndimangokhalira kusintha, zomwe ndi zoyipa ngati kubwereranso kwathunthu, ngati sikukuipiraipira.
Ndili wokondwa, komabe, kuti ndakhazikitsa cholinga changa kukhala masiku a 140, chifukwa tsopano ndikulola kuti ndiphatikizenso kubwezeretsa kuzungulira kwamasewera olimbitsa thupi ngati gawo loyambiranso.
Komabe, ndangoyamba ntchito yanga yatsopano (masabata apitawa a 2 akhala akungophunzitsa) lero ndipo ndiyabwino kwambiri komanso yolemetsa. Popeza ndakhala ndikuseweretsa maliseche sabata yatha, nanga bwanji pantchito yatsopanoyi, ndikumva ngati malingaliro anga sanasokonezedwe ndi kukhumudwa pakugonana - ndimamva ngati ndadutsa vuto lina pothana ndi mphamvu zakugonana zomwe ndakhala ndikulimbana nazo masabata angapo apitawa.
Ndakhala ndikuwerenga za ziphunzitso za Buddha ndipo zakhala zikutsimikiziranso mafotokozedwe onse asayansi okhudza dopamine ndi zonse zomwe ndaphunzira pano mpaka pano - bwanji kuti ndibwino kusakwaniritsa zokhumba zanu, ndi zina zambiri…
Ndimakonda kuti zomwe ndaphunzira kuchokera ku sayansi zimayendera limodzi ndi uzimu.
MLUNGU 15
Nditayamba kuseweretsa maliseche milungu iwiri yapitayo ndidati ndikhazikitsa ndandanda kamodzi sabata iliyonse. Koma ndakhala ndi maliseche kumapeto kwa sabata yatha komanso sabata yatha. Ndimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi momwe mphamvu zanga zogonana zimakhalira mkati mwa sabata ndipo pofika Lachisanu ndimayamba kumverera mwamunthu kwambiri, chifukwa chake ndikuganiza kuti kamodzi sabata iliyonse ndili ndi thanzi lokwanira - momwemonso ndimamverera ngati ndikumasula Mavuto azakugonana mwa ine atangoyamba kukhala osalamulirika. Izi zikunenedwa, ndakhala ndikuchita izi kumapeto kwa sabata yatha. Makamaka sabata ino… .ndinakhala wamisala pang'ono.
Chifukwa chake, sabata yapitayi kapena apo, ndakhala ndi zochitika zambiri zogonana / zachikondi / zogonana ndi anyamata - m'modzi makamaka ndimakonda koma amakhala kutali. Ndizowoneka tsopano dziko lapansi likhoza kunena kuti ndakonzeka kukumana ndi anthu. Ndipo zidamveka ngati chilichonse chikuchitika nthawi yomweyo - ntchitoyi inali yovuta kwambiri sabata yatha komanso kunja kwa ntchito, ndimakumana ndi anthu kumanzere ndi kumanja. Chifukwa chake nditafika kumapeto a sabata ino, ndimangodzilola kupita, ndikuganiza. Choyamba ndimachita maliseche Loweruka m'mawa, zomwe zimawoneka ngati chinthu chachilengedwe kuchita. Ndimamva ngati ndili ndi makinawa tsopano.
Koma kenako ndinapita kukachita masewera andewu omwe ndinapeza kuti anali atasinthidwa choncho panjira pobwerera kunyumba ndidayimilira pafupi ndi bwaloli lochita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndipo ndidayendetsa maliseche ndi anyamata awiri pamenepo. Kenako ndidatuluka kupita kumalo opatsirana gay. Ndinali wamisala nditachoka ku bar ndikumaliza kupita kokacheza, komwe ndinachita zoseweretsa maliseche ndi munthu wina. Ndidachita mantha kwambiri panthawiyi, ndipo ndidathawira kunyumba.
TSOPANO, ndinali nditaledzerabe nditafika kunyumba ndikugwiranso nthochi nthawi ino ndi zolaula pamphindi kwa mphindi zochepa kuti ndidzale.
Ndikumva ngati ndiyenera kuleka kulemba chifukwa zikundipangitsa kufuna kuseweretsanso maliseche - koma ndiyenera kunena kuti ndikuyesabe kupeza njira yoyenera yololeza kuti ndizigonana komanso kuti ndisapite kokopa ndi libido yanga. Kukumana ndi anyamata mkati mwa sabata kunali kwabwino. Kupita ku malo ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kunali kovomerezeka. Kusamba pagulu, osati zochuluka. Gulu lachiwerewere, ayi ayi. Ndipo kusadziwa nthawi yomwe ndimayamba kuthamangitsa chilakolako changa ndikuyamba kuseweretsa maliseche kunali kopusa. Ndiyeneranso kudziyang'anira ndekha ndikamamwa inenso.
Sabata ikangoyamba - ntchito imagwira ndipo ndimayiwala zonsezi - ndikuganiza chifukwa cha izi, ndiyenera kusamala kumapeto kwa sabata. Ndilibe nthawi komanso mphamvu kuti ndidzivutitse ndekha pazomwe ndidachita sabata ino - ndizomwe zinali. Ndikugwedeza. Monga Gary adatchulira milungu ingapo yapitayo, kukhala ndi chizolowezi chobwezera panthawi yobwezeretsanso kunali kosavuta kuposa kukhala ndi zikhalidwe zogonana m'moyo wanga tsopano. Kusamala ndiye cholinga.
by A10
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