Ndinkalimbana ndi zolaula komanso zovuta zake kwazaka zambiri. Ngakhale sizinachitike mpaka posachedwa pomwe ndimadziŵa momwe kuledzera kwanga kudaliri koopsa komanso momwe zidandikhudzira. Sindinganene mwatsatanetsatane za zolaula zanga komanso zolaula chifukwa nonse mumadziwa momwe zimagwirira ntchito. Ndikuganiza kuti ambiri a inu muli ndi mavuto ofanana kapena ofanana.
Ndilinso ndimavuto a mowa, chamba, amfetamine ndi masewera apakompyuta. Zonsezi zimagwira ntchito chimodzimodzi monga zolaula, ndipo zimapatsanso zotsatira zoyipa zofananira.
Tsopano, ndinayesa njira zosiyanasiyana kuti ndisiye zizolowezi zanga zosiyanasiyana. Njira zambiri zomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito popanga mphamvu zanga ngati chida choyambirira chothanirana ndi zokhumba ndikukhala "oganiza bwino". Ndinayesanso mapulogalamu a 12-monga AA, NA ndi SLAA, kuwona ma psychologist ndikugwiritsa ntchito mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya SSRI (antidepressants). Mosakayikira sizinandithandizire.
Ndikudziwa kuti pali malingaliro ndi njira zosiyanasiyana patsamba lino ndipo ndikuwonanso kuti ambiri a inu mwapindula ndikupeza zotsatira zabwino powagwiritsa ntchito. Izi ndizabwino kwambiri. Ngati zikukuthandizani, sungani! Musawone izi ngati zotsutsa motsutsana ndi njira ina iliyonse chifukwa siizo. Komabe pali anthu ena omwe sangathe kuchita izi ndi njirazi. Ndinali m'modzi wawo ndipo zowonadi zimakhumudwitsa kwambiri kulephera kuyeserera kwanga mobwerezabwereza, sabata ndi sabata, mwezi ndi mwezi, chaka ndi chaka. Zinkawoneka kuti zilibe kanthu kuti ndimagwiritsa ntchito njira yanji. Zolimbikitsazo zinali zolimba ndipo sindinathe ngakhale sabata limodzi ndisanabwererenso. Nthawi zambiri ndimatha kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula, mowa komanso mankhwala osokoneza bongo nthawi yomweyo ndipo ndimakhala ndikudya kwa milungu ingapo. Nkhani zopambana pa tsambali sizinakhudze ine. Amandipangitsa kuti ndikhumudwitsidwe kwambiri popeza mayankho omwe amandipatsa sanandigwire.
Ndiye tichite chiyani ndiye? Ndinayenera kuganizira mozama za izi, zomwe ndizovuta mokwanira ndi malingaliro ndi nkhawa zonsezo. Zinkawoneka kwa ine kuti ndiyenera kuthana ndi vutoli mwanjira ina. Sindingathe kungosiya, ndinali nditatsimikizira kuti kwa ine komanso zolephera zimandipangitsa kumva kukhala womvetsa chisoni kwambiri. Zinkawoneka kuti ndilibe mphamvu zofunika. Ndiye mwina ndiye chinali chinthucho pamenepo? Sindingathe kusiya, popeza ndilibe mphamvu yochitira izi, koma kodi ndingapeze njira yolimbikitsira malingaliro anga ndikulimbikitsanso kuti ndikwaniritse moyo wanga? Zikuwoneka kuti ndikanatha.
Kuyambira ndili wachichepere ndimakonda kusinkhasinkha komanso nzeru zakum'mawa ndipo pafupifupi zaka ziwiri zapitazo ndidakhala ndi mwayi woyesa zazen, yomwe ndi njira ya buddhist ya Zen ya kusinkhasinkha. Tsopano, inu Akhristu kunja uko, musachite mantha ndi izi. Palibe kutsutsana pakati pa anyamata anu ndi Zen buddhism. M'malo mwake pali nthambi yonse ya Zen yomwe yasinthidwa kukhala akhristu (ndipo ina ndi ya osakhulupirira kuti kuli Mulungu, Asilamu ndi ena otero), ndipo malingaliro a Zen siopembedza. Zen ndi wokongola motero. Sichipatula aliyense.
Zazen
Za amatanthauza kukhala pansi ndipo Zen amatanthauza kusinkhasinkha, ndipo ndizomwe zimachitika. Khalani pansi. Njirayi ndiyosavuta, ndipo nthawi yomweyo imakhala yovuta. Kuyika m'mawu osavuta: Cholinga choyamba cha zazen ndikuphunzira momwe mungakhazikitsire malingaliro anu kuti musakhalenso akapolo a malingaliro anu ndi zokopa zanu. Mukulimbitsa pang'onopang'ono mphamvu yanu yamaganizidwe pochita zazen pafupipafupi ndipo mwakutero mavuto anu amtsiku ndi tsiku adzangosowa ndipo mudzakhala achimwemwe mopitilira muyeso. Cholinga chazitali cha zazen ndi Zen ndikufikira satori zomwe zikutanthauza kuunikiridwa. Apa ndipamene zenizeni mumatha kuwonekera ndikukhala momwe mulili, chomwe ndi chimodzi ndi chilichonse chokuzungulirani.
Sindikusokonezaninso ndi tsatanetsatane wamomwe mungapangire zazen tsopano popeza ndizovuta kufotokoza, mosavutikira konse, koma ndikhala wokondwa kukupatsani zambiri ngati pali chidwi pakati pa anthu ammudzimo.
Zotsatira zomwe ndapeza pakupanga zazen pafupifupi mphindi 20-30 tsiku lililonse kwa miyezi ingapo ndizabwino kwambiri. Osamvetsetsa, zazen si matsenga. Palibe chodabwitsa kapena chachilendo chomwe chidzachitike. Sipadzakhala zochitika zakuthupi, maulendo a astral ndipo simudzalandira mphamvu zoposa zilizonse. Zomwe ndingakulonjezeni komabe ndikuti muphunzira kuwongolera "malingaliro anu anyani" ndikuti mupeza mtendere wamkati. Mtendere wamkatiwu ndichinthu chodabwitsa kwambiri. Kuda nkhawa kwanga kwatha ndipo sindikulakalakanso kuyang'ana zolaula, mastrubate, kumwa kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Ndimamasuka ndipo ndimamva ngati ndili ndi moyo koyamba m'moyo wanga.
Zotsatira zabwinozi sizinabwere nthawi imodzi. Kuphunzira momwe mungapangire zazen kumatenga nthawi. Koma kwa ine zidagwira bwino ntchito chifukwa sindimayenera kuyang'ana chilichonse. Ndinkangofunika kuyang'ana momwe ndingapangire zazen. Ndi malingaliro abwino, m'malo moyipa.
Izi ndi zomwe ndimafuna kunena.
"Mukupitiliza kuchita izi, sabata ndi sabata, chaka ndi chaka, luso lanu lidzakulirakulira, ndipo luso lanu lidzakwaniritsa zonse zomwe mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku. Chofunikira kwambiri ndikuyiwala malingaliro, malingaliro onse awiri. Mwanjira ina, ingoyesezani zazen mumayendedwe ena. Osaganizira chilichonse. Ingokhala pa khutu lanu osayembekezera chilichonse. Kenako pamapeto pake mudzayambiranso mkhalidwe wanu weniweni. Ndiye kuti, zenizeni zenizeni zimadziwikiratu. ” - Shunryu Suzuki, mbuye wa Zen
Njira ya Zazen
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