Moni nonse - chonde nditha kugawana nanu nkhani yanga.
Ndinayamba kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pazaka za 13-14. Kwenikweni ndinapeza chithunzi cha Kugwiririra mu "The Evil Dead." zolaula kwambiri! Ndinapitiliza kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kwazaka zopitilira 20.
Poyamba ndimagula makaseti a kanema (VHS) ndi magazini. Intaneti itabwera ndidapeza kuti ndimawononga ndalama zochepa zolaula, ndipo mwanjira ndiyomwe idakhala yocheperako ndikuvutikira kwa omwe ali mu zolaula popeza sindimapereka ngakhale ndalama. Kusintha kamodzi komwe ndinapeza ndikusamukira ku intaneti zolaula poyamba kunali kukhumudwa kwambiri. Kukhumudwa pa liwiro pang'onopang'ono pa intaneti, Kwa otsika kwambiri, makanema azisinthidwe ndi zazifupi.
Kugonana kwanga komwe kumazolowera zolaula zamtunduwu, ndidazindikira kuti ndiyenera kukhala wankhanza kwambiri kumaliseche kuti ndikhale ndi umuna. Zowonjezera "zolaula zamaganizidwe" monga "mbama losangalala" kapena "kink", "Meatholes" zidakhala zolaula zomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito.
Chinthu chimodzi chimene ndinayamba kuzindikira mobwerezabwereza chinali momwe zilili zolaula. Ndidalimbikitsidwa kuphunzira za ukazi ndipo ndinapeza kuti ndikusangalala ndi "akazi okhalitsa." Ndidapeza zokambirana za Andrea Dworkin kuti nawonso azikhala ndi vuto lolaula. Koma m'malo mofuna kundipanga ukapolo, ndikugwada patsogolo pa chinsalu ndi buluku langa m'miyendo mwanga. Zolankhula zake monga "Silent means dissidence" adandifunsa kuti "dzuka" ndikhale ndi chidwi chilichonse chofuna kukhala!
Nthawi zomwe ndidapeza ndikugwiritsa ntchito zolaula nthawi imeneyi, zinali pamene ndinali ndekha. Mkazi wanga watuluka. Nthawi zina kufunafuna chikondi mwa ena. Ndinkakhala moyo wopatsa thanzi. Pokhapokha kumwa mowa, ndi kumasulidwa kwa cum kuti ayembekezere.
Kusintha kwina kwakukulu kwa ine ndikumwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo a LSD. Ndinapezeka ndikuganiza mozama kwambiri. Ndinaphunzira za "lalanje wotchi." pokhudzana ndi zolaula. Ndinaphunzira zambiri za "mwana wanga wamkati".
Mankhwala ena omwe anali ndi vuto lalikulu anali MDMA. Apa ndidapezeka kuti ndimalingalira mozama. Ndinali kuphunzira ndikupanga mtundu wamunthu womwe ndimafuna kukhala.
Ndinagwiritsa ntchito zolaula nthawi yayitali, kuzungulira 14th. Kuyambira pamenepo ndakhala ndita maliseche, (ndikusamba, ndichotentha ndikunyowa!) Koma maliseche sanatchulidwepo kale. wopanda mutu, kumangoletsa thupi langa pang'ono. Ndapeza kuti ngakhale zolaula zachepa. ankawoneka kuti amakopeka kwambiri ndi kukhumudwa kufuna kudzipanga ndekha.
Kugonana ndi mkazi wanga kwakhala kodabwitsa. Nthawi zambiri, komanso wocheperako pafupi za ine kufuna kudzipangitsa, koma kungokhala pafupi ndi iye. ndikakhala ndekha, ndimadzikonda. Ndimasilira thupi langa. Nthawi zina kumpsompsona manja anga. Mangani miyendo yanga mwachikondi komanso mwakugonana.
Pafupifupi masabata a 3 apitawa ndidazindikira za chachimuna chaumulungu, chachikazi. Chifukwa chake dzina langa la ogwiritsa ntchito. Izi zakhala zosangalatsa kwambiri kwa ine. Ndimakonda komwe ndili. Ndidapeza izi zisanachitike. Kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula nthawi zambiri kwanditengera nthawi kuti ndilowe. Nditatha kuzigwiritsa ntchito, ndimakhala ndikulakalaka nthawi ya 24. Ngati ndikadabwera 2 kapena 3 kangapo usiku umodzi tsiku lotsatira ndidzakhala wofunitsitsa kubwereza.
Tsopano ndikudziwa zachiwerewere paliponse pazofalitsa. koma si "achigololo" kwa ine. Kuwona mkazi wanga akusangalala! Ndikupeza kuti nditha kuyang'ana amuna ndi akazi ena omwe ali ndi maso osagonana komanso achikondi. Osati okwatirana nawo, kapena okhoza kundipatsa chisangalalo chogonana, koma monga anthu. Yemwe onga ine atha kukhala ndi chilengedwe, chisangalalo chaumulungu cha moyo.
Zikomo nonse chifukwa chowerenga!
NDI - divinemasculine