Uwu ukhala malo ataliatali pomwe ndiziwononga zomwe ndakumana nazo ndi nofap, ndikupereka malingaliro anga motsogozedwa ndi gulu la nofap, malingaliro anga pa zolaula ndi kugonana, ndi china chilichonse chomwe chimabwera m'maganizo. Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndi njira yothandiza komanso yopatsa chidwi kwa inu omwe mwasankha kuwerenga positi yanga.
Ndinadziuza ndekha kumayambiriro ngati nditafika masiku 90 ndikadalemba chonchi ndipo ndili pano. Izi zikupita…
Sindikukhulupirira kuti ndidachita. Masiku 90 a nofap. Ndakhala gawo la nofap masiku 270 ndipo ndakhala ndikuyesetsa kuti ndisapezeke mozungulira 230 masiku amenewo (mu Seputembala ndidaponya nofap pazenera ndikuyesera kuseweretsa maliseche moyang'aniridwa, koma pambuyo pake). Manambala okwanira, ndibwerereni koyambirira kwa ulendowu masiku 270 apitawa.
Ndinayamba ulendo wanga wa nofap mozungulira Epulo 3rd. Ndinawona zokambirana za TEDX ndipo ndinachita chidwi. Sindinaigule nthawi yomweyo ndikusanthula reedit ya nofap. Kalelo kunali owongolera pafupifupi 10,000 ndipo ulusi ndi ndemanga zake zinali zabwino kwambiri. Ndinaganiza zoyesa. Ndinali nditangoseweretsa maliseche kangapo patsiku ndikudzifunsa kuti "ndichifukwa chiyani ndikuchita izi, sikumvekanso kukhala bwino" ndipo ndidaganiza zoyesa nofap. Ndikakumbukiranso ndidalowa zomwe tidatcha kuti "mode yovuta". Kalelo ndimangokhala pachibwenzi ndi atsikana ochepa komanso ochepa (zachiwerewere koma osati ubale). Zinali zaka pafupifupi 2 kuyambira nthawi yanga yomaliza ngakhale kukhudza mtsikana. Kuchita maliseche ndiye njira yanga yokhayo yogonana. Ndimalankhulabe ndi m'modzi mwa okondedwa anga akale ndipo ndikadanena kuti tidayamba chibwenzi.
M'mbuyomu ndimaganizira zolaula komanso maliseche. Ndinali nditawonapo "ubongo wanu pa zolaula" zaka zapitazo ndipo sindinadutsepo nazo. Ndinazindikira zolaula komanso maliseche padera ndipo sindikukumbukira kwenikweni nditaziyika pamodzi. Ndikukhulupirira kuti ndinayamba kuona zolaula kunyumba kwa anzanga usiku. Zinthu zina zofewa pa cinemax. Ndinayamba kudzipweteka mosazindikira koma panthawiyi ndinali ndisanathe msinkhu. Pamapeto pake ndinadzipeza ndikudzipukusa ndimasewera "ovula" m'malo atsopano. Izi zanditsogolera kuti ndipeze zolaula zotsika kwambiri pa intaneti ndipo tsiku lina ndidadzidzimutsa mwangozi ndikudziwopa (popeza sindikudziwa zomwe zidachitika). Ichi chinali chiyambi cha zizolowezi zanga ndipo sindinakhalepo ndi chibwenzi changa choyamba ku koleji pomwe ndinayankhula momasuka kwa aliyense za maliseche. Sindinalankhule ndi aliyense za izi. Ndinkachita maliseche pakati pa 1 ndi 7 nthawi patsiku, tsiku lililonse. Kawirikawiri ndimatenga tsiku limodzi. Nditangoyamba kumene kukoleji ndidadzipangira ndekha kuti ndisawonere zolaula pa laputopu yanga (kuti ndipewe mavairasi komanso kuti ndizisunga "zoyera"). Ndinkapita kunyumba pafupifupi kumapeto kwa sabata iliyonse ndikundipatsa zolaula za 4 kapena 5 masiku omwe ndimayembekezera. Koma mmalo mopanga anzanga atsopano, kukumana ndi anthu, kusangalala ndi koleji ndinadziphunzitsa ndekha kuseweretsa maliseche popanda zolaula kwa atsikana amalingaliro akale. Makamaka mtsikana m'modzi.
Pamene ndinali wamkulu pasukulu yasekondale ndidakumana ndi mtsikana yemwe adakhala msungwana wanga "wosabereka". Tinali abwenzi koma umunthu wathu sunapite limodzi. Mwakuthupi, panthawiyo, ndinali ndisanakumaneko ndi aliyense wokongola (ma boobs akulu kwambiri komanso owonda). Anakhala msungwana woyamba yemwe ndimamudziwa ndimunthu yemwe ndimasewera maliseche. Mwinanso ndataya umuna kwambiri pamalingaliro atsikanawa kuposa wina aliyense weniweni kapena zolaula. Ndipo gawo lomvetsa chisoni ndiloti ndimawopa kuyesayesa kukhala naye paubwenzi ndipo tsopano kwachedwa, sitilinso abwenzi. Kuthetsa ubale ndi msungwana wonyengayu m'mutu mwanga kungakhale chimodzi mwa zolinga zanga zazikulu za nofap. Nditchula kuti mchaka changa kuyambira kusekondale ndakumana ndi atsikana omwe anali okongola kwambiri kuposa msungwana wachinyamatayu, ndimakwanitsa kucheza ndi m'modzi mwa iwo, koma nthawi zonse ndimangobwerera kwa msungwanayu mumakhalidwe anga onyansa. Ndinayesa kumuchotsa pamutu panga nofap koma sindinathe. Chiyambireni nofap ndatha kuthetsa mgwirizano wabodza ndipo ndilibe chidwi chobwerera kudziko lokongolalo.
Kotero izo zimabweretsa ku nofap. Ndinapita masiku 37 ndisanagwe. Kenako ndinayamba kupita masiku 10 nthawi imodzi, kenako 9, 8, 7 ndisanayambenso kuseweretsa maliseche tsiku lililonse. Sindingathe kupitilira masiku 13 ndikupita masiku angapo oyipa ndipo sindinakhalepo ndi mwayi ndi azimayi omwe ndidagwa mu Seputembala ndikuchita maliseche ngati zachilendo. Sindinali wolimba pakusaka kwanga ndipo ndimayesetsa kuti ndisachite maliseche kwa nthawi yayitali nditatero. Pambuyo pake ndidapeza Okutobala 1st ndikudziyankhulira ndekha, osatinso. Maliseche sanamve bwino komanso moona mtima ngakhale atakhala kuti "opambana" onse ndiopanda phindu, ndimapeza mphindi 30 zomwe ndakhala ndikugwiritsa ntchito tsiku lina kuti ndigwiritse ntchito zina. Kuyambira pamenepo sindinachite maliseche masiku 90. Zinthu zambiri zasintha ndipo ndimakhulupirira maulamuliro apamwamba a nofap koma osati momwe anthu ambiri pano amawathandizira (sangasinthe moyo wanu).
Kumayambiriro komweko (kumbuyo kwa Epulo) ndidapeza mphamvu yayikulu ndipo ndinakhala wopambana komanso woganiza mtsogolo. Anga ndi ine tidasiya kuyankhula. Ndinayamba kusintha malingaliro anga kukhala pachibwenzi. Luso langa pankhani zamasewera linasintha. Ndinakhala wamphamvu, wachangu komanso wanzeru (Ndine wothamanga ndipo nthawi zanga zimawonjezeka makamaka mu Epulo). Kuyambira tsopano ndakopeka ndi atsikana. Ndine wolankhula komanso wogalamuka. Ndine wojambula ndipo ndimamvetsetsa kwambiri za kudzoza kwanga zikafika kuntchito yanga, tsopano ndimakhala ndi kulimbikitsidwa kwatsopano ndikamalankhula ndi azimayi okongola.
Ndayesera dzanja langa kukumana ndi akazi m'njira zomwe sindimaganiza kuti ndingayesenso. Ndakhala ndikupita kumabala, maphwando komanso kuchita zibwenzi pa intaneti. Ndakumanapo ndi azimayi kudzera munjira zonsezi ndipo ndakhala ndimadeti angapo. Ndapsompsona msungwana wanga woyamba m'zaka 2 ndikugona naye (ndimagona pabedi limodzi, sindinagonepo, ndiyenera kudziwa wina kwa miyezi ingapo ndisanachite izi). Mukandiuza mu Epulo kuti ndikhala pafupi ndi winawake mu Kugwa ndikadaganiza kuti mukuseka.
Sindikuganiza kuti zolaula ndizolakwika. Ndikuganiza kuti anyamata oyipa ngati ife adaleredwa kuti azikhulupirira kuti kuseweretsa maliseche ndizachilengedwe pomwe sichoncho. Kutha kuseweretsa maliseche kwa amayi aliwonse omwe mukufuna siwachilengedwe. Ndikumva kuti anyamata ena amatha kuthana nazo ndipo ayenera kuti ali ndi zolaula zomwe zilipo koma osati ine. Sindikuganiza kuti kuseweretsa maliseche ndi koipa. Ndatha kuwona zinthu zolaula za "zolaula" m'masiku 90 apitawa (monga zojambula kuchokera ku A Clockwork Orange) osatsegulidwa. Ndawona akazi mosiyana ndipo ndimawona mawonekedwe achikazi mosiyana. Kugonana kwa ine kwasintha ndipo ndimakopeka kwambiri ndi akazi enieni. Mwinanso ndidayambiranso.
Nditayamba nofap ndemanga zonse zinali zabwino komanso zothandiza. Nthawi zonse panali ndemanga imodzi patsamba lililonse ndipo nthawi zonse inali yolimbikitsa tsopano. Nofap kuyambira pamenepo anali atatchuka kwambiri. Ma meme akangowonekera pa subreddit iyi ndinasiya kubwera kuno pafupipafupi. Posakhalitsa malingaliro opusa adayamba. Chipembedzo chidayamba kuwonekera ndipo ndi njira yodziwikiratu ndipo masewera aposachedwa ndi zochitika zina za "kuseweretsa maliseche". Sindikugwirizana ndi mabungwe azipembedzo ndipo sindimakhulupirira mulungu koma sindikukhulupirira kuti subreddit iyi ndi malo oti mukangane. Ndiwo malo othandizira. Nofap ndi yokhudza kuseweretsa maliseche, sindikuganiza kuti masewera apakanema ali ndi malo pano. Inde ndizotheka kukhala osokoneza masewera koma sizosiyana ndi zochitika zina zilizonse zomwe mungachite. Kukula kwakhudza zochitika zathu zonse zogonana, malingaliro athu, ndipo nthawi zina kuthekera kwathu kuti tipeze zosankha. Ah zilizonse, zomwe ndinganene ndikuti ndine wokondwa kuti nofap yakhala ikutsatira kwambiri m'masiku 270 apitawa koma sindimakonda mtundu wazomwe zakhala zikuwoneka pafupipafupi ndipo ndikuopa zamtsogolo.
Pazonse zomwe ndinganene kuti nofap yakhala malingaliro osangalatsa m'moyo wanga. Sindilankhula za wina aliyense, ndimayendedwe anga (Ndinazinena kwa msungwana wokhala pabedi ndipo adadzidzimuka kuti ndapita masiku a 60 popanda wanking). Onse anganene kuti zikomo kwambiri ndi anthu ammudzi komanso kanema wa TEDX. Zinasintha moyo wanga ndipo ndikutha kuona ngati ndikusintha mtsogolo. Sinthani zabwinoko.
Panali chinthu chimodzi chomwe ndidapanga ndekha chokhudzana ndi nofap ngati ndikanafika masiku 90, ndikuti sindingayendere subreddit. Nditha kupitilirabe ndikulemba kapena ndingowona manambala anga. Sindikukonzekera kubunyalanso. Ngati ndikayambiranso zizolowezi zanga zakale ndikudziwa kuti adzandilandiranso kuno. Ngati tsambali silikupezeka pakubwereranso ndimatha kubwerera pazomwe nofap yandiphunzitsa. Kudzigwira. Khama. Ndi kuyesetsa kukwaniritsa cholinga chosatheka. Ndikulingalira ndizo zonse zomwe ndinganene pakadali pano.
Tsoka, abale!
KULUMIKIZANA - Masiku a 90. Ndazichita. Ndilibwino. Zikomo nofap!
by adakumana
PEZANI
Ndinayendayenda masiku 130 osatha koma pafupifupi mwezi umodzi wapitawo ndinabwereranso. Ndikubwerera ku nofap chifukwa chiwerewere changa chabwereranso kuzikhalidwe zisanachitike. Ndinali kudziuza kuti ndisiya koma sindinatero. Ndakhala ndikuonera zolaula ndipo ndazindikira kuti ndimakhala nthawi yayitali ndikufufuza zinthu ndikukhala ndi magawo angapo patsiku. Ndidayenda koyambirira ngakhale sindimamva kwenikweni. Gawo la fap ngati limenelo ndi lomwe lidandilimbikitsa kuti ndipite masiku 90+, ndiyembekeza gawo lomwe ndidali nalo kale lindithandizanso.
Popeza nofap inali chizolowezi changa, nchiyani chinandipangitsa kusiya zizolowezi zanga zatsopano? Ndiloleni ndikuuzeni zomwe zidzandichititse kutha mosalephera… .. (nkhani yayitali ili ndi mathero osangalatsa)
Mzere wanga unkawoneka bwino. Ndinayamba kucheza ndi wina koma chibwenzicho sichinathe (zomwe zimapangidwira koyamba sizinathe, zimachitika, ndinali ndi chisoni pang'ono koma ndinapitiliza) ndikupitiliza kukumana ndi anthu ambiri. Pambuyo pake ndinakhala pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana yemwe ndinamumenya. Tsiku lathu linayenda bwino kwambiri, ngakhale ena atangobisalira paki. Ntchito yathu yomaliza usiku inali kuwona ziwonetsero zosayenera. Kanemayo adatha, tidakwera (komwe kunali bala) ndipo adandiuza kuti ayenera kupita kubafa. Chifukwa chake ndidadikira pafupi ndi potuluka. Ndipo ndinadikirabe. Ndipo kudikira. Mphindi 30 zidadutsa ndipo sanabwerere. Sanayankhenso zolemba zanga. Poyamba ndimaganiza kuti china chake chachitika. Pafupi kudikirira kwa mphindi 45 ndisanamve kuchokera kwa iye. Anandiuza (m'malemba) amaganiza kuti ndanyamuka ndipo anyamuka. Ndidaponyedwa pansi (ndili mumzinda, motero kuyenda ndikosavuta popanda magalimoto). Kinda adaphulitsa malingaliro anga, ndimaganiza kuti tsikulo lidayenda bwino, bwanji angachite izi? Anali ndi mafotokozedwe ake (zambiri zomwe zimabwerera kudeti lomveka bwino koma osapereka zifukwa zake). Adanditumiziranso mameseji tsiku lotsatira, ngati kutulutsa kwake sikunachitike. Zonsezi zidandisiya nditasokonezeka. Ndikuganiza ngati atandigwetsa ndipo osandilankhulanso sizikhala bwino, ndiye kuti nditha kuvomereza ulesiwo ndikupitirira. Koma kunena zowona, mbali zonse za tsikuli zidayenda bwino m'buku langa kupatula kumapeto. Ndinkakopeka ndi mtsikanayo ndipo malingaliro anga samawonetsa china koma mbendera zofiira. Malingaliro anga, atasokonezeka kwambiri, pomalizira pake adagonjetsedwa ndi lingaliro loti ndikhale kuti ndithetse malingaliro anga. Fap ndikumuganizira kuti amugonjetse, chinyengo changa chakale kuchokera ku koleji (chomwe sichinagwirepo ntchito). Ndinadziuza ndekha kamodzi koma ndimangokhalapo "kamodzi" kangapo patsiku.
Chodabwitsa ndichakuti, ndimayankhulabe naye nthawi zina (nthawi zonse amayambitsa zolemba kapena kuyimba foni). Sindikonzekera kuti ndidzamuwonanenso ndipo kunena zowona sindimakonzekera kuyankhulanso naye koma amapitiliza. Ndangosokonezedwa ndimakhalidwe ake.
Komabe, kuyambira zochitikazo, ndagwa pang'onopang'ono. Pamaso pangalemba tsiku la 130 ndinali ndi mwezi wowongoka koma ndimangopitilira chimodzimodzi (zolaula zomwezo). Koma nthawi ino, ndimachita izi koma ndidayamba kutuluka ndikuwonanso zolaula zina. Ine sindinayambe nkhunda mu zinthu zomwe zinali zatsopano kwa ine ndimakhala nkhunda zakuya kwambiri kuposa momwe ndakhalira nthawi yayitali. Maganizo anga makamaka akhala, sindipeza mwayi wopeza. Ndinasiya nofap ndikupeza msungwana yemwe anali woyenera nthawi yanga.
Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani ndabwerera ku nofap patatha mwezi umodzi ndikukula? Ndimamva bwino nthawi ya nofap kuposa momwe ndikumvera tsopano. Posachedwa ndakhala ndikumva kukhumudwa kwambiri, mwina chifukwa chakukula kwanga. Ndakhala ndikuwononga nthawi yambiri (ikuyamba kukhala yopitilira ola limodzi patsiku). Ndakhala ndikuyembekezera magawo anga omwe amandipangitsa kukhala wokhumudwa kwambiri momwe ndimaganizira choncho. Maganizo anga asintha kuchokera "kupeza bwenzi" kukhala "simukupeza bwenzi loti uzimenyera", zomwe zimandikhumudwitsa. Ndakhala ndikuyesera kusintha malingalirowo koma ndizovuta kwambiri. Ndinkamvetsera podcast lero ndipo adanenanso momwe kusasekerera maliseche kuli bwino m'maganizo mwanu ndipo nthawi yomweyo pa reddit imodzi mwazomwe zatchulidwazi lero ndi momwe kupopera kasanu kasanu pamlungu kumachepetsa mwayi wanu wa khansa ya prostate.
Ndakhalanso ndi keke ya ndalama dzulo yomwe imati "Osataya mtima".
Ine, pano ndili. Ndikulingalira zomwe ndikupempha ndi mawu achifundo kuti andipulumutse.
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