Kulakwitsa kwakukulu kwa moyo wanga kunali kusalemekeza mphamvu ya zolaula. Ndili ndi zaka 14, mnzanga wina anandipatsa CD yodzaza ndi zolaula. Mpaka nthawiyo, zomwe ndinakumana nazo ndi mawonekedwe achikazi zinali kuyesera kuzembera HBO usiku. Nthawi imene chiboliboli chinkawoneka chapadera kwambiri moti tinkagwira ntchito kwa maola ambiri kuti tipeze mlongoti moyenera kuti, kamphindi, tione nsonga kuseri kwa chinsalu choyera. Nditafika kunyumba n’kutsegula CDyo, m’mutu mwanga munadzaza dziko latsopano lachisangalalo. Tsiku limenelo ndinadzigwira ndikutulutsa umuna koyamba. Tsiku limenelo ndinatsegula mbali yofunika kwambiri ya moyo wanga, yomwe idzalamulira chisankho chilichonse chimene ndapanga, kwamuyaya.
Pomwe zaka zinkapitilira ndidakula kuyambira paubwana, wamkono, wamnzeru kukhala munthu wokongola, wotuluka, mseri. Nditakhala 17, ndinataya unamwali wanga wamkazi panthawiyo. Tidagona pabedi la makolo ake, zovala zathu zidachoka, zinthu zikuyamba kutentha, koma sindinathe kuwuka. Sizinamveke ngati zomwe ndakhala zaka zingapo zapitazi moyo wanga ukubwerako. Sanandimvetse nkhawa mpaka atakomoka, samalankhula zakuda, samagwedeza bulu wake, ndipo sanali zomwe ndimaganiza kuti ndimafuna. Kudzera mwa mphamvu ya mkati ndinakwanitsa kusunga malingaliro ndipo tidagonana. Koma ndimafunikiranso zina. Tidakondana zaka 2 ndipo ndidamuchitira ngati zinyalala. Ndinkadana naye chifukwa sanali zomwe zolaula zimandiuza kuti ndi zolaula. Anali mtsikana wabwinobwino, wathanzi, wokonzanso. Anali mtsikana yemwe amayenera kukhala ndipo zimandivutabe kuti ndisadzidane chifukwa chosampatsa mwana wamkazi. Pamapeto pake, monga maubwenzi ambiri aku sukulu yasekondale, tidasokonekera ndipo tidasiyana njira zathu. Ndinapita kukoleji, ndinakumana ndi anthu atsopano, ndinakumana ndi zodabwitsa kwambiri, ndipo chikondi changa cha zolaula chinakula. Ndinkasaka pa intaneti kwa maola angapo kuti ndimalize, kuyesera kupeza kanema "wabwino" uja. Ndinkadziwa kuti kanema wangayo analibe koma zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri kuyesa. Pamene ludzu langa la zolaula limakulirakulira, zokumana nazo zanga akazi enieni zidakulanso. Atsikana awa ku koleji amafuna kukhala ngati nyenyezi zolaula. Ndidawafunafuna, ndikumaliza nkhope zawo, kundipatsa khosi, tidapanga mavidiyo, ndipo amagwedeza abulu awo ... koma nthawi iliyonse tikamaliza ndimawada. Sindinathe kuwayang'ana m'maso pambuyo pake. Uwu ndiwo moyo wanga.
Ndili ndi zaka 22, amayi anga anapezeka ndi khansa ya m'mimba. Kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi banja lathu lidamenyana ndipo dziko langa lidasinthiratu. Ndinkawawona amayi anga akukhala munthu wamphamvu kwambiri yemwe ndidamuonapo; tinakulitsa banja monga banja, ndipo chikondi changa cha zolaula chidayamba kuzolowera. Tsopano kuseri kwa zitseko zotsekedwa, makanema onyansa okha kwambiri ndi omwe adatsitsa malingaliro anga. Ndisanapite ku chikumbutso cha amayi anga ndinapeza zolaula za maola a 3. Pambuyo pa ntchito ndinapita kunyumba yanga, ndikulira, kenako ndikufufuza zolaula zina. Munalibe ngakhale madzi akumwa mthupi mwanga, koma ndimayenera kumva chitsimikizo.
Zaka zidadutsa, ntchito yanga idayamba, ndidakumana ndi mtsikana wabwino kwambiri, koma chinsinsi changa chidali chinthu chofunikira kwambiri m'moyo wanga. Ndidamva kale kuti mumafotokozedwa ndi zomwe mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku. Ndipo zolaula inali imodzi yanga, yosasinthika, zochitika zamasiku onse. Kodi uyu anali ndani? Sindingalole izi kuchitika. Ndikufuna kusintha. Ndidapunthwa modutsa mtundu wa NoFap ndipo mosaganizira kwambiri ndidapereka. M'malo mwake, sizinali zachilendo. Ndidangochita. Poyamba ndidapanga masiku a 5 osadziseweretsa maliseche, kenako adagonjera. Ndidanyansidwa ndi ine ndikuyesanso. Masiku XXUMX. Kubwereranso. Masiku XXUMX. Kubwereranso. Masiku XXUMX. Kupambana. Kenako, dziko langa linasinthiratu. Amalume anga adandiimbira pakati pausiku ndipo adandiuza bambo anga ali ndi vuto la mtima. Ndidatsika pafoni ndikukhala chete kwa mphindi 17 ndisanapite ku chipatala. Ndimangoganiza. Ndinaganiza za chilichonse. Ndinapita kuchipatala, bambo anga anali okhazikika, ndinapita kunyumba ndipo ndinakhala. Ndinaganiza. Ndidapemphera. Ndinali ndi machiritso ochulukirapo mu nthawi ziwirizi m'chipinda changa pomwe ndidachita zaka zonse kuyambira pomwe amayi anga amwalira, kuphatikiza. Sindinabisenso kumbuyo kwa chitonthozo cha zolaula. Zolaula zinali mankhwala osokoneza bongo omwe anali kundilepheretsa kuti ndikumane ndi chowonadi. Kwa moyo wanga wonse wachikulire zimandiletsa kukhala ndi moyo.
Tsiku ndi tsiku ndi nkhondo yosayimba ndikusunga vidiyo yabwinoyi koma lero ndili woyera. Ndikuganiza kuti zikhala zovuta nthawi zonse koma zizikhala zaphindu. Nkhondo imeneyi ndi chinthu chomwe chimandipangitsa kuti ndizikhala wamoyo nthawi zonse. Ndili ndi moyo womwe ndi wanga ndipo ndimawakonda. Ndine wabwino kwambiri m'moyo wanga, khungu langa limakhala loyera kuposa kale, ndipo ndine wolimba mtima kwambiri kuposa momwe ndidakhalira. Ndili ndi chibwenzi chodabwitsa, ndipo titagonana, ndimamuyang'ana m'maso ndipo ndimatha kumukonda.
LINK - Iyi Ndi Nkhani yanga: Kukonda zolaula, Zinsinsi ndi Udani Wodzikonda.
by newblue52
ZOCHITIKA - Lero ndatsuka masiku 492…
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