Rebooting Accounts: Page 1

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Rebooting to end porn addictionIn the links below the text you will find about 2,000 first-hand accounts of people's rebooting (recovery) experiences. We started a second Rebooting Accounts page, as our system can't handle so much success on a single page. In addition, 8 web-pages conatining shorter porn-induced ED recovery stories can be found here (so first-hand recovery accounts now total over 4,000).

If supplied by the author, a rebooting account starts with the age. Some begin with length of the reboot, others with a quote from the author. Almost all rebooting accounts contain a link to the original post, and most have a user name.

You'll also see a lot of 90-day reports. A common misconception is that YBOP suggests 90 days as a rebooting period. It doesn't. Lengths vary because goals vary. Many choose to write up a report at 90 days, but note that most have relapsed several times before achieving a 90-day streak.

Many more recovery accounts are found in these six sections, and scattered throughout the website:

  1. This page contains "advice columns" written by recovering porn addicts
  2. This page contains links to off-site blogs and threads chronicling recovery from porn addiction.
  3. A few 90-Day+ Reports from reddit.com NoFap
  4. 8 pages of shorter stories describing recovery from porn-induced ED: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
  5. The Other Porn Experiment - Below the article read several pages of short stories and "rebooting benefits"
  6. In addition, there are many mini-accounts in What benefits do people see as they reboot?

Commonly used abbreviations:

  • ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  • PIED = Porn-induced Erectile Dysfunction
  • DE = Delayed Ejaculation
  • PE = Premature Ejaculation
  • PMO = Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm
  • MO = Masturbation & Orgasm
  • HOCD = Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
  • SOCD = Sexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
  • gf - Girlfriend
  • SO = Significant Other
  • Fap or fapping = Masturbation

This seems to be a typical feature of recovery:

I am proud of living without PMO for two weeks. I'm single but I rely on friends, family, yoga, massage, exercise, and breathing to get by each day. I am learning many natural ways of relaxing and coping with my brain and environment. I'm more relaxed, generous, and appreciative with people. However, I feel great pain, lethargy, apathy, sadness, frustration and loneliness sometimes. The frequency and duration of my time in the Pits is definitely decreasing. There's a lot of comfort remembering that, whenever my dopamine needle drops real low. One problem with improvement is that we forget how messed up we were when we started. LOL

Rebooting is not linear (repeat this slowly, several times) - That is, each day isn't better than the last. There are ups and downs, although the trend over time is upward. Meanwhile, neurochemically induced mood swings (The Pits) continue for a while. Some people say these mood swings don't decrease in severity for a long while (graph by young rebooter). What changes is that they decrease in frequency, and they pass more quickly when they happen. So it gets easier and easier to just let them pass, and to turn to a healthy distraction (exercise, socializing, a rewiring exercise, doing something productive, and so forth).

Also, watch out for the good days:

Some of my relapses in fact happened on quite successful/happy days, like my mind was on some kind of dopamine rush and slipped to the porn without me having noticed. So keep in mind, self-control is always necessary, even if everything seems to be going just fine.

This man decided to graph his rebooting experience:

I've done 3 graphs, mood on y-axis, day since last MO on x-axis. First is the raw data, not surprisingly very choppy. Shows non-linearity nicely. The other two are rolling 3-day average and rolling 6-day average. Non-linearity still apparent. Note: I didn't know what to put for the first 5 days because they were all over the place, so I just put alternating 8 and 0.
 

Raw data graph

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

3-day rolling graph

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 
 
6-day rolling graph

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone's experience is somewhat different. It's an adventure to observe how the changes in the brain show up in your body and emotions. Said one guy:

All of these forces are at work: Erections, morning erections, orgasm/urge to orgasm, feeling of horniness etc. I feel like during the rewiring, these forces have all been there, but they are all kind of marching to their own beat. There have been times where I had the urge to O but wasn't horny and didn't have an erection. There have been times when I have felt really horny and felt nothing downstairs. There have been long spans of days where I would wake up with an erection and, after it was gone, I would be in complete flatline the rest of the day. But days like day 16, my brief relationship from days 22 to 35, and most importantly day 48 have shown me that things start working more harmoniously as time goes on.

Comments

Let me tell you guys a little about myself and the problems I have faced in the past 2-3 years.

I am almost 23 now. I'm from Toronto, Canada.
I am Muslim and was innocent until a month before I turned 20 years old...I rarely watched porn, I never even touched a girl or spent time with a girl alone until then. Lost my virginity just before I turned 20....to a hooker. Ever since then my life has been hell. I started drinking, smoking weed, doing coke, molly, ketamine, crack. And worst of all, I became addicted to hookers. The rush and excitement of seeing a new girl was just too much for me to resist against. If I count , I think I've probably seen at least 400 different girls. I am thankfully STD free though. I always saw a girl only once....there were only a few girls ...maybe 5 out of the 400+, that I saw twice or thrice. I felt awesome during the first 1 year I was drinking, doing drugs, banging hookers...but after that I started getting problems. I still kept sticking to these bad habits until I pretty much had to give them all up because of my health and financial and family problems....I didn't have the willpower to quit it all by myself, I had to ask God for help and somehow I ended up being pushed against the wall, with no option but to stop it all. It's been a year since I last went to a hooker or had sex...and it's been about the same for the drugs and drinking too. I quit it all now.

The problems I started getting after about a year were....I would go see a hooker ( hot ones...elite top class blondes, brunettes, young girls) but no matter how much she sucked, kissed, or tried anything else, I wouldn't get hard. They would get turned off and I would waste my time and my money. Countless times this happened and I just got so disappointed in myself. On top of that, I started getting sleeping problems and couldn't sleep longer than 2-3 hours uninterrupted...and it's been like that for the past 2 years. I also started watching porn after I lost my virginity....a lot of it...and it came to a point where I would spend a couple hours finding a video that would actually get me hard...and I wouldn't even be fully hard....about 75-80%. I couldn't do anything anymore....I was too fearful of seeing hookers again...because I would waste my money and have no fun either. Too fearful of approaching girls and having sex...I tried once and I couldn't get it up....it was awkward and the girl never replied to my messages again. I was also exercising heavily...a lot of HIIT and a lot of weightlifting. I started having so many health problems...inflammation, weak joints, the worst sleep every night...unbearable ED and useless orgasms, fatigue, no motivation, just feeling like crap all the time, I got injured multiple times too. Also, during those 2 years of hooker and drug addiction, I was in university. Right after I graduated, I had too many problems so I quit it all. However, the problems have burdened me for the past year even after I quit everything (even porn and masturbation). I thought I would get a job and stuff, but my sleeping problems prevented me from doing any job. I felt useless and honestly I don't know how I am still alive right now. It's been a year now and I still haven't found a job, I still have most of the health problems.....but FINALLY I have figured out what my body was lacking and how I can cure my ED and my sleep !!

I literally tried everything I could...(family doctors here in Toronto are useless....they make you do useless tests that do not solve anything). I tried supplements like korean ginseng, ashwaghanda, gingko biloba, fish oil, arginine, L-citrulline, L-tyrosine, L-tryptophan, glutamine, protein, all kinds of teas (valerian, chamomile, sage wort, passion flower, etc), I tried GABA, 5-htp, other sleeping meds, Maca root and so much more things that I forget right now. I also tried fixing my diet and eating healthy. But nope...my sleep has been crappy for past 2 years...each night was a living hell trying to sleep and staying asleep.

Anyway, I realized that all these problems started when I started seeing hookers, watching porn, exercising excessively, masturbating, doing drugs. So just last week after literally trying everything and consistently researching for any possible cure...for the past 2 years, It all finally makes sense.

Basically, everyone knows Arginine and L-citrulline are amino acids and they dilate your blood vessels, clean the plaque and help blood flow tremendously through Nitric Oxide..and that's why if you take those supplements, you will notice some improvements in vascularity and in erections. As for the sleep, the neurotransmitter called Serotonin is responsible for regulating sleep. As for the ED, dopamine is the neurotransmitter responsible for achieving strong erections and for the confidence and attraction etc.

Ever since I started doing all those things, I really taxed my body's nervous system and depleted my neurotransmitters on a regular basis...doing multiple things everyday (hookers, drugs, exercise). Our body needs sufficient levels of Serotonin and Dopamine to regular mood, sleep, erections. However, all those things heavily rely on Serotonin and Dopamine....hence the depletion. I will also say that for the past year or so, I tried a vegetarian diet and I will tell you why it didn't work out for me.

So it turns out that PROTEIN is very important. Everyone who I talked to about protein said the same things to me..."Stop worrying too much protein and diet, don't think about things when you sleep, try to relax when you have sex...etc etc etc" and also "You don't need much protein...average man only needs 0.8g of protein per KG of bodyweight" etc etc.

HOWEVER, what these people didn't realize and what I also did not realize is that.....I AM NOT AN AVERAGE MAN. I am exercising and weight lifting 4-5 times a week, I was having sex with hookers almost every day, I was doing coke, weed and drinking for 1 year straight, and also the porn and masturbation. As it turns out, since all these things demand Serotonin and Dopamine.....they also demand protein. So on top of the protein my body needs from exercising/weight lifting, my body also needed protein to sustain nervous system and also to sustain general daily base function of the body.

Protein is made up of amino acids...I was eating vegetarian diet and having a lot of daal (lentils), beans and nuts/seeds. However, lentils are not complete proteins...and need to be supplemented with a lot of grains or nuts or seeds to complete the protein chain. So now I realized that I need to eat complete protein ( all animal proteins are complete...chicken, beef, lamb, veal, yogurt, milk, cheese) and if I want to keep vegetarian diet, I need to eat a lot of grains like rice, quinoa with the lentils/beans to complete the proteins.

NOW THE MAIN THING IS.....L-tryptophan which is an essential amino acid...found in protein foods....is the precursor to the neurotransmitter Serotonin. And L-tyrosine which is a conditionally essential amino acid that is a precursor to the neurotransmitter Dopamine....(conditionally, meaning that it becomes essential when you are depleting dopamine at a fast rate due to various activities like porn, masturbation, hookers (sex), and exercise).

Also it turns out that Protein foods also have substantial amounts of Arginine......L-citrulline turns into arginine in your body and arginine is needed for blood flow and nitric oxide (stronger erections).

So how do you cure ED and other symptoms?

EAT MORE PROTEIN !!!

I am grateful to God and to all the people who have done scientific research and given us humans at home so much knowledge through the internet etc.

For example, 100g of chicken breast cooked, boiled, whatever.....has 31g of protein. In that 31g of protein, it has about 1900mg of Arginine....I used to take 5g of arginine powder per day and it helped a lot with my erections...however, now I just eat more complete protein foods (chicken breast, lean beef, lamb, veal, milk, yogurt, lentils+rice, nuts, seeds). The 100g of chicken breast also has 1g of L-tyrosine...which is precursor to dopamine and will convert to dopamine in your body if you need it....AND YOU DEFINITELY NEED DOPAMINE!! It also has 360mg of L-tryptophan...which will convert to Serotonin...that will help with keeping anxiety away, sleep levels regulated and cure your depression!!

Also for example, whey protein...I used to take 50g per day and still do....however!!....25g of actual whey protein has only 600mg of Arginine and less tyrosine and a little less trytophan than the chicken breast (probably due to the 25g vs 31g but still....the Arginine is 3x lower !!).

So eat all kinds of proteins...if you are vegetarian, eat lentils/beans with vegetables like spinach and with grains, to complete the protein chain. If you are not vegetarian, start eating chicken breast , lean beef like crazy!!

I simply cannot believe the results I've had. Protein is the cure to all your problems (well not all....but ED, sleep, and depression, mood will all be cured !!) It's only been 1 week..I am not lying ! And I get soooooooooo sleepy when I eat 50g of chicken breast protein (about 175g of chicken breast total cooked weight)...my dad always told me that he got sleepy when he ate a lot of chicken...and now it makes sense !! My erections are improving every day (I've been masturbating everyday to see progress and I am amazed!)

I am 5'9, 160 lbs and currently I am eating about 200g of protein from chicken breast/lean beef per day. 50g protein from whey protein. 50g from spinach, other veggies, nuts, seeds, grains like quinoa, rice. About 300g total per day. I know people keep telling me it's too much and you only need 100-150g for my weight....but those people don't know how I lived my life before I quit all those things and they don't know how much my body needs these proteins to restore my neurotransmitters and nervous system!!

Last thing....THINK ABOUT IT !! I used to eat like 100g protein total...and 50g would be whey protein. Now I am eating 300g...200g more !!

If you think about it....200g of chicken breast/lean beef protein has approximately 12250mg or 12.5g of arginine !!! Also like 6000mg or 6g of L-tyrosine...which will convert to Dopamine...more dopamine = better orgasms !!

I used to think taking 5g of arginine powder was so much and it actually helped me a lot....now that I've added about 12.5 of arginine in my diet through natural protein...the benefits are through the roof and I am gaining my health back daily!

Please, to everyone who reads this....try this out!! I cannot guarantee that it will benefit you, but it's working for me and figuring this out was the final piece to the puzzle. Start eating more protein...a lot more!! You will lose fat automatically due to lower cortisol levels (higher serotonin and dopamine levels decrease cortisol), you will build more muscle mass, you will get better sleep, you will gain vascularity and more blood flow from all that extra arginine, and your erections will definitely come back hard !!

Sorry for the long post !! To anyone who doesn't want to read it...

Tl:dr

L-tyrosine precursor to dopamine, will restore dopamine levels
L-tryptophan precusor to serotonin, will restore serotonin levels
Arginine precursor to nitric oxide, will increase blood flow, vascularity too

All three can be found in complete proteins and will cure your ED through acting on your nervous system and blood flow. To get complete proteins, eat animal protein (chicken breast, lean beef, milk, yogurt, cheese, lamb, veal, nuts, seeds or lentils+rice/quinoa...since lentils by itself is not complete protein).

So I have done the 90 day thing before and it worked really well. I got strong hard erections. But then I ruined it by considering myself cured and basically bingeing on porn although I managed to restrain myself to some extent. I tried used visual fantasies of real people or looking up movies that I knew had multiple sex scenes.
I have managed to stop myself from going back to porn sites but I have realized that deliberately trawling for movies with sex scenes is no better. The feelings are always the same; anticipation, excitement and if the scene is good, desperation to keep it going as long as possible. If the scene peters out or is lacking in any way, I feel angry, frustrated and do whatever it takes to get off. Regardless of which scenario it is, at the end of it the feelings are the same. Disgust, sadness and a feeling of despair that I am hooked to this. The pleasure is so momentary and the disgust I felt afterwards about the sheer amount of time I have wasted doing something so useless is terrible.
So I am back on the wagon and this time I plan to stay on it for good. I have done 90 days so I know I can do it. I know what to look out for. It really does feel occasionally like my body has been hijacked by this person that I do not know. But the truth is, I do know that person. Somebody I am so ashamed off that I pretend that that person has nothing to do with me. But if you do not own up to the fact that you are the one choosing to do this, you will never truly be able to help yourself.
So its day 5 now and I have had some good productive days thanks to actually getting out of bed and doing work rather than just surfing and fapping. But I can feel my brain lying in wait. It starts so subtly. A tug to read that article about sex positions, to click that link on actresses with the best breasts. When I resist that, it gets harder. The doubts about whether the equipment is still working, the memory of that article that said masturbating is good for the prostrate, the feeling in a hot shower when you find your hand drifting downwards. The main thing that keeps me going is the realization that I do not want to be a slave to any form of addiction. And this thing is an addiction that is as dangerous as heroin or morphine.

Beeter today. No real triggers but I am completely drained. I slept late last night, browsing the internet. I knew I was looking for triggers but I managed to restrain myself. Next two days should be easy. I have plenty of work lined up to keep me occupied.

Well I made it through my 1st week. On the negative side, the fog is still there to some extent. Still feel listless and not very focused. On the plus side, I had some good hard morning wood so that was great.

Hard and throbbing but trying very hard to do something useful rather than waste time on the internet. One week is over and I already feel like my productivity has increased.

I’m 50 years old and have always had a pretty strong sex drive. I discovered porn when I was about 14 but fortunately the internet didn’t exist in the form it does today. I got fast internet when I was about 32 and I’ve been binging on porn ever since. I’m in a relationship with wonderful woman who I find very attractive. I noticed I was taking forever to cum and even gave up trying once I knew my girlfriend had cum. About a year ago PIED hit me! No erection with my girlfriend. I was still watching porn and masturbating but the real thing was ‘boring’. I immediately connected this to porn use and found this site.

I quit FAP at the beginning of the year and after 38 days I was ‘cured’. Strong erections, good sex, fantastic sensations and having an orgasm before my heart gave out. I was very pleased to have ‘rebooted’ so quickly. I came to the conclusion that the videos I had been watching were the problem. Like many people on here report, my tastes changed and I was watching stuff which no longer matched my sexual orientation. So I decided that I was done with ‘tube sites’ and watching porn videos. However, I concluded that some soft-core images wouldn’t hurt so I started checking out some nude pictures, women on their own and no sex or penetration. I also decided I wouldn’t masturbate while viewing them. BIG MISTAKE!

Although I haven’t watched a porn video for about a year now my interest in soft-core nudes escalated to erotic comics. This then moved onto fetish comics (still no videos). I came to my senses about a month ago mid-way through masturbating to still fetish images. I was edging and I was searching for the perfect still image to finish to. In addition to this, I haven’t been able to get hard enough to have sex with my girlfriend for 2 months. I’m flat-lining again and this time it feels terrible. It feels like death inside my shorts. I’m 31 days into my 2nd reboot and this feels much more serious than the previous one. I had some hints that I was recovering at this stage last time. This time I feel nothing. I’m not freaking out because if things improved last time I’m sure they will this time. I’m just very angry with myself because the sex I had with my girlfriend when I had ‘cured’ myself was amazing and now I’m having to restart again.

I know everybody is different and every reboot will differ but here are some of my thoughts with respect to my own experience. Watching fast streaming porn videos isn’t the only problem. It’s all porn. I haven’t watched a porn video for about a year but just looking at soft images has led to hard images which led to masturbating to these images. Now I find myself back to square one (in fact it feels worse than square one). No erections. No morning wood. No desire to make love to my girlfriend but lots of cravings to look at porn!

So please, DO NOT think you can sneak a little porn in just to kill a bit of time (regardless of the genre or strength). You need to really shut down the neural paths associated with porn and reward. When you start to feel some life returning to your loins, DO NOT test it out with a little PMO session. I’m not masturbating during my current flat-line because I just can’t get hard. I didn’t masturbate during my previous flat-line. Try not to panic. I’m pretty good at keeping it together when I’m stressed but even I’ve been having some irrational thoughts because it really does feel like my dick is dead. Good luck to everyone trying to get their lives back on track. I would never have believed watching porn could have had such a profound effect on my ability to have sex but thanks to Gary and the other people posting on here we know what it can do and how we can reverse its effects.

The flatline can be scary. You can find suggestions that might help you "jump start" things here: RebootTaking TOO.LONG. It may be too soon to apply them, however. Time is your friend. So is daily affection with your wife: The Lazy Way to Stay in Love. Good luck.

Hi all,

Just giving you some light at the end of the tunnel.

Was looking at hard-ish core porn since I was about 15 PMO daily, up to 3 times daily even depending on stress levels.

I decided to give it up 7 weeks ago due to knowing I had a big weekend coming up and thought it'd be a good idea to be horny going to the event. I flatlined soon after the event which was stressful but the reading here put me at somewhat ease.

Unfortunately I didn't pull that weekend (it was a great weekend nonetheless!). I had a wet dream soon after and was in the middle of my flatline. but when I got back to my shared house I began watching movies with my housemate that eventually moved from the living room to the bedroom (for convenience reasons of course ;) ). And eventually I threw my arm over her shoulder and we started cuddling before trying to have sex.

I had bought viagra in anticipation the week before which I was hoping I wouldn't need. I had had sexual encounters with girls before but had never got it up. I was also very drunk these previous times as well so I wasn't sure what the cause was (I now know it was just a bit of anxiety/PIED). Anyway I didn't get it up the first night which wasn't ideal and didn't take the Viagra either- especially considering it was my housemate, if things didn't work out it would obviously be quite awkward. I was trembling with fear making a move on a girl I knew sober. I get the shakes when I'm nervous anyway - job interviews etc...

The next time we tried one or two days later - I took the viagra and it had no effect. This was probably me getting to the end of the flatline phase. I was getting erections cuddling but soon after penetration I would lose the erection. We did some other touching and I fingered her to orgasm anyway - which relieved me in knowing that I could still please her either way.

I believe strongly that having my housemate and nightly cuddling accelerated the process of flatlining for me but who knows for certain.

The third time - I got 3/4 hard and penetrated her to orgasm! This was progress but I still couldn't finish without using my hand. I'd explained the process to her at this stage and that I was trying to not use my hands too much as I believed (and proved right) That I had death grip syndrome where I find it easier to orgasm to my hand than a vagina.

We continued like this where I would make her orgasm - sometimes I would finish my hand other times not. She wanted to go into a relationship pretty quick which I went with although have held off on using words like girlfriend until recently. She was quite frustrated that she would orgasm and I wouldn't. I explained to her a few times that it is just going to be like this until it sorts itself out.

Which in the end, it did! for the first time last night I orgasmed inside her (she's on the pill now). We were both delighted and it hopefully is a sign of greater things to come.

Other important notes; I really struggled feeling anything with a condom - just went without most of the time with the intention of pulling out if I ever got close - obviously not the best advice but just saying what I did. She went on the pill soon anyway.

I was horny pretty much every night the whole time - she did get annoyed at me wanting something every night or grinding on her at 3am.

I did actually watch porn about 6 weeks in after a night I was extra horny and didn't get anything - first time without orgasming then the further 2 times afterwards I did. I don't think this helped nor do I recommend it in a reboot tbh.

There was then a two day period where I didn't see her and I didn't touch myself and that was the brilliant night that I came in her!

Sorry for the all over the place writing style but didn't want to leave anything important out.

Hopefully this is useful to someone out there and best of luck to you all. It all pays off in the end!

Hi

I started prone MO from age 11 to 20. At 21 I managed to start masturbating in the correct position but still had PIED. I've never had a strong election and sex has always been poor. I have tried to give up PMO a few times and go no further than 2 weeks.

This time I decided to blog my progress, block my apps etc. The last 2 years I have had HCOD even though I am engaged. Recebtly I had sex with a guy to see if I was gay and it didn't work for me. After that I have decided to quit PMO. I stopped on the 24th Dec 2015. So 13 days so far, hoping to take up some more hobbies to fill up the time

Tom

Well, it is the first time I post here at the site. Well, I've been suffering from this "addiction" since I was 14 or 15, actually I dont remember when it first began. I started masturbating way before that, but I dont remember the date too. In the end of the last year, I travelled to my hometown, and managed to keep away from porn for 45 days. AMAZING. I know that there is misticism about the "superpowers", but I do believe that the dopamina system really gets affected in owr brains, in a way that I aways felt in a "lethargic" mood. But, either way, I'm very disappointed that I aways have to watch myself. Well, I'm back to the city I currently live. So porn's got back stronger than never. I don't know. When I was hometown, I didn't really have to "watch myself". But now, I don't have nobody, and porn comes from my boredom. Really wanted to unburden here. Well, thanks, if anyone ever read this. But the thing is, you see, the cure is not in some technic you find, or some that you can consciounsly do. I think you have to dig deep. And the main problem for me is really find something to really go outside, meet people, do the stuffs I used to like. While I don't do that, my craves aint going nowhere.

Hello,
This is my first post and the most important thing I have ever written.
First of all, sorry for my English. It is no my first language.
I have discovered this webpage some days ago and for me it has been incredible. So many years holding my “sexual problems” alone and, now, I can talk and read about them. This is the beginning of a new life.
I think that my history is, at least, singular.
I started masturbating when I was thirteen. In that time there was no internet (I am 46), but my masturbating fetish was women with jewelry. That is not the best beginning for a regular sexual life!! I don´t know how could I start with this fetish, but I suspect it´s relative to relation with my mother. She used to wear jewelry when I was a child, and I have always had a difficult relationship with her.
I used to MO every day with no-naked beautiful women with specific jewelry. I used to find any place to fap (in that time it wasn´t so easy to be alone) and, besides, I use to fap and smoke cigarettes. Both, at the same time. Fapping became a daily necessity for me, wherever I was, I always found a place to fap and smoke cigarettes.
When I was 18 I started dating a girl. We were together for two years and we didn´t have sex. There was no problem with that, we didn´t talk about that and I didn´t think about that, and I followed masturbating and edging imagining beautiful girls every day, but not porn. Now I think that it was because I had only sensitized an imaginary- fantasized sexual behavior and altered the structure and chemistry of the brain's complex reward circuitry. For me, masturbating to fantasy caused the same problems as using porn.
In my 20s I use to drink a lot at nights and started taking drugs (speed and cocaine) on weekends. After alcohol and drugs nights I use to be at home for the next whole day fapping and edging for hours. In that time my fetish was strong, and I use to MO watching music videos with beautiful girls. I think that it was my worst period. My leisure spins around searching for beautiful girls on tv or in magazines and find any time to be alone and to MO.
When I was 25 I started with a girl. We were together for ten years. In that time, I tried seriously to stop masturbating. I felt that it was no good for me. I usually had problems with sex performance, I had ED and DE a lot of times and I felt that something wrong was in my sexuality. I was unable to perform. Went to a sexual psychologist, but didn´t help me. Finally we divorced.
In last ten years I have been trying to overcome my addiction, but internet doesn´t facilitated my intentions. Internet Porn has so many possibilities. Nowadays fetish is not so important to me, but it remains. So, I think that porn has worsen my sexuality, but it hasn´t been the activator. I think that when I was young I had emotional disorders and as scape I started masturbating with fetish, and I created a sexual disorder on me. My whole live I have been thinking my problem was that I only get excited with beautiful and unachievable women, that I have a SOCD, and that I strengthen that addiction pathway with so many hours of fapping and fantasizing.
In these ten years, except a one year relationship, I have been without any partner. Curiously and fortunately, that on- year-relation had good sex. She was good looking, but not super sexy. I think she is the only women I have been in love. This is encouraging for me and gives me confidence that I can overcome my sexual disorder.
I have done a lot of things to feel good: Improve my intrapersonal and interpersonal life, improve my relations with people and, specifically, with my mother, improve at work, I have always done a lot of sport, I am healthy, have a good job, friends… but I don´t know how to overcome my addiction and to normalize my sexuality. My family and friends don´t understand how can I live alone without relations with women. But no one knows the truth. I think that it´s too hard for mi family to hear about PMO, DE, SOCD, DE… (and for me to talk about them).
Lately, I have tried to have sex with real partners, but the few times I had the chance I suffered an ED, especially if I have to put on the condom. I also have tried to avoid masturbating, and nowadays I masturbate 3 or 4 times per week. I know it is not too much and everybody would think that it is nonsense, but I know that my fantasizing neural pathway for sex is huge and the real one is super small. I think that in the last years my fantasying - virtual pathway is getting smaller. But, desensitisation about real sex is still strong.
After finding this web I can see a light in the tunnel. May be I have never strength the real pathway and that is what I have to do: restoring my brain to its original factory settings. I need to know if there is something behind the SOCD.
I started some days ago rebooting and I don´t want to MO in months. I don´t know if reboot will work in my case, but is the only way out I have.
I would thank any advice, suggestion or anything.
Thank you and good luck!!

Jon

Worst case, you'll learn more about your sexuality by giving yourself a time-out for a few months.

The things that help the most are exercise, meditation, time in nature, socializing, staying offline, and beneficial stressors like cold showers.

Do what you can to connect with others, even with eye contact and smiles. You might like this article, as it explains how to make connections more easily:

The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

Good luck!

 

Nofap is surely the hardest thing ive ever done. It took me 1 year just to get to day 30.
My background..
I was a normal student till 7th grade when i found weird images, and started watching porn.
I later learnt masturbation from porn and became an addict since age 14.

Endless relapses, but even during my smallest streak I constantly was becoming better. I started the gym in february, made some serious gains, like when i joined i was 55kg, 15.0 Muscle to fat.
Now (December 3), i weigh 73 kg with a muscle to fat of 9.0!!, being vegan, jain(Google it).
Woman attraction, well ive been getting so many kissy fce chats but im not going in long term relationship before I am totally convinced that ive killed the demon inside me...

But still, Eye contact will girls have improved, If i see some random stranger checking me out, i keep staring until she smiles, (Works every time!!!)

Attraction is not just limited to girls, but also to infants. Like I never use to be the person my nephew would play with but now, he senses something about me.

I started a Youtube Channel on nofap,( "A New Beginning" if you want to check it out https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNme8RuS-TfV2sNBmt1aGHQ)

Confidence, WOW, never thought that i would be any close. I know what I want and pick my battles.. I dont unnecessarily
argue with people or go after things that look good on someone else. I do what I want to and enjoy every moment..

Ive learnt lot bout myself and started making vines on Instagram in my free time..

Stay strong fapstronauts, This is the best investment you can make is in YOU!!!!

DMS

About 2 yours ago I came across Gary’s video on YouTube and I immediately recognized that I had all the symptoms of PIED. I embarked on my first ‘reboot’ and was successful after only 38 days. I was 50 and put my swift reboot down to the fact that I’d had plenty of real sexual experiences before the advent of high speed internet.

I’ve written here before about my relapse. After my successful ‘reboot’ I started to look at nude stills and porn comics, which inevitably led to harder material. It escalated to tranny and sissy porn and obviously my PIED returned. I’m in a relationship with a truly magnificent woman. I couldn’t wish for a better companion but I just can’t get hard or, for the most part, just don’t feel like having sex.

I started a new ‘reboot’ 22nd Feb 2016. I imagined that my 2nd ‘reboot’ would take a similar length of time given that I’d already abstained from porn during my first. It’s now been one year and I’m not cured. I have relapsed several times during this 12 month period. I PMO’d 28 times during the year. My longest streak without PMO was 75 days.

My relapses were one off porn sessions to orgasm. They weren’t 1 week binges. I couldn’t fight the urges, jacked off to porn once and then, fueled by guilt and remorse, started again. It might be of some interest to understand the ‘streaks’ between PMO relapses.

13 days
8 days
12 days
41 days
66 days
4 days
4 days
5 days
3 days
7 days
30 days
3 days
1 day
9 days
4 days
2 days
7 days
75 days
3 days
4 days
1 day
13 days
3 days
4 days
8 days
2 days
2 days of PMO
6 days
3 days
6 days and counting¬

In one year I have abstained from PMO for around 347 days out of 365 and my PIED with my partner is as bad as it was when I started.

I don’t want to discourage anyone with this post. If you are suffering from PIED then stay strong and keep working towards your goal. I just wanted to illustrate that this process might take an incredibly long time.

I don’t know if anyone has had a similar experience. I don’t understand why my first ‘reboot’ took 38 days. Sex with my partner was amazing and the sensitivity of my penis was off the scale. This 2nd ‘reboot’ seems to be taking forever. During my first ‘reboot’ I just started getting full erections without any warning so I hope that my recovery from this 2nd ‘reboot’ happens tomorrow. I just don’t know when I will recover. Has anyone else had a similar situation after a successful ‘reboot’?

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