在PMO工作30年后–我一生中第一次进行性交勃起

82天是一个很奇怪的数字,但今天我实现了一个重要的里程碑。 快速背景。 我已离婚,并嫁给了我的第一个女朋友(和第一个性伴侣)。 那持续了十多年,我很P愧地承认PMO使我几乎没有性生活。

离婚不仅是由于PMO,而且我可以告诉你,没有性生活的恋爱是一段糟糕的恋爱期。

离婚后,我经历了很多改变,包括减轻了很多体重,改变了工作,汽车,态度和一切。 但是,即使婚姻顾问正确地告诉我我沉迷于色情片,我也没有更改PMO(我只是不知道退出的原因-我没有GF,这真令人安慰)。

离婚一年后快进,我遇到了一个漂亮的有爱心的女孩,你已经可以猜到这个故事了-我无法理解。 就像在我结婚期间一样,我开始想起嘿,我很伤心,这个女孩将不得不忍受这样一个事实,我是一个伟大的男朋友,除了性爱。

她非常支持我,并说我们会“解决”我的问题,这使我真正考虑了我的问题是什么。 而且,由于我已经提前预览了大约一年前的问题,因此我开始阅读有关该问题的信息,找到了该论坛,YBOP和其他站点。 有一天,我在休假,而不是出门在外,我打算在笔记本电脑上看色情片并自己开心,这打击了我-这就是问题所在。 我要停下来

那天是82天前,我很自豪地说我在没有手淫和高潮的情况下表现出色。 我不感到骄傲地说我似乎每隔几天就会复发色情内容-通常只有几分钟的比基尼/软核,但我知道它仍然是错误的。 这是我仍在战斗的​​战斗。

但是,至少对于我来说,nofap似乎是解决方案的核心,因为我的问题是由于死锁而导致脱敏-我从PIV或BJ或我的手上什么都感觉不到。 通过完全消除我的手,我可以缓慢(非常缓慢,但可以肯定)再次感到。

在大约45天的时间里,我肯定会感觉到PIED消失了,但它仍然不是完美的。 那时我告诉我的GF我的问题,这是另一件事在这里辩论。 至少在我的情况下,告诉她非常有帮助,这样她才能理解为帮助我变得更好而必须做的事情。

来到隧道尽头的光-希望这只是第一道曙光-今天早晨,我能够在PIV期间保持亮起状态,这是我一生中第一次(并且我30多岁)我只是从那给了一个女孩高潮。 我也感觉到了很多(显然是因为我能够进入并继续前进),但是在完全重新启动之前,我还有很长的路要走。

是的,这有点夸张,但我喜欢阅读其他人的夸张帖子,因为他们的成功给了我成功的希望。 我还有一段路要走,但是如果我能总结一下自己的旅程要点:

  • 长期以来PMO上瘾,让婚姻从内部腐烂
  • 最后在三个月前面对我的成瘾并且100%在nofap上没有好处(没有边缘或手淫)但在色情上却没那么好(大大减少了,但不是色情片)
  • 与新女朋友分享了所有细节。 因此,我在重新启动的同时处于“简单”模式下重新布线。
  • 关于45天的PIED(用一些表现焦虑所取代)大大减少了
  • 能够完成PIV 82的日子
  • 超过90天没有自己的性高潮,而且我不会爆炸-因此,并不是所有人都需要

在82天NOFAP后,能够完成PIV的PMO瘾君子是能够做到的。 重启绝对不是完整的,但正在进行中并值得做出牺牲

链接 - 82天发布–隧道尽头有灯!

by yetanotheranon1


 

更新- 差不多四个月后,我开始变得正常了

我的四个月nofap周年纪念日是几天前。 就在我遇到我现任女友的一个月之后,这位女朋友将我的骆驼打破了,最终打破了PMO周期。 她是如此的甜蜜和理解,我希望她如此糟糕但无法表现,这是我生命中的第一次,我说我想要变得更好,不仅仅是为了她,而是为了我自己。 然后我阅读,阅读,阅读并决定承担该计划。

<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“>It has not been without its bumps. I’ve been completely free of fap — no edging, no masturbation — but not pornfree. I’ve learned that its not because I am not satisfied looking at my girl, but its because of the novelty of seeing something new.</p><p>My main symptom was terrible PIED; while I was married for over a decade (to my first girlfriend and only sexual partner ever) I can’t say I ever successfully had PIV sex. I just assumed I was ‘broken’ at sex and that the PMO cycle was not the problem.</p><p>During the divorce I saw a counselor who told me I was addicted to porn, but I was going through a LOT of things and chose to ignore it, thinking whats the problem with PMO when you don’t have anyone. Looking back it was so stupid, but in my own defence, I was able to lose a LOT of weight and change my attitude towards women even before I quit PMO.</p><p>At around the 30 day mark of the program I told my girlfriend what I was going through. She was supportive and I stuck with ‘easy’ mode in the sense I still had sexual activity, just didn’t O, and still had PIED issues. At around the 90 day mark I for the first time in my life had PIV sex where I gave her an orgasm, and a few days later, I actually had an O inside a woman for the first time EVER. It was such a different experience that I didn’t even know it was happening till it was done.</p><p>Suffice to say I felt pretty good (even though like any one who is having first time sex, it was sooo quick). Then I think I fell into a flatline, or something happened. For the next two weeks I couldn’t get it up at all, and I was despondent. I felt like I did in my first relationship, that I was broken. But unlike last time, I felt horrible because I wanted to be better, because I know myself and my girlfriend deserve a normal sex life.</p><p>If one thing I’ve learned as a side effect of giving up PMO is that your emotions pour out of you like no one’s business. And this weekend after some progress in the right direction a few things happened that led me down a deep, dark path of self doubt. I can say honestly I never thought about relapsing, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>I also read the forums and we all know that in addition to the success stories we have stories of struggle, and there was a post yesterday that was something like “I just want to cry”. And I’m a typical guy, was told never to cry, and then you add on PMO which masks our emotions, I never cried. But I just cried about where I am, and cried in front of my girlfriend, just because the emotions were pouring out and I wasn’t bottling it up anymore and I wasn’t resorting to fap either.</p><p>As someone who PMOed for 30+ years and didn’t cry for 30+ years I can say that both things are definitely wrong. I can only wish someone I trusted had told me this. I can’t say that crying on its own felt better, but confronting my emotions, my insecurities, my fears, with someone I trusted was a big step of the process.</p><p>So after being reassured that my girlfriend and I would work on it as a team, and us talking over some things that normal couples do (such as being more expressive during sex over what we like, etc) we tried again the next couple of days. The next day, I was able to have PIV sex and have an O (so yes, the second time in my life inside a woman). Since I was aware of the sensation I was able to actually delay the O for a few minutes, but still not enough for my GF to O. The day after, I can say that it was a normal (still brief) sexual encounter .. I brought my GF to O and then I O afterwards.</p><p>In any regular life this is not something to write home about, because the sex was just ‘normal’. But after all this time, being normal is all I want. I now have regular issues – having to time my and my GF O, different sexual libidos, etc. And I’m not completely out of the woods. I am still so insecure about this and know that doubt will come into my mind again.</p><p>But I only know one thing — PMO is no longer an option. I just can’t do it anymore. One last aside. A couple of days ago my GF and I watched the movie Thanks for Sharing. That movie is about sex addiction but there’s a LOT in common with our problems (as porn and masturbation addiction are often also problems of sex addicts). My GF told me after watching it she felt a lot more understanding of the journey I was going through. Since she was sitting next to me she also said I was sweating a lot through the movie. I believe that was because it was uncomfortably accurate. So we had some more serious and frank discussions about the addiction and the recovery process.</p><p>I told her that while I’ve been tempted to fap I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to fail you guys online, fail the fellow soldiers in the nofap war, fail her, or fail myself. I think about all of those folks I’d let down if I fap and then I don’t. I told her the truth that I’ve had much more difficulty with porn and that I want to give it up for good too. And then she asked me, very sweetly, to give that up for her too. And you know, I’m glad she asked me. Some guys might take it poorly (like the Don Jon character did in that movie) but I know she did it because she loves me and now every time I’m tempted to click a link I don’t want to let her down.</p><p>tl;dr After four months with some severe ups and downs, many of them emotional, am able to have normal sex with all the normal issues that normal people have. The reboot isn’t complete but the journey is the ONLY option I have.</p><hr><p> </p><p><strong>UPDATE2  <a class=–您可以再次回来(由于色情而离婚)

所以,我一生都遇到色情问题。 我最好的朋友在高中时就向我介绍了它,当时我是一个令人讨厌的书呆子,所以我记得花了数小时试图从1200波特调制解调器下载GIF并将其隐藏在我父亲的身边(旁注:我父母的做法只是告诉我这还很糟糕,甚至没有解释为什么不起作用。您还必须假设您的孩子比您更聪明-如果他们想做您不赞成的事情,他们会做的。

我与色情的关系早于我与女性的任何真实关系。 它并没有真正影响我如何对待女性,但它却影响了我如何对待性行为。 最重要的是,我更喜欢没有判断力和按需的性行为,而不是真实性行为的起伏。

因此,尽管我对婚前没有“性别”毫无保留,但我记得那是多么的可怜,我几乎立刻回到了色情片。 在新婚之夜没有做爱,然后十四年,我会和我(现在的前妻)的妻子恐惧做爱,为避免这种情况找借口,然后想去另一个房间找一些东西色情片。

尽管这不是我恋爱中的唯一问题,但事后看来,这是其中很大的一部分,可能是90%。 而且甚至没有缺乏性,实际上是缺乏亲密感。 当我(现在是前妻)的妻子要求离婚时,我感到不安,现在,我会想一想为什么她要等这么久,我为什么允许呢?

因此,在离婚程序中,我确实看到一位婚姻咨询师正确诊断了我的色情问题。 但是我仍然不理会它,特别是因为我二十年来第一次单身,而色情是我一生所熟悉的东西。

然后我遇到了一个完美的女孩,我们发生了性关系。 真令人沮丧。 它又差劲了。 但是这一次,我不会只是假设“就是那样”。 我需要弄清楚出了什么问题,因为我和前妻一起假设“如果你有爱,性就没有必要”或类似的胡话。 我现在知道,幸福,充实的性生活是建立长期恋爱关系的必要条件。

那时我遇到了nofap和无色情论坛,并读了一些关于像我这样的人的故事。 这是一条漫长的道路,中间反复出现,但我一直试图放弃色情和色情活动已经快一年了。 现任女友了解我的问题,并一直给予支持。

自从我一直试图放弃两者以来,我的性生活要好得多(无论如何都不完美),并且能够与她性高潮(我从未与前妻做过)。 总而言之,我又订婚了,这次健康的性生活没有计划的一部分,没有色情和色情。

tl; dr由于PMO成瘾,近二十年来的第一次恋情从内部腐烂,导致离婚。 放弃PMO后能够扭转局面并建立新的关系(**我参与了**)。

所以对于那些觉得你处于低谷的人来说,我们很多人都在那里。 无论你身在何处,都可以转身。