Kodi Zogonana Zosatheka? (2012)

Yakwana nthawi yosiyanitsa 'malingaliro azakugonana' kuchokera ku 'zokonda zakugonana' zosinthika

"Umboni wochuluka wasayansi pakadali pano umavomereza lingaliro loti zoyambitsa zambiri zakugonana sizachikhalidwe koma ndizobadwa nazo." --Leon F. Seltzer

Mawu oterowo amasocheretsa anthu kuti zilakolako zonse zogonana zimalengedwa mofanana ndi zosasinthika. Izi siziri zoona. 

Inde, ziwalo zoberekera nthawi zambiri zimawotcha popanda kuwalamulira. Komabe ochita kafukufuku asonyeza kuti zinyama zikhoza kukhazikitsidwa (ndi nthawi zina kubwezeretsedwa) kuti asinthe malingaliro awo a kugonana ndi chisangalalo chodabwitsa. Ngakhale anthu atha kuwonjezera kapena kupondereza penile erection kapena vagin pulse mu labu pamene anapereka ndalama kulimbitsa ndi / kapena malangizo a mauthenga.

Zoonadi, ambiri a ife timakhala ndi mawu osalunjika pazinthu zathu zogonana (monga zosiyana ndi kugonana kwathu). Ubongo ndi pulasitiki. Choonadi ndi nthawi zonse timaphunzitsa ubongo wathu-Ndipo popanda kutenga nawo mbali. Tingasankhe kupeŵa, kutsata, ndi kusiya kuchita, kukakamiza kuti chikhalidwe chathu chimakhudzidwa makamaka.

Mwachitsanzo, achinyamata ambiri omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa Intaneti chikhalidwe chawo cha kugonana ma pixels-kuti asadzutsidwe ndi omwe angathe kukhala okwatirana nawo (modzidzimutsa). Akusintha kwambiri machitidwe awo ogonana mwanjira zomwe makolo athu sakanatha kuzimvetsa (chifukwa makolo athu analibe mwayi wokhala ndi zongopeka pang'onopang'ono). Chodabwitsa ichi cha zokonda zachiwerewere mwa omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula sizikuwoneka kuti zafufuzidwa konse, chifukwa chake "kuchuluka kwa kafukufuku wasayansi" sikunasinthidwe bwino pakadali pano.

Malingaliro akuti zokonda za kugonana zingathe kukhazikitsidwa mwatsatanetsatane sizongopeka chabe. Mphuno yamphongo ikhoza kukhazikitsidwa kondani mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzanu pomenya dopamine. Ndipo sizitenga nthawi yayitali. Ochita kafukufuku adalowetsa makoswe amphongo ndi dopamine agonist (mankhwala omwe amatsanzira dopamine), kenako adamuyika mu khola ndi wamwamuna wina. Makoswe awiriwo amangocheza limodzi tsiku limodzi. (Dopamine agonist watuluka mu kachitidwe pafupifupi tsiku limodzi.) Ofufuzawo adabwereza izi kawiri, masiku anayi kutalikirana.

Patangopita masiku angapo, mwamuna wobwezeretsedwa anayesedwa. Alibe dopamine agonist m'dongosolo lake, iye anaikidwa mu khola limodzi ndi mwamuna wake wamwamuna ndi makoswe (kumbukirani kuti dopamine inali kunja kwa dongosolo lake). Mukuganiza kuti ndondomekoyi inamupangitsa kwambiri? Iye adayankha zambiri kwa bwenzi lake. Chochititsa chidwi ndi chakuti ngati bwenziyo anali namwaliyo, makoswewo ndi omwe adangosonyeza kuti ali ndi chibwenzi.

Komabe, komanso modabwitsa, ngati bwenzi lake anali khoswe wodziwa zachiwerewere, namwali wokhala ndi ziwonetsero adawonetsa zochulukira, kufufuza zambiri zakumaliseche, ngakhale kupempha ngati akazi-zotsutsana ndi machitidwe azibambo omwe amuna amakhala nawo. Ofufuzawo adatsimikiza kuti makoswe amphongo omwe amachitidwa sanali amuna okhaokha, popeza sanayese kukweza khoswe winayo. Komabe anali atasinthadi. (Kodi uwu ndi umboni woti achikulire angatengere mosavuta machitidwe achichepere ogonana?)

Chosangalatsa ndichakuti, makoswe achikazi sakanakhala okonzedwa motere - amuna okha. Komanso, patatha masiku 45 mayesero onse atayimitsidwa, zikhalidwe zakugonana zidasokonekera ndipo amunawo sanakondere anzawo. Kodi izi zikuthandizira kufotokoza chifukwa chake, pambuyo pa ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula Imani Kulimbitsa zolaula zawo ndi kuwonetsa zolaula, nthawi zambiri amazitcha kuti zawo Zithunzi zolaula zimakonda kusuntha?

Tikuphunzirapo Chiyani? Maseŵera apamwamba a dopamine amatha kubwereza ubongo mwamphamvu ndikusintha zokonda za kugonana. (Posachedwapa, ochita kafukufuku asonyeza Kukhazikika ndi jakisoni mobwerezabwereza wa oxytocin ndi kukhalira komweko kunapangitsanso amuna kuwonetsa kukonda amuna anzawo masiku angapo pambuyo pake - ngakhale atapatsidwa akazi olandila nthawi yomweyo.)

Momwemonso, kupitiliza kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula sikungasinthe malingaliro anu ogonana, koma mungathe kusintha zithunzi zolaula zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Kuwonetsa anthu ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula (chizindikiro chochepa cha dopamine) kufunafuna chirichonse chomwe chingawononge dopamine yawo. Akangozipeza, amatsenga a dopamine, ndi ndondomeko yowonongeka ndi kugonana kwawo wayamba. Ngati iwo amasunga maliseche ku mtundu watsopano, ubongo wosasinthasintha umasinthira maulendo awo ogonana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu asadziwe, ndipo nthawi zambiri amasokoneza zolaula zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta, kapena zosatheka, kuti zifike pachimake ku zokonda zakuyambirira.

Pakadali pano, malingaliro abodza akuti zosankha zolaula ndi "zachilengedwe" osati "zachikhalidwe" zimanyalanyazanso gulu lalikulu la umboni wochokera ku miyambo yambiri zokhudzana ndi chikhalidwe chogonana. Katswiri wamaganizo Kirk Witherspoon akufotokoza kuti:

Kulankhula zakugonana padziko lonse lapansi komanso kupitilira nthawi yodziwika kuli kovomerezeka kosiyanasiyana komwe kumawoneka ngati "kwabwinobwino" kwinakwake. … Chomwe chimaonedwa ngati chabwinobwino nthawi zambiri chimakhala ndi gawo lalikulu lophunzirira (kusamalira), osati kukonzekereratu mwachilengedwe (chilengedwe). Mwachitsanzo, ambiri mwa achiwerewere omwe ndimawawona adadziwitsidwa iwowo adayambitsidwa ali ana - mwina ndi ana ena kapena achikulire. Zina, zachidziwikire, zimatha kukhala zotsogola kwambiri.

Kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti kumatha kukhala "kwachizolowezi" pachikhalidwe chathu pakadali pano, koma tiyenera kukhala osamala tikamaganiza kuti zolaula zomwe timakonda ndizo "zachilengedwe" kapena "zosasintha."

Zosasinthika zotsutsana

Pankhani ya ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ndizolondola kwambiri kuganiza za "zosasinthika" motsutsana ndi "zosinthika." Popeza amalandila nthawi yayitali, kapena kuwonetsedwa munthawi yovuta, amakhazikika ndikanathera kutsogolera zokonda zosasinthika, mwina mwa anthu ena. Komanso, kalembedwe kowoneka-koyambitsa kumakhazikitsidwa kwambiri -kuwonekera, kapena kusasinthika, kudzakhala.

Komabe, "zosintha zogonana" ndizofotokozera mwachidziwikire zomwe zimachitikira ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula / okonda lero. Amafotokozera mosalekeza kukula mpaka kukulimbikitsanso kwambiri. Ngati zokonda zawo m'malo mwake sizingasinthe, amapeza msanga "zoyenera" zawo ndikumamatira mpaka kalekale. M'malo mwake, ambiri amafotokoza kusintha kwakukulu pamachitidwe ndi magwiridwe antchito. Momwe ziliri, zokonda zakugonana zikusintha mwachangu. Wowonera wina adati:

Ndimagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Masiku ano, abambo ndi amai omwe ndimagona nawo akuchita zinthu zomwe zikugwirizana kwambiri ndi zolaula kuposa kugonana. Zinthu zaka khumi zapitazo zinali zosiyana. Posachedwa, mayi yemwe ndimagona naye adandifunsa ngati ndikufuna kuchita naye zogonana. Sindinasangalale nazo (ndi amuna kapena akazi) kotero ndidakana ndipo adawoneka ngati wapumula, ngati ndichinthu chachizolowezi chomwe amayembekezera akazi. Komanso zimatengera kwamuyaya kuti amuna ambiri afike pachimake masiku ano. Chibwenzi changa chomaliza chidadwala mwadzidzidzi ndipo anali wogwiritsa ntchito zolaula kwambiri.

Mnyamata wina adalongosola kuti kukula kwake kunali kosayenera:

Ndinayamba kuyang'ana zolaula, nthawi zonse, pafupi zaka zisanu zapitazo. Choyamba apo anali akazi okongola, kenako HC zolaula, kenako zolowetsa zachilendo, kenako osinthana, kenako otsutsa, kenako ma hermaphrodites, kenako zolaula za achinyamata, kenako zitsanzo zazing'ono ndipo tsopano ndende (posachedwa). Zaka zitadutsa ndinkayamba kukonda kuchita maliseche komanso chidwi chofufuza "zachilendo". Chakumapeto, sindinathe kukhala pakompyuta popanda kufufuza. Sindinaganizepo zakugwira aliyense kapena kuwononga zinsinsi za aliyense (ana anga onse ndi ena atha kuchitira umboni za izi). Ndikayang'ana m'mbuyo, sindikuwona momwe ndikadakhalira osazindikira mpaka kusazindikirae kuti ndinali ndi vuto.

Kumvetsetsa bwino ubongo wamakono, kuledzera komanso momwe tingasinthire zochitika zotere ndizofunika-kuti tisamangidwe ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula ngati ana aang'ono m'malo mowachiza chifukwa cha kugonana kosayenera komanso / kapena kuledzera. Kudziwa bwino za chiopsezo cha zokonda za kugonana kumalimbikitsanso anthu ambiri kuphunzira za zomwe angasankhe ndi kufunafuna thandizo kale. Tawonani zomwe zinachitikira anyamata atatu awa:

Aang'ono - Ndinkakonda zolaula nthawi zonse ndimapita kuzinthu zowopsa kwambiri. Kwa ine anali atsikana achichepere. Kuyambira zaka 10 mpaka 16 wazaka - hentai, mitundu, CP; zinalibe kanthu, ndimazikonda. Sindingaganize zochita nawo chilichonse. Komabe, nthawi zonse ndimakhala womangika pafupi nawo (kuphatikiza mphwanga wanga) chifukwa ndimakhala ndi zovuta zambiri zowasiyanitsa ndi malingaliro anga azakugonana a atsikana ang'onoang'ono. Kuyambira pomwe ndinasiya zolaula, kukoma kwanga mwa akazi kwakhwima kwambiri ndikukula. Ndinkakonda kuyang'ana azimayi omwe anali ndi ziphuphu zazikulu ndikuganiza kuti 'Meh, wokulirapo,' koma posachedwa ndimangoganiza kuti 'Ooh ... Boobies.' Patha milungu ingapo kuchokera pomwe ndimayang'ana mwana wamkazi ndikumuganizira kuti ndi wokongola. TL; DR: Ndikuganiza kuti kudula maliseche pa zolaula pa intaneti kukadakhala kuti kwandithandiza kukonza ephebophilia / pedophilia yanga.

Mapazi - Pang'ono ndi pang'ono adayamba kuzolowera zolaula zamanyazi ndipo pamapeto pake sanathe kuzipeza zogonana. Simudziwa kuti izi ndizochititsa manyazi bwanji. Kenaka ndinafika poti sindinathe kuyang'ana zolaula kwa mwezi ndi theka, ndipo sindinathe kuwombera. Patatha masabata a 6, ndimadzutsa zolimba ndikumagonana kunali ngati masiku akale !!

Femdom - sindinaganize kuti ndidzakhala ndi chizolowezi chogonana. Nthawi zonse ndimaganiza kuti ubongo wanga umangokhala wolimba kuti ungotsegulidwa ndi mwana wanga wamkazi, monga momwe anyamata ogonana amuna okhaokha angatsegulire tambala, ndipo sangayamikire kugonana ndi mkazi. Sindinadziwe kuti chibwana chomwe ndimaganiza kuti chinali cholimba mkati mwanga, chinali chifukwa chongoonera zolaula. Zinali gehena zodzipangira ndekha. Tsopano, patsiku 91 la zolaula / maliseche, ndinakwanitsa kugonana bwino ndi atsikana osiyanasiyana a 3 kumapeto kwa sabata ino, kugonana kotsiriza kumakhala kokhutiritsa kwambiri. Kugonana kwaposachedwa kumeneku kwandichititsa kuti ndizidalira kwambiri kugonana, ndipo kwandichotsera kukayika kulikonse komwe ndinali nako kale pazokhudza kuyambiranso.

Zosankha zakugonana (anapitiriza)

Uthenga wodziwika kuti "kugonana kwathu sikungakhudzidwe ndi zisankho zathu" ndi uthenga wowopsa. Choyamba, limatanthauza kuti kupsinjika mtima kwa ana adakali ana kapena kugonana kwa achikulire / ana kulibe vuto lililonse, chifukwa sikungasinthe chibadwa chathu chogonana. Kodi izi zikuyenera kukhala zowona motani - makamaka makamaka chifukwa cha ubongo wathu waposachedwa kwambiri pazenera zakukula kwachiwerewere? (Onani izi mapepala atsopano pa mphotho ya kugonana ndi zokonda ndi positi yathu N'chifukwa Chiyani Sindiyenera Kuonera Johnny Watch Porn Ngati Amamukonda?) Zonsezi, ntchentche zamphongo zomwe takambirana kale ataya makondomu awo omwe amagonana nawo m'masiku ochepa a 45 popanda mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi khalidwe.

Ndizachidziwikire kuti anthu ena ali ndi chikhalidwe chawo chogonana m'njira zosagwirizana kudzera pazinthu zomwe sangathe kuzilamulira. Kugonana kwa mwana wamkulu ndi njira imodzi, koma taganizirani nkhaniyi kuchokera Ubongo Womwe Umasintha:

Robert Stoller, MD, waku psychoanalyst waku California… adafunsa mafunso anthu omwe amachita zovuta kwambiri za sadomasochism, zomwe zimapweteka kwambiri mthupi, ndipo adazindikira kuti ochita nawo chidwi anali ndi matenda aliwonse ali ana ndipo adalandira chithandizo chamankhwala chamantha, chowopsa, chowawa.

Zosangalatsa zina zogonana ndizosinthika. Chinsinsi ndicho kusiya kuyimitsa (kumapeto kwa) zosafuna zosayenera, ndikusiya khalidwe lina lolimbana nalo. Mwa njira iyi, anthu amadzipezera okha ngati zofuna zosayenera sizikutha pambuyo pake, amati, miyezi itatu kapena isanu ndi umodzi. Psychiatrist Norman Doidge analemba kuti:

Koma odwala [omwe amakumana ndi zolaula zosayenera], ambiri amatha kupita ku ozizira atangomvetsetsa vutoli ndi momwe analilimbitsira pulasitiki. Anapeza kuti pamapeto pake adakopeka ndi abwenzi awo. Palibe mmodzi mwa amunawa omwe anali ndi chizoloŵezi cha mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena mavuto akuluakulu aunyamata, ndipo atadziwa zomwe zikuwachitikira, anasiya kugwiritsa ntchito makompyuta awo kwa nthawi kuti athetse vuto lawo losautsa, komanso chilakolako chawo cha zolaula chinafota.

Zoonadi mapulasitiki amasiyana. Kuyeretsa kumasiyanasiyana ndi anthu omwe ali ndi odwala apulasitiki ochepa:

Chithandizo chawo cha zolaula zomwe anapeza m'zaka za moyo chinali chophweka kwambiri kuposa cha odwala omwe, pa nthawi yovuta [ya chitukuko], adakondwera ndi zovuta zogonana. Komabe ngakhale ena mwa amunawa anali okhoza, monga A., kusintha machitidwe awo okhudzana ndi kugonana, chifukwa malamulo ofanana omwe amachititsa kuti tikhale ndi zovuta zimatithandizanso kuti tikhale ndi thanzi labwino, nthawi zina ngakhale kutaya okalamba athu, ovutitsa. Ndi ubongo wogwiritsira ntchito-kapena-kutaya, ngakhale kumene chilakolako cha kugonana ndi chikondi chikukhudzidwa.

Olemba opaleshoni angakonde kufotokoza zochitika zowonjezera mpaka womaliza kasitomala aloledwa kutenga hiatus yaitali kutsirizira ku zosafuna zosayenera za kugonana, kaya ndi zolaula, kuchita, kapena zokopa. Ngati chidziwitso chimatsimikizirika chosasinthika, ndiye perekani chithandizo chothandizira kulandira, kapena mwinamwake kusamalira moyo wonse.

Kuchiritsa zizolowezi zosokoneza bongo kapena kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula movutikira si "njira zobwezeretsera"

Pakadali pano, pali akatswiri odziwika bwino azakugonana omwe akusankha kuti ngati wina wakhumudwitsidwa ndi zolaula zake (ngakhale zomwe zidangowonekera atagwiritsa ntchito zolaula zambiri) sangachitepo kanthu za iwo… kapena atha kukhala "wobwezera. ” Kuteteza kugonana Kuchokera kuchipatala chobwezeretsa ndi cholinga chabwino, koma ndizosayenerera kuti muzitsatira potsutsana ndi kukonda kugonana ndi zokonda zogonana. Otsatirawa nthawi zambiri sagwirizananso ndi chikhalidwe chogonana komanso dopamine-agonist inachititsa kuti abambo omwe ali okondedwa awo azikhala okondana pakati pa makoswe omwe adakambirana kale.

Mwatsoka, chiphunzitso chakuti "zokonda zonse zachiwerewere ndi zachibadwa" chimabweretsa chinyengo chomwe palibe amene angachisinthe aliyense chilakolako cha kugonana popanda kuwonongeka kosalekeza ku chidziwitso chake chakugonana. Zimathandizanso ku chikhulupiliro chofala kuti ngati zokonda za kugonana do morph, ayenera kukhala akusunthira mbali imodzi yokha: kuyanjana kwambiri ndi chidziwitso chenicheni chakugonana komanso "zolakalaka kwambiri" Ndiye kuti, ngati zokonda zanu zakugonana ziyamba kusintha, chisankho chokhacho ndikupitilizabe kuzolowera (kuzolowera nthawi zina), pokhulupirira kuti nthawi zonse munthu amakhala akuyandikira chilakolako chosasinthika cha kugonana - ndikukwaniritsidwa kwamuyaya.

Komabe monga tawonera, zokonda zogonana nthawi zambiri zimayambitsa kukula (kulolerana) osati kukwaniritsidwa. Izi zidachitikiranso bambo wa sexology wamakono, Alfred C. Kinsey:

Panali china chake choyipa munjira yomwe Kinsey anali kuyandikira zogonana, osati m'moyo wake wachinsinsi komanso pakafukufuku wake. M'magawo onse awiriwa, anali kumangokakamira, monga munthu yemwe anali atayamba kusuta. Zogonana zomwe zidachitika mchipinda chake [machitidwe achisoni ndi amuna omwe amamukonda] zinali zotengera ndale. … Komabe sikuti adangopitiliza kufotokozera magawo awa koma adaonjezeranso zoopsa ndikupanga zojambula. (Biography: Alfred C. Kinsey ndi JH Jones)

Izi ndi zomwe Kinsey mwiniwake adanena, kutengera zomwe adakumana nazo:

Auzeni abwenzi anu osasamala kuti azisamala kwambiri. Thupi la munthu limasintha mofulumira ndipo mafunde akhoza kukula mofulumira.

Kodi Kinsey angachenjeze anthu ena omwe akufunafuna kukakamiza kwambiri ngati akukhulupirira kuti akutsatira khalidwe lake lachiwerewere? Mwinamwake ayi-makamaka ngati adafufuza kafukufuku waposachedwa za matenda a ubongo ndi chidziwitso cha chizoloŵezi choledzera, ndipo adawona kuti ndilofunika kwa iye yekha.

Kusakhudzidwa kwa ochitira makasitomala pogwiritsa ntchito kumvetsa ubongo wamaphunziro kumawathandiza. Iwo akulefuka kuti azindikire ngati akubweretsa zokonda zawo za kugonana paokha ndi kupambanitsa.

Chisinthiko chimayendetsedwa ndi kugonana (kupitirira kwa majini)

Monga wofufuza James G. Pfaus akufotokoza, kuthetsa nzeru kwathunthu mu kugonana kwathu sikungatheke, chifukwa zikanakhala zovuta kwambiri kusinthika:

Zovuta zakusintha zimasinthira mtengo ndi phindu pamakhalidwe aliwonse, ndipo zokumana nazo ndi mphotho (mwinanso chilango) zimasunga kuchuluka kwa phindu. … Chiwerengerochi chingasinthe m'malo osiyanasiyana achilengedwe, nthawi zina mwachangu kwambiri. Iwo omwe atha kuphunzira kuyankha pakangosintha mwadzidzidzi… atulutsa mwa iwo omwe sanaphunzire.

Pfaus wasonyeza kuti ziweto zogonana zimatha kukhazikitsidwa ndi kununkhira, chovala ndi malo omwe wofufuza amasankha (ngakhale kununkhira kwa mnofu wowonongeka). Kuphatikiza apo, kukhudzika kwambiri kwakugonana kumalimbitsa kulumikizana kwa neural.

Lalumière ndi Quinsey (1998) adanena kuti anthu okwatirana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amawoneka kuti ali ndi ziwalo zogonana. Gulu lolamulira limene linalandira mwayi wopita ku chithunzicho (popanda vidiyo) inasonyeza habituation [m'malo].

Mwanjira ina, Playboy chinali zosangalatsa zosangalatsa; Vuto lalikulu ndi maphunziro a ubongo. Kwa ogwiritsa ntchito ena, maphunzirowa a ubongo amatsogolera zokhudzana ndi zoledzeretsa zomwe zimachotsa mphamvu ndikuthandizira munthu kubwereza khalidwe-osati chifukwa amachikonda kapena chifukwa chakuti amayamba kugonana-koma chifukwa ubongo wake uli ndi njira zowonongera za mphotho "zamtengo wapatali" zoterezi. (Thandizo lakuwonetsetsa mwina siligwira ntchito chifukwa m'malo mokomera, amapeza zovuta-motero kulimbikitsa njira zosafunika mu ubongo wake.)

Ubongo wa mammalian umapangitsa vutoli, chifukwa zimakhala zosavuta kugwera kupitirira kwakukulu kuposa momwe zimakanira kukopeka kopitilira muyeso mokomera. Komabe ubongo wathu umakhala ndi pulasitiki mpaka kalekale. Akapanda kutero, osokoneza bongo sakanakhoza kuchira. (Nthawi zambiri amatero.)

Kutsiliza

Kumvetsetsa kwaumunthu zakugonana kwakhala kusokonekera kwanthawi yayitali chifukwa chotsutsana kosatha pakati pa ophunzitsira, akazi komanso okonda kusiyanasiyana. Phokoso lawo limatipangitsa kuti tisasanthule kwathunthu zakugonana-ndi zosankha zathu. Kumvetsa momwe pulasitiki ndi chikhalidwe cha kugonana zimagwirira ntchito mwa anthu zikanawululira zoopsa za kulimbikitsa kuchokera onse kuponderezana ndi kupambanitsa.

Tithokoze chifukwa cha sayansi yaposachedwa komanso zovuta zomwe anthu omwe adagwiritsa ntchito zolaula adakumana nazo pothana ndi zofuna zawo zakugonana, anthu tsopano ali okonzeka kumvetsetsa zakugonana malinga ndi sayansi. Yakwana nthawi yopuma pantchito kuti, "Zomwe ndimasankha posankha maliseche nthawi zonse zimatsimikizira kuti ndine munthu wogonana."

Mitundu yonse yazinyama ndi zokumana nazo zenizeni za anthu (lero komanso m'mbiri yonse) zimatiwonetsa kuti ambiri a ife do mayankho achiwerewere, ngakhale nthawi zambiri popanda cholinga chochita zimenezi. Kapena pulasitiki siyeneranso kukhala njira imodzi yokha yomwe ikuwonekera kwambiri. Zosankha zathu.

Neuroscience itha kupereka maziko olimba omwe tonsefe titha kugwira ntchito kuti tikwaniritse ufulu weniweni wa chilakolako cha kugonana. Kungakhale kupanda nzeru kunyalanyaza maumboniwo kuti tigwiritsitse ng'ombe yopatulika ya "zokonda zosagonana zosasinthika."

(Zindikirani: Izi ndizo gawo lachiwiri la yankho pamndandanda wa Seltzer on Maganizo Oipa Ambiri Biliyoni.)

Onaninso -

Funso Lofunika Kwambiri

Yovomerezedwa ndi radoA pa Tue, 01 / 15 / 2013

Moni aliyense,

Ndangolembetsa pano koma ndadziwa tsamba ili kwakanthawi ndipo ndawerenga zolemba zambiri ndi ndemanga za mamembala patsamba lino komanso kuchokera ku psychology-lero. Ndikuganiza kuti ntchito yanu ndi yofunika kwambiri komanso yothandiza chifukwa ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti mudziwe zambiri kwa anthu, makamaka kwa achinyamata.
Koma zokwanira zokwera kuzungulira chitsamba.
Zomwe ndakhala ndikudzifunsa kuyambira pomwe ndakhala ndikuwerenga zolemba zokhudzana ndi zomwe ndimakonda (zomwe ndakumanapo nazo) ndi izi:

Kodi zimabwera bwanji ngakhale kuti olemba zithunzi zolimbitsa thupi kwambiri amayamba kusintha zolaula ndikupita patsogolo kuzinthu zolemetsa, zosiyana siyana zimapita kumatenda osiyanasiyana?

Kodi izi sizikusonyeza kuti ngakhale kuti zolaula kapena zolaula zimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi izi, kuti payenera kukhala mtundu wina womwe umapangitsa kuti anthu azitengera mitundu ina? Chifukwa chiyani mwachitsanzo anthu ena amayamba kuonera makanema ndi atsikana ang'onoang'ono pomwe ena amapita ku bdsm ndi zinthu zina?

Kuchokera pazochitikira zanga ndingathe kunena kuti ndinayamba kuyang'ana zinthu zowopsya kwambiri zachikazi koma ziribe kanthu kuchuluka kwa zolaula zomwe ndimayang'ana sindingaganize zopita kwa ana kapena amayi onenepa kwambiri (osakhumudwitsa aliyense). Zinthu zimenezo sizimanditembenuzira ngakhale pang'ono.

Kodi izi sizikutanthauza kukangana kuti zokondazo sizimawoneka pena paliponse (kapena pankhaniyi yogwiritsa ntchito zolaula) koma m'malo mwake zikuwonetsa zizolowezi zabwinobwino za munthuyo? Kapena tingafotokoze bwanji izi?

Ndimayamikira kwambiri yankho!
Tithokozeretu!

Mafunso abwino

Yankho pa Tue, 01 / 15 / 2013

Kugonana kwaumunthu ndi "kotheka kwambiri" kuposa momwe akatswiri anazindikira. Palinso mazenera ovuta a chitukuko, pomwe mabungwe amapita patali "mozama" (ndikuwonetsa kuwuma mtima kwawo kuti asinthe).

Ena ali muubwana, ndipo amakumbukira zonse (osazindikira). Mwachitsanzo, kukwapula mwanjira inayake kumayambitsa chidwi chamunthu, pamakhala maziko ena. (Ndikuganiza kuti katswiri wazamisala Norman Doidge akukambirana za izi m'buku lake Ubongo Womwe Umasintha, makamaka kuchokera ku mutu womwewo.)

Kenaka kumabwera msinkhu komanso kukumbukira zinthu zopanda pake kumapeza mphamvu, ndikulimbikitsana ndi mbali iliyonse yogwirizana, ngakhale yosadziwika, yowutsa.

Kenako pakubwera maliseche komanso mayanjano ndi mayiko okwera kwambiri. Apa ndipomwe zolaula zoyipa kwambiri zimatha kuyambitsa zokonda zamakhalidwe abwino. Momwe kukhudzika mtima kumayamba, ubongo umafuna dopamine yambiri kudzera zachilendo, kufunafuna, kudodometsa, kuletsa, kinkier, ndi zina zotero Posakhalitsa munthu sangathe kusiya zokonda zoyambirira. Zowopsa kwambiri, koma nthawi zambiri zimasinthidwa ndikuletsa zolaula / zolaula zonse.

Ngati mumakonda sayansi, nayi nkhani yabwino kwambiri yolemba ndi wofufuza (wamwamuna yemwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha) yemwe amafufuza magawo osiyanasiyana azikhalidwe zakukonda pambuyo pake. Pfaus_Sexual_Reward_2012.pdf Awa ndi malo atsopano kwenikweni - ndipo samatchuka kwenikweni ndi akatswiri azakugonana komanso othandizira ena omwe mtundu wawo ndikuti zokonda zakugonana nthawi zonse zimakhala zachilengedwe. Nyengo. Pfaus akuwonetsa kuti kusakhazikika koteroko kungakhale njira yotaya chisinthiko. Ogulitsa ma jini opambana amatha kusintha kutengera zochitika zatsopano.

Funso lochititsa chidwi kwambiri ndi lakuti: Kodi munthu amasankhapo nthawi yochuluka bwanji? Izi zingadalire pazifukwa zambiri:

  • ubongo wapadera (ena ndi apulasitiki kuposa ena),
  • zaka zanu
  • pamene bungwe linakhazikitsidwa,
  • kuchuluka kwake kunalimbikitsidwa,
  • Momwe mukulilirana kuti simukupitirizabe kupita,
  • mumakhala osamala kwambiri pogwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu ndikukulimbikitsani do akufuna kubwereranso, ndi zina zotero.

Ubongo wanu unasinthika ndi feteleza ngati chinthu chofunikira kwambiri, kotero ngati simupitiliza kupita (kapena kulingalira za) zomwe simukufuna kulumikizana nazo, pamapeto pake ubongo wambiri umayamba kuyang'ana kwina, ndipo ngati palibe chowotcha, Zizindikiro za "vanila" pang'onopang'ono zimayamba kuwoneka zokopa kwambiri. Zachidziwikire, izi sizimangochitika mwadzidzidzi. Ubongo ndi "pulasitiki," osati "wamadzi." Mnyamata wina anafotokoza zomwe akutsutsana nazo:

Ndikuganiza kuti ife omwe sitinakhalepo (kapena pafupifupi konse) tinakhala ndi zogonana zogonana komanso maubale amayenera kupitiliza njira yowonjezeranso ndi akazi enieni. Kubwezeretsanso [kusiya zolaula / maliseche] kuli ngati kusinthiratu hard drive kuti muwononge kachilombo, koma osakhala ndi makina atsopano oti musinthe. Osangotengera momwe timachitira ndi zowonera, komanso kulumikizana komanso malingaliro okhudzana ndi akazi enieni. Ndili pa mulingo ziro zikafika apa… kutsika kuposa zero, kwenikweni.

Ndipo kwa anthu ena, atha kukhala kuti mayanjano osafunidwa anali molawirira kwambiri, kapena kuledzera kwakukulu, kuti angayambirenso. Ndiye kuvomereza ndikuwongolera ndizotheka. Koma zitha kukhala zopindulitsa kwambiri, kapena maphunziro, kuwongolera zomwe mukufuna kwa miyezi ingapo, ndikuwona zosintha zomwe zikuchitika. Apanso, zinthu zosasinthasintha. Anyamata nthawi zina amadabwa ndi kusintha komwe amakumana nako.

Asanalembere Kodi Zogonana Zosatheka? tilembanso Kodi Mungakhulupirire Johnson Wanu?, zomwe mungapeze zosangalatsa.

Zimapindulitsanso kumvetsetsa kusiyana pakati pa "kulimbikitsa" ndi "kukhumudwitsa." Chachiwiri chimachiritsa mwachangu kuposa choyambacho. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kugonana kwabwinobwino kudzakhala kotheka musanataye chidwi chanu ndi zomwe mumakonda. Amatha kutenga nthawi yayitali kuti iwonongeke. Nayi nkhani yabwino yokhala ndi mawu ochokera kwa anyamata ambiri omwe amalankhula za momwe zimamvekera akamadzimva kuti "njira zolimbikitsidwa" zimafooka ndikusowa. N'chifukwa Chiyani Ndimapeza Zithunzi Zosangalatsa Kwambiri Kuposa Wogwirizana Naye?

Mwanjira ina, ngakhale mwana wamwamuna atapachikidwa kwakanthawi, sizitanthauza kuti ndiye "inu" mosasunthika. Itha kungokhala njira yolimba yolimbikitsidwa yaubongo, yomwe ingafune miyezi kapena ngakhale zaka zingapo kuti ifooke.

Gawani zomwe mukukumana nazo mukupita patsogolo. Zimathandiza aliyense kugwira ntchito zofanana.