Simukudziwa momwe mungadziseweretse maliseche popanda zolaula? Funsani aliyense wazaka zoposa 40! Kumbukirani: makolo anu analibe intaneti. Chifukwa chake sanagwere mumsampha wosintha mawonekedwe awo ogonana kuti agwirizane ndi chilichonse chokhudzana ndi kugwiritsa ntchito kwawo zolaula , monga kuonera zolaula, ma tabu angapo, kuwonera HD molimbika, kusaka/kufunafuna, zinthu zatsopano zosatha. Zitha kuphatikizaponso zithunzi zolaula, zochita zachilendo, kudabwa, kudabwa, nkhawa, ndi zina zotero. Ogwiritsa ntchito azaka amayamba kuonera zolaula. Ubongo wa wachinyamata uli pachimake pa kupanga dopamine ndi opioid komanso neuroplasticity, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti akhale pachiwopsezo chachikulu cha chizolowezi komanso kugonana . N'zothekanso kuti sanadziseweretse maliseche pafupifupi ngati amuna masiku ano. Onani Kudziseweretsa maliseche, Zongopeka ndi Kugwidwa ndi Zizolowezi Zachilendo Zodziseweretsa maliseche.
Kuyankha kwanu pa nkhani ya kugonana kuyenera kuwonjezeka kokha pamene ubongo wanu ukubwerera ku chidziwitso chokwanira. Simuyenera kuchita chilichonse kuti izi zitheke; yankho lake ndi kusachita . Komabe, mungapindule ndi kusintha chilakolako chanu cha kugonana kukhala cha anthu enieni (monga momwe zikanakhalira mwachibadwa musanayambe unyamata pa intaneti). Ngakhale izi zimathandiza aliyense kuchira, zitha kukhala gawo lofunika kwambiri kwa anyamata achichepere omwe alibe chidziwitso chogonana. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kugonana kuti "mugwirizanenso." (onani- Kodi ndiyenera kugonana kuti mugwirizanenso? ). Ndipotu, pang'onopang'ono kudziwana ndi munthu mwina ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri. Kugona movutikira, kuseka, kucheza, chilichonse chomwe mungachite kuti mulumikize chilakolako cha kugonana ndi chikondi ndi munthu weniweni, kungakhale kofunikira kuti muchiritse.
Nazi zomwe mwamuna wina adawona zokhudza momwe maliseche analili popanda zolaula:
Ndazindikira kuti ndasintha luso langa lofika pachimake pogwira chilakolako cha kugonana. Pamene ndinayamba kutha msinkhu ndinkayesa kuona momwe ndingathe kudzikhudzira ndekha pang'onopang'ono ndikufikira pachimake. Pamene ndinkachita izi sindinkayang'ana zolaula kapena kuganiza mozama. Zonse zinali zokhudzana ndi kumva zosangalatsa zomwe zimachitika m'thupi langa, ndipo izi zinkangokulirakulira mpaka nditafika pachimake. Ndikuganiza kuti izi sizachilendo chifukwa mnzanga wina anandiuza kuti adachitanso zomwezo. Kwathu kunali zolaula zambiri kotero ndinayamba kudalira kuti zindithandize kumasuka. Ndikuganiza kuti kenako ndinadziphunzitsa kuti ndizitha kudzikhudzira ndekha kudzera mu zolaula ndi kuganiza mozama. (Akusintha izi tsopano.)
Mnyamata wina:
Mosiyana ndi ambiri a inu, sindine wosuta. Osachepera, sindimadzizindikira kuti ndine m'modzi. Monga wamwamuna wamba, waku America, wamwamuna wazaka 24, ndinali wosuta. Sindinayambe ndalowapo m'malo ovuta kapena opondereza kuposa momwe ndimayembekezera kuti ine ndi bwenzi langa tizichita.
Ndinatha kuzimva, koma sindinathe kuchoka pantchito yamanja ndipo pamapeto pake ndinayamba kufewa. Ngakhale wophulika samatha kumaliza ntchitoyi. Izi zinali kutali ndi zomwe ndimayembekezera, koma ndidapeza tsambali nditatembenukira kwa yemwe amadziwa zonse- GOOGLE!
Poyamba ndinkakayikira. Ndidamvapo za filosofi yofananira pa reddit (palibe fap) ndipo ndidawona TedTalk ikukambirana izi. Komabe, mpaka nditalowa m'thumba ndi mtsikana weniweni, zinalibe kanthu. Ndinalibe zikwangwani kuti ndikhoza kudzizindikiritsa ndekha. Monga ndanenera kale, sindimadziona ngati wosuta. Kugonana sikunali tsiku lililonse, ndimangochita zomwe ndimachita ndikadziseweretsa maliseche.
Ndinkadziseweretsa maliseche ka 5-7 pa sabata kutengera zomwe ndinkachita, ndipo zimenezo zinali choncho. Sindinakhalepo ndi vuto lalikulu lotsika. Sindinakhalepo ndi vuto lililonse ndi ED, ndipo zikomo Mulungu kuti kuchedwa kutulutsa umuna ndiye vuto lenileni lomwe ndinali nalo. Mbolo yanga inayamba kufewa patapita kanthawi inali yokhumudwitsa kwambiri, ngakhale ndikanapita osayambiranso, mwina pamapeto pake ikanayamba kukula kwambiri. Chinthu chofunikira chomwe ndikukhulupirira kuti chinapangitsa ulendo wanga kukhala wosavuta ndichakuti nthawi zonse sindinkapita ku zolaula. Ndinayamba ndekha, popanda zolaula. Nthawi zina ndinkadziseweretsa maliseche ndi maganizo anga okhudza anthu enieni mwina chifukwa ndinalibe mwayi wopeza zolaula kapena sindinkafuna zolaula usiku umenewo. ( Zaka 24 - Sindinayambe kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, koma ndinayamba kuchedwa kutulutsa umuna: Zachiritsidwa.)
Amuna ena amadikirira maloto awiri osadziletsa popanda kuphwanya maliseche, kotero amatha kuona zomwe zingakhale nthawi yachibadwa kwa matupi awo.
M'munsimu muli ndemanga zowonetsera za zotsatira za zolaula pazembwere. Ndikuganiza kuti imatenga zambiri zomwe tikuyesera kudutsa pa tsamba ili:
Mutu: Chifukwa ndi zotsatira. Ndakhala ndikuwerenga nkhanizi mwachidwi, komanso ndimachita nawo zanga zotsutsana ndi zolaula / zotsutsana ndi maliseche. Nazi zomwe ndakhala ndikuganiza: zinthu ziwiri, zolaula komanso maliseche, zikuwoneka kuti zimalumikizidwa nthawi zonse chifukwa chazomwe zimayambitsa zovuta zomwe amuna amalemba. Ndazindikira kuti amuna samayang'ana zolaula popanda kuseweretsa maliseche. Komabe, kodi pakhala pali kuyesayesa kulikonse koti ndi zolaula ndi maliseche, zolaula / kuseweretsa maliseche, kapena maliseche okha, zomwe zitha kukhala chifukwa cha vutoli? Ndikuzindikira kuti iyi ndi nkhani yatsopano, ndipo maphunziro ambiri sanachitike. Zikuwoneka ngati kuchokera pamawonekedwe asayansi, wofufuzayo angafune kuyeseza izi kuti akonze zotsatira. Ndikulankhula kuchokera pazomwe ndakumana nazo, ndimaganiza kuti zolaula zake ndizomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu akhale wosavomerezeka, osati maliseche. Chinthu chosamvetsetseka chomwe ndikupeza pazochita zanga ndikuti popanda zolaula, sindimamva ngati kuseweretsa maliseche ngakhale nditayesa, sindinadzutse mokwanira kuti ndizichita maliseche. Maganizo anga saganiziranso, monga momwe zimakhalira ndili mwana masiku asanachitike zolaula. Ndine wokonda kudziwa ngati, patatha mwezi umodzi kapena iwiri, moyo wanga wosangalatsa wabwerera. Ndimakhala ngati ndaziphonya.
Nawa ndemanga za anyamata awiri zakusiyana pakati pa maliseche opanda zolaula:
Ngati ndikungoseweretsa maliseche, ndiye kuti nditha kumangomverera bwino pambuyo pake, koma ngati ndimagwiritsa ntchito zolaula, ndimamva kuti ndikunyansidwa. Ndikulingalira zomwe ndikuzindikira ndikuti ngati zikuwoneka ngati kufunikira kwaubwenzi, malingaliro amakhala abwinoko kapena osasangalatsa kwenikweni. Koma ndikamagwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndichifukwa chakuti ndasankha kusiya kudziletsa ndikulowa mchikakamizo champhamvu kwambiri, mwina ubongo wanga umalimbikitsidwa kwambiri, zomwe zitha kuchititsa kuti pakhale zovuta pambuyo pake.
Chinthu chochititsa chidwi kwambiri chomwe ndinazindikira nditasiya zolaula chinali chovuta kwambiri kuchita maliseche popanda zolaula. Ndikuganiza kuti ndizomwe ndinganene kwa munthu amene akufuna kusiya zolaula koma akupitilizabe kuseweretsa maliseche. Mwina simukufuna, kapena kutha, kuseweretsa maliseche opanda zolaula. Pafupifupi mwezi umodzi nditasiya zolaula, sindinathe kuvuta maliseche, ndipo "nditawakakamiza" ziphuphu zanga zinali zosasangalatsa. Mwamwayi, kugonana ndi mkazi wanga kunakula msanga nditangoyamba zolaula. Chifukwa chake sindinaphonye maliseche kwambiri.
Kumbukirani Lube!
Pafupifupi masiku a 40 popanda kuphwanya kapena kujambula zithunzi, ndimaseweretsa maliseche ndipo inali yabwino kwambiri yomwe mwina ndimakhala nayo iliyonse. Ndinazindikira kuti ndakhala ndikugonjetsa moyo wanga wonse! Mafuta ambiri omwe amachokera ku Lube ndikumvetsetsa bwino ndizo zonse zomwe mukufunikira. Osatinso za Darth Vader chokehold, koma kukhudzidwa kwa thupi.
Mnyamata wina:
Nayi munthu wina yemwe ali ndi mbiri yabwino yokhudza kusiyana pakati pa maliseche opanda zolaula:
M'masabata anayi omaliza kuyambira pozindikira kuti PMO ndi gawo lopweteka kwambiri pa moyo wanga, ndabwereranso kachiwiri, ndipo ndinapanga zatsopano zokhudzana ndi kugonana.
Pafupifupi milungu iwiri nthawi yanga yoyamba popanda PMO, ndidakumana ndi zovuta zambiri zakugonana. Usiku wina ndidagona pabedi, ndikumva kuwawa kuti ndizigwire kapena kuyang'ana china chake chodzutsa chilakolako. Thupi langa linali ndimatenda azambiri, ndipo ndimaganiza kuti zomwe zandichitikira zitha kundipangitsa kuti ndizisangalala zokha! Nditadzuka m'mawa wotsatira, ndinali ndisanalote, ndipo sindinamve 'kulira' komwe ndimakhala nako nditatha gawo la PMO. Koma ndimadziwa chinthu chimodzi: thupi langa limalirira zogonana. Kugonana kwenikweni.
Apa ndipomwe zinthu zimakhala zovuta kwambiri, popeza sindili pachibwenzi. Chifukwa chake ndidayesa china chosiyana - M ndi O opanda P - zomwe sindidaganizirepo. Ine sindinayambe ndagonanapo kwenikweni, ndiye izi zimayenera kugwira ntchito bwanji?
Patangotha masiku awiri, ndinawonjezera P ku MO ndikudandaula ndikubweranso.
Zochitika ziwirizi zinali zosiyana kwambiri. Momwemo MO inangodabwitsa kwambiri pamapeto, chifukwa ndinalibe chibwibwi, panalibe kusintha kwa maganizo. Icho chinakhala kukhala kumverera kokoma, kokondweretsa.
Gawo lonse la PMO limamva ngati ndili pa DRUG. Chithunzi chilichonse chimasandutsa thupi langa kuphulika, chilichonse chatsopano champhamvu kuposa chomaliza. Ndimamva ngati "kutuluka kwa dope" kutuluka muubongo wanga kupyola thupi langa. Mwadzidzidzi ndimatha kumva ndikumva ZONSE zolimba kwambiri. Ndiye zidakhala ngati mtambo wanzeru udasesa moyo wanga, ndipo zonse zidachita dzanzi. Kumverera kumeneko kunakhala kwamuyaya. Monga, masiku awiri osachepera.
Kuwerenga za zinthu zonsezi pano pa YBOP chinali chinthu chimodzi, koma kukumana nazo, ndikukhala ndi mwayi wodziwitsa… Zinali zowunikiradi.
Kupeza ndondomeko yodziseweretsa maliseche popanda zolaula kungakhale kovuta, koma vuto limenelo ndi lomwe anthu akhala akukumana nalo kwa nthawi yaitali. Onani Kodi pali malangizo aliwonse okhudza kudziseweretsa maliseche moyenera? Ingoyang'anirani ngati pali kuwonjezeka kosafunikira. Izi zikuchokera ku NoFap Academy newsletter:
Mukuganiza bwanji za ine maliseche okumbukira zomwe zimachitika ndikamagonana nthawi zonse (ndiye kuti, palibe kuphatikiza zolaula kapena china chilichonse) ndi mnzanga weniweni? Pakadali pano tili patali, ndipo ndimamva kuti ndikungoganiza za mnzanga 1-2 kamodzi pa sabata ndikuthandizira kuti ndisiye zolaula. Ndikufuna kuthetsanso maliseche, koma zolaula ndiye mdani weniweni pano. Kodi ndikuchepetsa kuyambiranso? Sindingathe kuwona izi kukhala zosakhala bwino, koma malingaliro anu ndiotani?
Zimakhala zovuta kuti munthu wakale "wokonda zolaula" azikhala ndi chizolowezi chobweretsa maliseche - chomwe si kupititsa patsogolo maliseche popanda kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kapena zongoyerekeza zolaula. Ndinalembapo kale chifukwa ndikukhulupirira kuti zolaula zomwe zimakhalapo muubongo zimakhalapo kwanthawi yayitali, makamaka popeza ambiri mwaomwe timagwiritsa ntchito zolaula pa intaneti tidaphunzira kuyanjana ndi makompyuta athu kuyambira ali aang'ono kwambiri.
Nthawi zonse ndikadziuza kuti ndimangoseweretsa maliseche osabwereranso ku zolaula, sizinatenge nthawi kuti kuseweretsa maliseche kumandisangalatsa. Ndikanakhala ndikuganiza za zokumbukira zenizeni zenizeni kumayambiliro, koma ubongo wanga umadumphadumpha ndikukumbukira zoonera zolaula & malingaliro osatheka. Kuchokera pamenepo zitha kubweretsa zopeka, zithunzi zamatsenga, kenako ndikubwerera ku makanema olaula (onani momwe zikukwera?).
Kwa ine ndekha, ndine wamkulu wotsutsa wa ozizira-Turkey. Mofanana ndi omwe amamwa mowa mwauchidakwa sangabwererenso ku chikho kwa moyo wawo wonse, ena omwe amamwa mowa mwauchidakwa amakhala ovuta kubwerera kumaliseche. Ndikuganiza kuti Fapstronauts angabwerere ku chizoloŵezi chodzisangalatsa pambuyo pochita zovuta za NoFap, koma kwa anthu ambiri zimatenga nthawi yaitali kuposa masiku a 90 a kudziletsa.
Sindikutsutsa zotsutsa. Ngati mumakhulupirira kuti sizowononga kuti muli ndi ubale wanu kapena mbali zina za moyo wanu, sindikuwuzani kuti musachite. Koma ingokumbukira kuti zikuwoneka ngati otsetsereka ndipo ndi zophweka kuti mubwerere ku zizolowezi zakale. Mukawona kuti malingaliro anu akutsutsa malingaliro opanda pake kapena zochitika zolaula, mwinamwake ndi nthawi yopuma pang'ono.
Buku ili likufotokoza ubwino wodziseweretsa maliseche popanda maloto. “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
Pomaliza, chenjezo lochokera kwa munthu amene anayesa kugwiritsa ntchito maliseche popanda zolaula mwamsanga pakubwezeretsanso :
Ndamaliza kuyesa kwanga kwachiwiri masiku angapo apitawa ndipo ndidayamba kumwa zolaula zolaula masiku atatu. Kuyesera kwanga kwa 2st kunatenga masiku pafupifupi 3 ndipo kuyesa kwanga kwa 1nd kunatha masiku a 30. Kubwereranso pambuyo poyesa kwachiwiri kunali kokhumudwitsa kwambiri ndipo kunandipangitsa kuti ndiziwononga sabata iliyonse, koma ndabwerera kuti ndiwombere.
Pa zoyesayesa zoyambirira, ndinangopatula zolaula. Ndinapitiliza kugonana ndikukhala ndi maliseche nthawi zina, koma mobwerezabwereza kuposa kale. Kuchita maliseche kunandichititsa kuti ndiwonongeke nthawi zonse ndipo ndikulephera kuchira chifukwa chowoneka kuti ndi njira yothetsera zolaula.
Nditha kusankha 'kuseweretsa maliseche kamodzi kuti ndithetse mavuto.' Izi zitha kuyenda bwino, chifukwa chake ndimaganiza zodzachitanso masiku angapo pambuyo pake. Koma, zolaula zimangobwerera m'mutu mwanga kuyesanso kwachiwiri ndipo ndimatha kuseweretsa maliseche kuti ndikhale ndi malingaliro owoneka bwino. Nthawi yotsatira, ndimayamba kuyang'ana zithunzi zolaula pa intaneti ndikuseweretsa maliseche. Ndidadzitsimikizira kuti sizinali zolaula, ndiye zinali bwino.
Monga momwe mungaganizire, nthawi yotsatira ndinaganiza zolaula, ndinayamba kugonana ndi zolaula. Choncho, nthawi ino idzakhala yopeweratu kuonera zolaula, maliseche, ndi kugonana.
Izi ndi zomwe munthu wina adanena (yemwe adayambiranso ntchito bwino, akuganiza kuti atha kugwiritsanso ntchito zolaula ... ndipo adakumananso ndi vuto lake la miyezi yambiri):
Sindingadandaule ndi kuseweretsa maliseche ngati n'kosapeweka. Koma ziyenera kukhala popanda zolaula. Tsopano ndikuopa kuseweretsa maliseche ngati ndikugwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Ndikudziwa kale kuchokera ku zomwe ndakumana nazo posachedwapa kuti ngati ndiseweretsa maliseche ndikuonera zolaula, ndingachite izi mosalekeza kwa masiku ambiri. " Kuseweretsa maliseche " kudzakhala kwamphamvu kwambiri.
Mungapezenso nkhani izi zothandiza:
- Kuphunzira luso la "kukumbukira" maliseche (Katswiri wa ku UK Paula Hall)
- Ganizirani za Zina, Osati Zochitika
- Kusinkhasinkha Zodabwitsa za Amakhalidwe Odala Amaliseche
- N'chifukwa chiyani kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo (kutaya nthawi yaitali ndi zala) kuopsa kwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo?