Makhalidwe abwino sali kumene ife tikuganiza kuti izo zimachita
Izi ndizokhudzana ndi zamakhalidwe, koma osati zokhudzana ndi chikhalidwe. Ndi momwe kampasi yanu yamkati imagwirira ntchito. Mulimonse momwe mungakhalire, ngati inu kapena okondedwa anu nthawi zina mumachita zinthu zosemphana ndi malamulo, werengani.
Zosankha zamakhalidwe (kuphatikizapo zogonana) sizimapereka "malingaliro" ena muubongo. Iwo amadalira makina aubongo omwe amakhudzira onse zosankha: oyang'anira mphoto zathu.
“Asayansi ku yunivesite ya Harvard apeza kuti anthu akhoza kupanga zovuta kusankha zochita pogwiritsa ntchito maofesi a ubongo monga omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito mu zosankha zambiri zokhudzana ndi ndalama ndi chakudya.
Ma circuits awa, omwe amapezekanso munyama zina, amaphatikizira magawo awiri ofunikira: Ndizabwino kapena zoyipa bwanji zomwe zingachitike? Kodi ndi zovuta zotani zomwe zingachitike, kutengera kusankha kwanu? ”
Kapangidwe komwe adaphunzira ndizazigawo zonse zamaubwino ampikisano wamaubongo: ventral striatum, insula ndi vmPFC (pre-frontal cortex).
Ndiye vuto lili kuti? Vuto ndiloti majini athu ali ndi zolinga zobisika. Zakudya ndi zinthu zolembetsa zimakhala zopindulitsa chifukwa zimalimbikitsa kupulumuka, koma mphotho zamphamvu kwambiri ndizazikhalidwe zomwe zimakondera ana ambiri, zivute zitani. Ganizirani za machitidwe a Karen Owen, kapena kupulumuka kwa a Bill Clinton, a Mark Sanford ndi a John Edwards, omwe anali a Larry Craig komanso a "Rent boy" a George Reker. Talingalirani zakuti milandu ya HIV mwa amuna ogonana amuna osakwanitsa zaka makumi atatu yalumpha kuposa makumi atatu peresenti kuyambira 2001.
Anthu awa ali ndi chinthu chimodzi chofanana: Makampasi awo amkati samagwira ntchito molingana ndi kudziona kwawo kwanthawi yayitali, chifukwa makina akale aubongo amawunika zochita zawo zowopsa ngati - khulupirirani kapena ayi - mwayi wamtundu. "Zamoyo zadyera" Poyeneradi!
Kodi mapulogalamu athu amtunduwu amakoka bwanji zingwe zathu? Poterepa, potulutsa dopamine yowonjezera ("ndiyenera kupeza" ma neurochemical) m'malo athu opatsa mphotho. Sitikudziwa zomwe zikuchitika chifukwa tazolowera kudalira zomwe tikupanga pamene tikupanga zisankho zambiri, zomveka bwino. Chifukwa chake, tikamenyedwa ndi dopamine yowonjezera, timangokhala mukudziwa Tiyenera kuchitapo kanthu pazomwe tikufuna, ndikukana mwamphamvu malingaliro osafunikira, anzeru kwambiri. Wopusa, eh? Kumbali inayi, pamene dopamine (kukhudzika) ikuchepa, titha kukhala otopetsa, kapena ngati sitikufuna china chake (kapena winawake) - kapena ngati tangolakwitsa usiku watha.
Kaya ndife okwera kapena otsika modabwitsa, tili paulendo wa mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena tikumwa pang'ono. Mwanjira iliyonse, tikulimbana ndi zovuta zamankhwala. Mwamwayi, zikhumbozo zimadutsa - kale kapena pambuyo timachita-komanso kumveka nthawi zambiri kubwerera.
Pamene kuwonongeka kwa makhalidwe kumakhalabe
Ena mwa ife timabwera padziko lapansi ndi ubongo zomwe zimatipangitsa kukhala opupuluma kapena otengeka kwambiri ndi zinthu zachilendo, motero timasokoneza ma kampasi athu. Komabe, zikuwoneka kuti ambiri a ife timatha kukhala ndi kampasi yolephera kugwira ntchito (ndiye kuti, kupindika kwa mayendedwe a limbic) mumikhalidwe imodzi: Chitani zokakamiza kwambiri ndipo pulogalamu ina ya majini imayamba kwakanthawi: ndondomeko yolimbitsa thupi.
Tiyerekeze kuti mwapeza chipinda chochezera chapaintaneti kapena kapamwamba. Pozunguliridwa ndi onse omwe mungakwatirane nawo, ubongo wanu umatulutsa dopamine yowonjezera ("Inde!"), Ndikuwonetsa malingaliro anu ndipo nthawi zambiri kuweruza kwanu kwakanthawi. M'malo mwake, mwayi wamasiku ano woti atsegulidwe ndi buku lakale, okwatirana omwe ali otentha, zokakamiza zogonana komanso zolembetsa zopatsa thanzi zopatsa thanzi ndizofunikira kwambiri kuubongo wambiri zomwe zimangodziwonekera kuletsa chidwi chawo kusunga eni ake kufunafuna zopitilira zambiri. M'malo mokhala ndi chisangalalo chokwanira, anthu oterewa amakhala ndi vuto lokulitsa malaise (pokhapokha mpaka mpaka ubongo wawo uyambiranso).
Izi zowonekera, koma zenizeni, kusintha kwa ubongo kumachitika popanda kuzindikira. Kuti abwezeretse mgwirizano ndi chidziwitso chabwino, amafunika nthawi popanda kukondweretsa kwakukulu, (koma, makamaka, zambiri chikondi kapena mgwirizano wochezeka). Mpaka atabwerera mwakale, ngakhale wokondedwa angawoneke ...osakhutiritsa. Munthu wina atatentha kwambiri kwa milungu iwiri mu ubale watsopano,
Ndimadzimva kuti sindinayankhulepo ndi mkazi yemwe akufuna ubale wokhazikika. Ndi mkazi wabwino. Ndimamukonda, koma ndikamacheza ndi azimayi ena ndipo chemistry imakhalapo, ndizovuta kuzinyalanyaza.
Zowonjezera mphotho yake ikupambana kwambiri lonjezo zokopa kwambiri (kudzera mwachilendo) chifukwa dopamine akugwedezeka mu ubongo wake kwambiri pa lingaliro lomwelo. Amamva kuti akusowa zopanda pake.
Nayi chinthu ichi: Osati zolakalaka zake kapena zotsatira zake ali ndi zambiri zokhudza khalidwe lake. Choyipa chake pano ndimayimbidwe amiyendo. Itha kubweretsa utsi wazosokoneza malingaliro opotoka, mkangano wamkati, ndikudzikayikira. Timachita mosazindikira kuti tili ndi zamatsenga. Mitsempha yathu ikasinthanso, timadabwa, "ndimaganiza chiyani ???" Yankho: sitinali; tinali pa autopilot yodziyimira payokha, kapena kuvutika ndi malingaliro olakwika omwe amatipangitsa kudzipezera zifukwa zonyalanyaza.
Talingalirani kusinthana uku momwe kukakamira kwakugonana kumasinthira malingaliro ngakhale pakati pa ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula. (Nkhani pano siyi zolaula. Ndikusintha kwa malingaliro, zomwe zimatha kuchitika pambuyo pakulimbikitsidwa kwambiri kwamtundu uliwonse.)
Munthu woyamba: Zithunzi zimakutengerani kunja kwa zomwe mumaganiza kuti kugonana kuyenera kukhala. Zimakutengerani kumalo oti "zonse zimapita" komwe kuli koyenera kuzunza ndi kukhumudwitsa ena ndipo zilibe kanthu ngati chikondi chilipo mwa awiriwa. M'malo mwake, chikondi chocheperako, momwe chiwonongeko chimakulirakulira, kumakhala bwino kwambiri! Mukakhala osokoneza bongo mutha kuwona pafupifupi CHIMODZI chilichonse chikuchitika pazenera. Gahena, ndimasangalala ndikuyang'ana pokodza, kusanza, anthu akumenyana komanso kuzunzana, olumala amachititsidwa manyazi ndikuzunzidwa, ngakhale anthu atatayidwa zinyalala-onse osaganizira. Zinali zonyansa koma sindinasamale. Pamene malingaliro anga anali mu "danga" limenelo, chilichonse chimapita.
Pambuyo pa miyezi yambiri ndisanachite zolaula, ndinadina zina mwazinthu zomwe ndimadziwa kuti ndimakonda, ndipo ndimangomva zonena kuti, "KODI NDIKUONA CHIYERO CHIYANI?" Ndinabwerera mwakale ndipo ndinkaziwona ndekha, ndimaso anga olingalira bwino ... ndipo zinali zonyansa kwathunthu. Porn sizinali zogonana zomwe ndimakonda, zinali zowona zinthu zowopsa, zachiwawa komanso zosangalatsa ndikakhala mlengalenga.
Munthu wachiwiri: Nthawi imadutsa, ndikumverera kwa "Ayi, ayi!" khalani, "Izi ndi zomwe ndili, ndikuganiza." Kungakhale bwino kuchenjeza ogwiritsa ntchito zolaula pazomwe zingawathetse panjira. Koma pokha pokha akawona momwe asinthira m'pamenenso amvetsetsa momwe amapangidwira mosazindikira. Kuyamba kupita kwa wina kusanza m'maso mwawo ndikulira ndi ululu pomwe mawonekedwe akugwedezeka kumatha kugunda malingaliro a anthu kuposaulendo wamphamvu wa bowa. Anthu osazindikira amangodziwa kuti moyo suli zolaula akangoyesa zomwe amawona. Tikukhulupirira kuti anthu akagunda pamakoma awo, iwonso abwerera ndikufunsa, "Ndakhala chiyani?"
Ndimayesetsa kuti ndisamangokhalira kuganizira zomwe zandichitikira. Ndipamene tizindikira kutalika komwe tapatukira, pomwe timawona kuti sikumenyera nkhondo komwe timamenya tikasiya zolaula, koma imodzi yamaganizidwe athu ndi chisangalalo. M'dziko lomwe limayembekezera kuti anthu azichita ngati maloboti nthawi zambiri, chikondi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zochepa zomwe anthu adasiya zomwe zingakhale zenizeni zamatsenga. Kwa ena onse, ndinu chabe nkhope yopanda dzina pagulu, koma kwa wokondedwa ndinu dziko. Chisankho chikuwonekeratu.
Inde, kusankha kumakhala kodziwikiratu — pamene kuyankha kwa ubongo wa dopamine kumapatsidwa mwayi wobwerera mwakale.
Kotero, moona, makhalidwe apansi palibe maziko abwino oti muweruzire zosankha zakugonana zilizonse. Malingaliro athu amakhalidwe abwino sagwira ntchito kupatula mphotho zathu zoyang'anira mphotho. Imasankha zomwe "zimapindulitsa" kapena "zopanda phindu," zomwe zimakhudza kwambiri zomwe timawona ngati "zoyenera" kapena "zosayenera", komanso "zaumunthu" kapena "zopanda umunthu." Chifukwa chake kukondweretsedwa kwakukulu kutitulutsa muulter kwakanthawi kwakanthawi, timakhala pachiwopsezo chosankha zomvetsa chisoni. Monga munthu wina adati:
Malo anga azisangalalo amatenga malo. Zimakakamiza gawo lolingalira laubongo kuti ino ikhala nthawi yanga yotsiriza, kuti ndifunenso kugunda kwina kolimbikitsana kwambiri kuti ndipitirizebe ndi zinthu. Zili ngati ndili ndi anthu awiri okhala mkati mwanga.
Malamulo akunja amakhalidwe abwino amanyalanyazidwa mosavuta ndi ubongo wolimbana ndi kusalinganika kwa dopamine. Mosiyana ndi izi, ubongo ukakhala wofanana, sutero amafunika malamulo ojambulaâ € "chifukwa mwiniwakeyo akuganiza bwino. Pano pali ndemanga za amuna asanu omwe adachepetsanso zosangalatsa kwambiri:
- Ndizodabwitsa kuti pali kusiyana kwakukulu. Ndimakhala wamanjenje, wogwirizana, wotsimikiza, chilichonse. Zimakhala ngati umunthu wanga weniweni ungatuluke.
- Ndikuganiza bwino kwambiri, ndikuchita mogwira mtima komanso ndemanga zanga za LASTS. Ndikhoza kutsata, kuthetsa mavuto, ngakhale zinthu zambiri motsatira nthawi yaitali. Ngakhalenso bwana wanga ananena kuti ndikuoneka kuti ndikulamulira kwambiri.
- Ndikumva kuti ndine wachimuna, wolamulira, wodekha, WAMOYO, motero, modabwitsa, 'wokoma mtima'? Sindikudziwa momwe ndingafotokozere izi. Zimamveka zodabwitsa.
- Ndaona kuganiza bwino, kugwirizana kwabwino kwa anthu, kukhala ndi maganizo olimbika, mphamvu zambiri, ndi ubale wochuluka. Ndi zabwino kwambiri kuona zotsatira mofulumira.
- Ndimamva kuti ndiwongoleratu komanso ndikuwongolera, ndikukhala ndi zambiri kuti ndipereke kwa anthu ambiri. Nthawi imene ndimathera ndi mnzanga, ndimakhala wokondwa komanso wosangalala.
Anthu si anthu oipa chifukwa amaphwanya malamulo awo okhudza makhalidwe abwino, omwe amachititsa kuti anthu azivutika kwambiri. Ambiri amangofunikira kubwezeretsani zawo zofanana, choncho ma compasses awo amatsatiranso ndi zoyenera zawo. Kuwongolera kumeneku kungatenge masabata.
Kupewa zoyeserera zowonjezereka kumathandizira (kapena kubwezeretsa) kulinganiza. Ichi ndichifukwa chake miyambo yambiri yadziko lapansi imayang'ana njira zowongolera ubongo monga kusinkhasinkha, qi gong, zakudya, kudzipereka, pemphero, ntchito, kufunafuna, kuwolowa manja ndikuwongolera mosamala chilakolako chogonana. Onjezani pamndandanda chikondi, tsiku ndi tsiku, osati cholinga. Zida zoterezi zingakhale zogwira mtima zogwira ntchito posunga kampasi yathu yeniyeni yomwe ikugwirizana ndi yemwe ife tiri.
pomwe: Kusinthasintha kwachilendo mu dopaminergic midbrain drive drive zosinthika mosiyanasiyana
Anthu modabwitsa samasinthasintha pamakhalidwe awo, nthawi zambiri amasankha mosiyanasiyana pamikhalidwe yofanana. … Apa, tikuwonetsa kuti zochitika zamkati mwa prestimulus muubongo mu dopaminergic midbrain zimakhudza momwe timasankhira zosankha zowopsa komanso zotetezeka. … Zomwe tapeza zikuwonetsa kuti kuzindikira kwamphamvu kumakhudzidwa ndikusinthasintha kwa malingaliro amkati mwaubongo, kupereka maziko azikhalidwe zakusintha kwamachitidwe amunthu ovuta.
Kufufuza kosangalatsa kumapeza kuti kugonana ndi kosiyana ndi zovuta zina
Ochita kafukufuku adayang'ana mitundu ingapo yamavuto ogwiritsa ntchito intaneti ndipo adapeza kuti kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti pazogonana kumalumikizidwa kwambiri ndi mikhalidwe "yamdima" ya Machiavellianism, Psychopathy, Narcissism, Sadism and Spitefulness. Kuchokera ku "Umboni woyambirira wa mayanjano a umunthu wa mdima ndi zochitika zina pa intaneti komanso kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti zovuta. "
Komanso zomwe mungachite chidwi:
Ili si vuto kwa amuna okha. Kukakamizidwa Kugonana Ndi Amayi: Mphamvu za Kuonera Zolaula komanso Makhalidwe Abwino a Histrionic
Kuchita zolaula [ndi zolaula] anali wodziwitsa yekha za ... kukhudzika mtima ndi chinyengo.
Onaninso: Mayanjano pakati pa umunthu wakuda wamtundu ndi mitundu yosadziwika / yovuta yakugwiritsa ntchito intanetindipo Udindo wa amuna ndi akazi pakati pa ubale pakati pa Dark Triad ndi psychopathy, kugonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, komanso kuweruza pamakhalidwe
Nkhanza za kugonana zidakali nkhani yofala m'makoleji. Kukakamiza pakugonana, mtundu wa nkhanza zogonana, umagwiritsidwa ntchito nthawi zambiri pogonana wamba (mwachitsanzo, kugonana). Kafukufuku wapano adafufuza za kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha komanso kugonana ngati zolosera zapadera za kukakamiza kugonana ndikuwunika ngati pali kusiyana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi m'mayanjano awa. … Poyerekeza ndi akazi, amuna adachita bwino kwambiri pakugonana komanso magulu onse a hypersexuality. Titakhazikitsa zoyezera zoyenera bwino, tidapeza izi Kugonana kogonana komanso kugonana kwachiwerewere kunaneneratu kuwonjezeka kwa kukakamiza kugonana komanso kuti jenda silinachepetse mayanjano awa. Zotsatira za kafukufuku zinasonyeza zimenezo nkhanza zogonana komanso kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndi zinthu zomwe zimachititsa kuti anthu azikakamizana kuti azigonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
[Kuphatikiza pa kusiyana kwina, anyamata ndi atsikana omwe amachita zolaula komanso zolaula pa intaneti anali amisala, osavomerezeka, osachita zachiwerewere, komanso anali ndi malingaliro osagwirizana ndi chikumbumtima.]
Onse owonera [zolaula] okha komanso kuwonera limodzi anali ogwirizana ndi kukwera kwamalingaliro pakati pa abwenzi, ndizosiyana pang'ono ndi jenda. …
Mayanjano a nthawi yayitali akuwonetsa kuti kuwonjezera kapena kukulitsa kuwonera zolaula kumakhala, kwa maanja ena, kukhala ndi mikangano mwa iwo okha kapena kumapangitsa kuti nkhanza za m'maganizo zichuluke. Kuphatikiza apo, kuchuluka kwa kuwonera limodzi kudali kokhudzana ndi kuzunzidwa, mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi ndani…..
Izi zidasonkhanitsidwa pakati pa 2007 ndi 2010, mafoni am'manja ndi intaneti opanda zingwe zisanakhale zodziwika bwino pamoyo watsiku ndi tsiku.
Tili ndi ubale wabwino pakati pakuonera zolaula ndikuyang'ana m'njira zosayenera.
Nkhani yowonjezera: Kuwona Zolaula Kumawonjezera Makhalidwe Abwino, Malinga ndi Kafukufuku Watsopano
Pambuyo powerengera zamankhwala amisala komanso kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo komanso mavuto, zotsatira zake zidawulula kuyanjana pakati pa [zovuta zolaula] komanso zachiwerewere [zogonana pakati pawo].
M'maphunziro awiri omwe adakumana ndi zovuta zakugonana zidapangitsa kuti: 1) kuchotsera kwakukulu (kulephera kuchepetsa kukhutitsidwa), 2) chidwi chachikulu chofuna kuchita zachiwerewere, 3) chidwi chachikulu chogula zinthu zabodza ndikunyengerera akaunti ya Facebook ya wina. Kuphatikizidwa pamodzi izi zikuwonetsa kuti kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula kumawonjezera kukhudzika ndipo kumatha kuchepetsa ntchito zina zazikulu (kudziletsa, kuweruza, kuwoneratu zotsatira zake, kudziletsa). Chidule:
Zotsatira izi zikuwunikira njira yochepetsera kutenga nawo gawo amuna pakuchita zachiwerewere; ndiye kuti, kudzera pazowonetsa zochepa pazakugonana ndikukweza kukhutitsidwa kwakuchedwa. Zotsatira zaposachedwa zikusonyeza kuti kupezeka kwakukulu kwa zoyipa zakugonana pa intaneti zitha kulumikizidwa kwambiri ndi mchitidwe wamakhalidwe oyipa a amuna kuposa momwe amalingalira kale ....
Zotsatirazi zili ndi tanthauzo lofunikira, popeza kuchepa kwa chidwi chokhudzana ndi kugonana komanso chizolowezi chochepetsera mtsogolo zitha kuchepetsa kuchepa kwaumbanda pakati pa amuna. Kuwunika koyimira pakati kumapereka lingaliro kuti nthawi zogonana zitha kupangitsa amuna kukhala ndi '' malingaliro ochepa '', zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti azipeza zopindulitsa kwakanthawi kochepa koma osaganizira zomwe zingachitike kwakanthawi kakhalidwe kopanda chilungamo ....
Amuna angapindule ndi kuwunika ngati zochitika zokhudzana ndi kugonana zimakhudzana ndi zosankha zawo ndi khalidwe lawo loipa.
- Kuwona zithunzi za akazi achigololo kumabweretsa chikhalidwe chodziletsa pakati pa amuna
Kuwonetsedwa kwa akazi ovala theka komanso chikhalidwe cha zachuma
Amuna amatenga chiopsezo chowonjezereka atawonetsedwa ndi zithunzi za akazi ovala theka atafananizidwa ndi akazi.
- Sayansi Imapereka Chifukwa China Chokhalira Kusiyana ndi Zolaula
- Dopamine imayambitsa makhalidwe osiyana pakati pa anthu
- Dongosolo la ubongo lomwe limayendetsa zosankha zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu azikhala ndi nkhawa zambiri
- Momwe Zithunzi Zimasokonezera Kampasi Yanu Yamakhalidwe Abwino - Ngakhale Simukuyang'ana
- Zomwe zingatheke ndi kuchepetsa kuthetsa zovuta zowononga (2008)
Ogwiritsa ntchito a Erotica anali osiyana kwambiri ndi amuna, omwe ankakwera pamwamba pa miyeso yambiri yoganizira za kugonana, ndipo anawonetsa njira zosankha zosaganizira za kuchedwa kubwezeretsa ntchito ya ndalama kusiyana ndi otero omwe sanali ogwiritsa ntchito. Zofukufukuzi zikusonyeza kuti kuchotsera njira zomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu ena azikhala osokonezeka.
Timasonyeza kuti kuwonetseredwa ndi zosangalatsa zimapangitsa kuti munthu asapirire mu chisankho pakati pa ndalama pakati pa malipiro a ndalama. Kuwonetsa udindo wa oyang'anira oyendetsera mphotho, timasonyeza kuti anthu omwe ali ndi malipiro okhudzidwa amakhala okhudzidwa ndi zotsatira za kugonana, kuti zotsatirazi zimapereka mphotho zapakhomo, komanso kuti kusamalidwa kumachepetsa zotsatira zake.
- Kulingalira kwamakhalidwe abwino komwe kumalumikizidwa ndi zochulukirapo mu dongosolo la mphotho yaubongo wamunthu (2017)
- (Izi zidasangalatsanso.) Kulakalaka chiwonongeko: Zotsutsana ndi nkhope zokopa pamasankhidwe azakudya za anthu
Kudziwitsidwa ndi maonekedwe osiririka (anyamata osasangalatsa) ‐ nkhope zogonana zimachulukitsa kusankha kwa zakudya zopanda thanzi.
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Maulalo omwe amapezeka pakati pa kusuta ndi kusokonekera "mwamakhalidwe" (ndikusintha kwa magwiridwe antchito aubongo) amapezeka mwa iwo omwe anali ndi vuto lotchova juga komanso kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo.
Kuchuluka kwa psychopathology, komanso kuyambika kwa GD koyambirira, kutalika kwa GD komanso kuuma kwakukulu kwa GD kumalumikizidwanso ndi kupezeka kwamakhalidwe oyipa.
Zotsatirazi zikuwonetsa kusintha kwamachitidwe amisala ya fronto-limbic yokhudzana ndi kugwiritsidwa ntchito kolimbikitsana ndi zoperewera pazolinga zonse zapakati komanso kuphatikiza kwamalingaliro amachitidwe azikhalidwe.
Kukula kwasayansi umboni wokhudzana ndi kupuma kwa msana (maphunziro)
Zofufuza za kugonana pakati pa kugonana ndi mankhwala mu ubongo
Zofufuza Pezani Escalation (ndi Habituation) mu Porn Users (2016)
Ofufuzawo akuti testosterone ndiyokayikitsa kuti ikhale njira yokhayo yomvetsetsa zamakhalidwe (2019) (Sitingagwirizane zambiri.)
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