Paul Wright PhD ndiwofunika kwambiri, wofufuza zolaula kwambiri. Mwachiwonekere, watopa - monganso ena ambiri pantchitoyi - za njira zachinyengo zomwe ena mwa ochita kafukufuku wodziwika bwino wazakugonana omwe akuchita nawo nkhondowo (komanso kutsutsa kwawo mapepala). Amawunikira ziwonetsero zawo ziwiri m'makalata osiyana kwa Mkonzi wa Archives of Sexual Conduct, ndipo amalimbikitsa kuti stratagems onse alephere kupita patsogolo.
"Zoyambitsa sizofanana" (O chonde)
Akatswiri azakugonana nthawi zambiri amayesa kukopa atolankhani (ndi wina aliyense amene angamvetsere) kuti umboni wonse wokhudzana ndi zolaula ndi "wolumikizana" komanso wopanda tanthauzo. M'malo mwake, pali umboni wambiri wosonyeza kuti kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula zimayambitsa Harms, ndipo Wright mwaluso ananena izi m'kalata yake yachiwiri yopita kwa Mkonzi, "Zithunzi Zolaula monga "Kusankha-Kuwonetsa": Zisiyeni, Zisiyeni. ” Yakwana nthawi yoti atolankhani afufuze akatswiri ngati Wright, omwe amafufuza pafupipafupi kafukufukuyu, m'malo modalira akatswiri azakugonana.
Wright akuwonetsa kuti kukakamira kwa ogonana kumatanthauza kuti olemba maphunziro omwe amafufuza zolaula amamva kuti ayenela kukana kuthekera kulikonse kogwiritsa ntchito zolaula zimayambitsa machitidwe, zikhulupiriro kapena malingaliro omwe ofufuza amapeza ndi ogwirizana ndi kagwiritsidwe ntchito kake. Nthawi zambiri zodzitopetsa izi zakusemphana ndi zomwe apeza pamapepala zomwe zimawonekeratu kuti akatswiri azakugonana kubwereza mapepalawo anawafunsa. *
Choyipa chachikulu, titha kuwonjezera pamenepo olemba osakondera pa Wikipedia (monga wotchuka Tgeorgescu) ndi awo ogwirizana ndi sexology, pangani zipinda zokomera anthu kuti azikambirana bwino kwambiri kuti "Kuphatikiza sikungafanane nako. ” M'malo mwake, amagwiritsa ntchito kusiyanasiyana kuti adzilungamitse osapatula kafukufuku wowonetsa zovulaza zolaula patsamba lodziwika bwino la Wikipedia - ngakhale momwe amaloleza kuwonjezera zolaula zolaula kugwirizana kafukufuku!
Chifukwa chake, ali ofufuza omwe amafufuza zolaula amakhala ovuta kusangalatsa zawo zogonana opereka ndemanga poti kulepheretsako kumakhalabe chinsinsi chonse? Pitirizani kuwerenga.
Wright akunena,
Monga wowerenga aliyense amadziwa bwino magawo okambirana za zolaula zomwe zikugwiritsa ntchito magawo azomwe amadziwa, ndichitsimikizo kuti olemba adzachenjeza [kapena akhale wokakamizidwa kuchenjeza] kuti mgwirizano uliwonse womwe adapeza pakati pa zolaula umagwiritsa ntchito (X) ndi chikhulupiriro, malingaliro, kapena machitidwe omwe akuphunzira (Y) atha kukhala chifukwa cha "kusankha-kuwonekera" (mwachitsanzo, anthu omwe ali kale ndi chikhulupiriro, malingaliro, kapena kakhalidwe kofananira ndi zomwe zimawonetsera) osati mayanjano azakugonana (mwachitsanzo, anthu omwe amakopeka ndi zolaula zokhudzana ndi zikhulupiriro, malingaliro, kapena machitidwe).
Ndi nkhani yakale ya "nkhuku kapena dzira". Zomwe zidabwera koyamba: zolaula (X), kapena chikhulupiriro, malingaliro kapena machitidwe omwe akuyesedwa (Y)? Mwachitsanzo:
- Kodi zikhulupiriro zomwe zidalipo kale zidayambitsa [chifukwa] zolaula kwambiri ("kusankha-kuwonekera"), kapena kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kwambiri [chifukwa] zikhulupiriro zokhudzana ndi chiwerewere ("zogonana")?
- Kodi kusintha kwa ubongo wokhudzana ndi chizolowezi kumabweretsa zolaula, kapena kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kosokoneza bongo kunapangitsa ubongo kusintha onetsani omwe amawoneka osokoneza bongo?
- Kodi zachiwerewere zidayambitsa zolaula kwambiri mtsogolo, kapena kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula pafupipafupi onjezerani mwayi wakugonana?
- Kodi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kumabweretsa kusauka kwaubwenzi, kapena kodi kusakhutira ndiubwenzi kumabweretsa zolaula?
Wright amatchula zaka makumi angapo kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti zolaula ndizotheka zimayambitsa zotsatira zoyipa, kuphatikiza maphunziro ochulukirapo otsatirawa patapita nthawi (kotenga nthawi). Komabe olemba akupitilizabe kutsatira zofuna za omwe amawunika pazakugonana:
Mwanjira ina, olembawo atenga lingaliro loti ngakhale masamba amalingaliro ndi zopeka omwe adapereka pofotokoza zamphamvu za X → Y m'gawo lawo lowerengera mabuku, ndizotheka kuti Y → X. Wolemba ndiye kuyitanitsa "kafukufuku wakutali" kuti "asinthe" mayendedwe aubwenzi. Kuwunikanso magawo azokambirana kuyambira zaka ndi zaka zapitazo mpaka lero kukuwulula kuti ndizowona "zowona" kuti magulu azithunzi zolaula - mayendedwe ake ali pachiwopsezo chongowonera ngati anzawo; izi "sizisintha," kutengera Anna.
Wright akuwoneka kuti akuwona izi ngati nkhanza m'mabuku asayansi. M'malo mwake, akunena kuti "ndizosagwirizana ndi sayansi" kunena kuti kuwongolera / zomwe zimakhalabe sizodziwika bwino pankhani yolaula:
Izi ndizachidziwikire, zotsutsana ndi sayansi. Palibe chomwe "chimakhala chowona nthawi zonse" mu sayansi, chifukwa chidziwitso cha sayansi "chimasintha" monga chidziwitso chatsopano chimapangidwa.
Monga Wright akufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane, "chidziwitso chatsopano chopangidwa" chimaphatikizapo maphunziro angapo "otsogola" ataliatali pogwiritsa ntchito zambiri zamagulu kufananiza mwachindunji X → Y ndi Y → X mafotokozedwe azitsogozo a XY ubale. Iye analemba kuti:
Nditasindikiza mapepala angapo ataliatali okhala ndi maumboni ambiri omwe amapeza umboni wazakugonana koma osasankha, ndikudziwa kuti pali maphunziro oterewa.
M'kalata iyi yopita kwa Mkonzi wa Zilembedwa Zotsatira Zogonana amasanthula 25 zogwirizana (zotsalira) kotenga nthawi pmaphunziro a orn kuwonetsa kuwongolera (mwachitsanzo, kuthekera kwa zovuta). Anthu khumi ndi anayi adapeza kuti zolaula zomwe zidagwiritsidwa ntchito kale zidaneneratu chimodzi kapena zingapo za zotsatira zomwe zidaphunziridwa pambuyo pake, koma zolankhulidwazo sizinali choncho (mwachitsanzo, kuchuluka kwa zotsatira kapena zotsatira zake kunatero osati oneneratu zamtsogolo zolaula). Kafukufuku khumi adapeza ubale wobwereza. Ndiye kuti, zizolowezi zam'mbuyomu zidapangitsa kuti anthu ena azitha kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuposa ena ndipo nawonso adakhudzidwa ndikuwonekera kwawo. Kafukufuku wina (wolemba tsamba la zolaula-shill Membala wa RealYBOP.com Stulhoferadatero Zomwe zidanenedweratu zidaneneratu za kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula, koma mawonekedwe ake ophatikizika amawonetsa kutengera kubwereranso kapena kusakhudzidwa konse. Amanenanso kuti zingapo (zotsalira) kotenga nthawi maphunziro amapaneli kuwonetsa kuwongolera (mwachitsanzo, kuthekera kwa zovuta) apeza zolaula → mayanjano azotsatira, atawerengera magawo ake am'mbuyomu.
Wright amafotokozera mwachidule momwe kafukufukuyu amagwirira ntchito (komanso kugwiritsa ntchito molakwika mapanga):
Mwachidule, lingaliro loti kulumikizana kwakukulu pakati pazogwiritsa ntchito zolaula ndi zikhulupiriro, malingaliro, ndi machitidwe pamaphunziro apazigawo zitha kukhala chifukwa chakuwonekera posankha ndikutsutsana ndi umboni womwe udapeza ndipo zitha kuthandizidwa ndi nthanthi yotsimikizira kuti sayansi siyokwera ndipo aliyense kuphunzira ndi kachidutswa komwe kamakhala payokha; kuti asayansi akuyenera kuyambira pomwepo ndi kafukufuku aliyense - sangathe kuwonjezera chidziwitso chawo; ndikuti sayansi siyotsegulidwa kuti isinthidwe-ngakhale kutha kwa nthawi komanso umboni watsopano, njira zoganizira chodabwitsa siziyenera kukonzedwanso.
Kwa achidwi komanso ophunzira akuphatikiza matebulo awiri othandiza omwe adalemba mndandanda wonse wa Kutalika kwa 39 kafukufuku anafufuza.
Zikuwonekeratu kuti Wright akuganiza kuti ndizosavomerezeka kwa ofufuza zaukadaulo ndi owunika / owerenga kuti apitilize kukakamiza mawu awo okondeka kuti zolaula sizili kuchititsa zotsatira kwa ogwiritsa ntchito ena. M'malo mwake, nazi zake malingaliro oyenera kwa olemba, olemba ndi owunikiranso kusiya zamkhutu zachinyengozi. Malingaliro ake ndiwodziwa bwino kwambiri kotero kuti timawalemba monga awa:
olemba: Osanena kuti kusankha-kuwonetseredwa ndikofotokozera komwe kungakhale komveka pazomwe mwapeza. Ngati owunikira ndi owerenga akufuna kuti muchite, apatseni Kalata iyi. Ngati akufunikirabe, lembani mawu oti "malire" omwe akuyenera kufotokozedwa m'njira yomwe ingakupulumutseni ku malingaliro omwe simunadziwewa ndikutumiza Kalatayo.
Openda: Musamapemphe olemba kuti anene kuti kusankha komwe kukufotokozedwaku ndikofotokozera komwe kungachitike pazotsatira zawo pokhapokha mutatha kufotokoza chifukwa chake zomwe apeza ndizopambana komanso zatsopano kotero kuti umboni womwe ulipo wosagwirizana ndiosagwirizana. Potengera momwe mabukuwo alili, udindo wanu uli ndi inu kuti mufotokozere chifukwa chake zolaula zomwe olemba amafotokoza ndizosankha chabe. Ngati olembawo anena okha, onetsetsani kuti achotse ndikuwatsogolera ku Kalata iyi.
akonzi: Pewani owunika osadziwa omwe amafuna kuti olemba apange mphanga wosankha. Adziwitseni olemba Kalatayi ndikuwonetsa kuti ngakhale kuli koyenera kuchitidwa mobwerezabwereza, mlandu wosankha okhawo ndiwosatheka malinga ndi momwe zinthu ziliri pakadali pano.
Kalata: Zithunzi Zolaula monga "Kusankha ‑ Chiwonetsero": Zisiyeni, Zisiyeni
Lekani kudziwongolera mopitirira muyeso pazosintha zakunja zomwe zimaphimba zotsatira zosafunikira (Kalata yoyamba)
Funso ladziko lonse lapansi: "Chifukwa chiyani kafukufuku wina amatsutsana ndi maphunziro ambiri omwe amafalitsidwa ndipo sananene kuti pali kulumikizana kulikonse pakati pa zolaula ndi zoyipa zina (mwachitsanzo malingaliro azakugonana)?" Pali zifukwa zambiri, koma a Paul Wright adalimbikitsanso omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi akatswiri ofufuza zolaula: kuwongolera mopitilira muyeso wakunja.
Ambiri aife timadziwa malumikizidwe osavuta, owongoka monga kuchuluka kwa zolaula zomwe zimagwirizana ndi kusakhutira ndiubwenzi. Koma masiku ano maphunziro ambiri pazokhudza zolaula onjezani zosintha zina zokayikitsa (nthawi zambiri mpaka kuchepetsa or sokoneza zofufuza). Mverani podcast yayifupi, yophunzitsa zomwe zikufotokozera kusiyana pakati pa "kusokoneza" zosintha, "kuyimira pakati" zosintha ndi "kuyerekezera" zosintha… ndipo ndichinyengo bwanji kunamizira kuti zosintha zonse zimasokoneza zotsatira (m'malo mothandiza kufotokoza zovuta).
Kugwiritsa ntchito zosintha kuti muchepetse kulumikizana koonekeratu kumatchedwa "Everest regression." Kugonjetsedwa kwa Everest ndizomwe zimachitika mukama "wongolera "pakusintha kofanizira poyerekeza anthu awiri. Mwachitsanzo, mutatha kuwongolera kutalika, Mount Everest ndikutentha kwapakati. Golide, pambuyo poyang'anira kutalika kwa mafupa, amuna samakhala atali kuposa akazi.
Mwachidule, mumagwiritsa ntchito mtundu womwe umachotsa chinthu chovuta kwambiri, kenako ndikupanga zosokoneza / kusocheretsa za izi. Kafukufuku wa zolaula ndi akatswiri azakugonana nthawi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito njira imeneyi kubisa zomwe zapezedwa malo amenewo zolaula sizabwino.
Chifukwa chake, tiyeni tiwone kalata yachiwiri ya Wright “Kuwongolera mopitilira muyeso pakufufuza zolaula: zilekeni, zizipitilira ...."
M'kalata iyi yopita kwa Mkonzi, adayitanitsa 3 ofufuza odziwika kwambiri zolaula, Kohut, Landriput ndi Stulhofer. Amunawa amagwiritsa ntchito njira yoipa iyi yodziwongolera mopitirira muyeso pachilichonse chomwe angaganize (popanda zongopeka) mpaka atathe kuthana ndi zotsatira zomwe sasamala - ndikupanga maudindo oyenererana ndi zomwe amafalitsa .
In "Kuyesa kaphatikizidwe kamgwirizano wapakati pazogwiritsira ntchito zolaula komanso nkhanza za amuna: Kuwunika kwa nthawi yayitali m'magulu awiri achichepere odziyimira paokha ochokera ku Croatia), ”A Kohut, Landriput ndi a Stulhofer ati njira zawo zopitilira muyeso zidawapangitsa kuphunzira Wapamwamba imodzi yochitidwa ndi Wright ndi anzawo. Kafukufuku wa Wright & mnzake adazindikira kuti kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kumatsimikizira mwamphamvu zachiwawa komanso zachiwerewere ("Kusanthula meta zakugwiritsa ntchito zolaula komanso zochitika zenizeni zachiwerewere m'maphunziro aanthu ambiri").
Kohut, Landriput ndi Stulhofer sanakonde zotsatirazi, ndipo atolankhani pagulu komanso opusitsa amakhulupirira kuti "zowongolera" zambiri ziyenera kuwerengedwa moyenera… mpaka, zamatsenga, kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula zamasiku ano (zomwe zili zachiwawa, zankhanza) Khalidwe) silimalumikizidwanso ndi zachiwerewere. Wright akuwonetsa kuti ofufuza ambiri olemekezeka sagwirizana ndi zomwe K, L & S imanena kuti "zowongolera zambiri zimapangitsa kafukufuku kukhala wabwino." Wina amati ndi “nthano ya m'tawuni yopanga zinthu m'njira zosiyanasiyana.”
Wright, yemwe adalemba ndemanga zingapo m'mabukuwa, akufotokoza kuti:
Kudzera pakupanga zolemba izi ndazindikira kuti (1) zolaula zambiri zomwe zimachitika kuyambira ma 1990s zakhala zikuchitika pogwiritsa ntchito njira zofufuzira komanso (2) chiwonetsero chazovuta kwambiri mu kafukufukuyu ndikufunsa ngati zolaula zimagwiritsidwa ntchito (X) imagwirizananso ndi zikhulupiriro, malingaliro, kapena machitidwe ena (Y) mutasintha masinthidwe a mndandanda wowonjezeka komanso wachilendo wazowoneka wa "zowongolera" (Z malonda).
Nazi zitsanzo zochepa chabe zomwe ofufuza awona kuti ndi zofunika kuziphatikiza monga zowongolera: chidziwitso chakugonana, kutha msinkhu, zaka, ubale, malingaliro azakugonana, jenda, maphunziro, chikhalidwe cha anthu, mtundu, malingaliro amalemba achipembedzo, kulumikizana kwamalingaliro ndi wowasamalira , kuwonetseredwa ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, maukwati, kuyanjana pandale, kugwira ntchito kwa sabata limodzi, maukwati a makolo, kugonana, mtundu, kusagwirizana, zizindikiro zakukhumudwa, zizindikiro za PTSD, kukhutira ndi maubwenzi, kukondana ndi anzawo, nkhani zogonana anzawo, kukonda makolo, kuwonera wailesi yakanema, kuwongolera makolo, kudziwona zogonana kwa anzawo, kufunafuna chidwi, kufunafuna chilakolako chogonana, kukhutitsidwa ndi moyo, banja, kudzidalira, kudzipereka pakugonana, malingaliro okakamiza kugonana, zaka za abwenzi, mgwirizano pagulu , kugwiritsa ntchito intaneti, kuwonera makanema anyimbo, kuyanjana kwachipembedzo, kutalika kwa maubale, osamukira, okhala mumzinda wawukulu , ntchito za makolo, kusuta, mbiri yakuba, kusowa tulo, mavuto kusukulu, zaka zoyambira zogonana, kuchita zibwenzi, kunama, kunyenga mayeso, kuyerekezera chikhalidwe, malo okhala, kuchuluka kwa maliseche, kupezeka pamisonkhano yachipembedzo, kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana , kukhutira ndikupanga zisankho, kuchuluka kwa ana, osudzulidwa, ntchito, kuchuluka kwa abwenzi achipembedzo, kuchuluka kwa kugonana sabata yatha, ndikulembetsa pasukulu yasekondale.
Apanso – izi ndi zitsanzo zochepa chabe.
Kuphatikizidwa kwa zowongolera zowongolera kumatero osati tithandizire kumvetsetsa molondola za mtundu wa X → Y kuyanjana komwe kukufufuzidwa. M'malo mwake, zikuwoneka kuti zimapanga zabodza. Mwachidule, palibe chilichonse chokhazikika kapena chokhwima pakuphatikiza zowongolera zina. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zachinyengo. Wright akupitiriza kuti:
Lingaliro (lowoneka) lomwe likugwirizana ndi njira yomwe ilipo ndikuti zolaula sizingakhale magwero azomwe zimakhudza chikhalidwe cha anthu; M'malo mwake, kusiyanasiyana kwachitatu kumatha kupangitsa kuti onse awonere zolaula ndikuwonetsa / kukhulupirira, malingaliro, kapena machitidwe omwe akufunsidwa. Olemba ochepa, komabe, amafotokoza momveka bwino momwe kusinthasintha kulikonse komwe angasankhe ngati chiwongolero kumatha kuyambitsa zolaula komanso zotsatira zake zikuwerengedwa. Nthawi zina, mawu amafotokozedwa (nthawi zina amatchulidwa, nthawi zina popanda) kuti kafukufuku wam'mbuyomu wazindikira zosintha ngati zomwe zingakhale zosokoneza ndipo ndichifukwa chake zimaphatikizidwa. Nthawi zina, palibe kufotokozera komwe kumaperekedwa kupatula kungolemba mndandanda wazowongolera zingapo. Ndizovuta kwambiri kupeza kafukufuku yemwe amadziwika ndi malingaliro ena monga olungamitsa kusankha kwamalamulo (zambiri pamfundoyi pambuyo pake). Ndizosowa kwenikweni kupeza kafukufuku yemwe amalungamitsa chifukwa chomwe zosinthidwazo zidasinthidwa monga zowongolera m'malo olosera, oyimira pakati, kapena oyang'anira (sindikukhulupirira kuti ndidaziwonapo izi).
Olemba maphunziro a Wright amatchulapo kuti "mfundo yoyeretsera" (yoyang'anira zosintha zina zowonjezera) itha kuyambitsa kusiya malingaliro amvekedwe. Wright akuti:
Pamene zolaula zimakhudza malo ofufuzira akuwonedwa kwathunthu, ndikutsutsana kwanga kuti Kuphatikizidwa kwa zowongolera ndizamisala, zosagwirizana, zosakhulupirira Mulungu, komanso zochulukirapo. Zomwe ndikuganiza ndikuti ochita kafukufuku amaphatikizanso zowongolera chifukwa omwe adafufuza kale, amakhulupirira kuti akonzi kapena owunikiranso akuyembekeza (Bernerth & Aguinis, 2016), kapena chifukwa chakuti agwidwa ndi "nthano zamatawuni" zomwe "maubwenzi ndi zosintha zowongolera pafupi kwambiri ndi chowonadi kuposa zinthu zosawongoleredwa. ”
Inde, ena a ife timakhulupirira kuti Kohut, Landriput ndi Stulhofer akufunadi kukayikira za kulumikizana komwe kulipo pakati pa zolaula ndi zovuta zake (Kohut & Stulhofer adalumikizana nawo Chithunzi cha Nicole ndi David Ley monga akatswiri pa tsamba lazithunzi zolaula KutipanKali). Nthawi zonse amafalitsa maphunziro akunja omwe, mochititsa chidwi, samapeza vuto lililonse ndi zolaula. Kenako, makampani opanga zolaula komanso omwe amagwirizana nawo amalengeza mokweza zoterezi mothandizidwa ndi atolankhani omwe atengeka ndi Wikipedia, osanyalanyaza kunyalanyazidwa kwa umboniwo ndi ofufuza ena otsogola.
Wright mokhutiritsa, koma mwaulemu, amatenga Kohut, Landriput ndi Stulhofer kuti awapatse mwayi pamasewera awo onyoza. Amalimbikitsa kuti ofufuza zolaula amachitiranso zinthu zina monga olosera (mwachitsanzo, zinthu zomwe zimasiyanitsa kuchuluka ndi zolaula zomwe zimadya). Kapena monga oyimira pakati (mwachitsanzo, njira zofotokozera zotsatira za zolaula). Kapena monga oyang'anira (zinthu za anthu ndi zochitika zomwe zimalepheretsa kapena kuyambitsa zovuta zakanema). Koma amawaitanira Imani kuchitira mabungwewa mwachisawawa ngati "kusokoneza" kwina, komanso koipitsa, zotsatira za zolaula pazikhulupiriro, malingaliro, ndi machitidwe.
Chosangalatsa ndichakuti Wright amapereka zitsanzo (ndi zolembedwa) pazinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati zosayenera kuwongolera chifukwa pali umboni woti ali gawo la zolaula zotsatira ndondomeko. Musati muphonye ndemanga zake zosayenera kuwongolera zipembedzo, "zomwe zilipo kale" pamalingaliro azakugonana, komanso kufunafuna chidwi.
Ponena za kufunafuna chidwi, mwachitsanzo, a Wright akuwonetsa kuti kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula kumatha kulosera kufunafuna chidwi chamtsogolo, osati chosiyana:
Kufunafuna chidwi kwamalingaliridwanso ngati mkhalidwe wosasinthika womwe ungangododometsa zolaula-malumikizidwe azotsatira. Nkhani yomwe yatengedwa ndikuti kufunafuna chidwi kumatha kukhudza kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula komanso (ikani zotsatira zakugonana pano) motero kukhala osokonezeka, koma sizingakhudzidwe ndi zolaula. Zolemba zamphamvu zimawonetsa mwina, komabe. M'malo okhudzana ndi zachiwerewere, Stoolmiller, Gerrard, Sargent, Worth, ndi Gibbons (2010) amapezeka m'mafunde awo anayi, azaka zambiri zakuphunzira kwa achinyamata omwe Kuwonera makanema oyerekeza a R kunaneneratu zakusaka kwamtsogolo, pomwe kufunafuna koyambirira sikunaneneratu kuwonera kanema kotsatira R. Stoolmiller neri Al. onetsetsani kuti zotsatira zawo "zimapereka umboni wowonekera wazowonetsa zachilengedwe pazomwe zikufunafuna chidwi.
Chifukwa chake, kuwonera zokhudzana ndi kugonana kunadzetsa chidwi chachikulu (osati njira ina). Wright akupitilizabe, ndikuwonetsa njira yoyambitsa matendawa: Kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula >>> kufunafuna >>> mchitidwe wogonana:
Zotsatira zakusanthula izi zokhudzana ndi kugonana zidapeza kuti kuwonetsa zakugonana kunaneneratu za kuchuluka kwa chidwi, zomwe zidaneneratu zakugonana koopsa (O'Hara, Gibbons, Gerrard, Li, & Sargent, 2012).
Komabe wofufuza zolaula amatha kusanja izi kuti anene kuti kufunafuna kukhumudwitsa kumayambitsa mchitidwe wogonana, kuwonetsa zolaula pambuyo pake.
Pomaliza, mu malangizo gawo, Wright amatenga mbali pazokonda kwambiri za ena ofufuza za zolaula:
Ngati tili oona mtima kwa ife eni, tiyenera kuvomereza kuti maphunziro athu amachokera kuzinthu zina zomwe sizingatsimikiziridwe kapena kunamizira akatswiri 100%. Ndinabadwa mu 1979. Panali akatswiri azachikhalidwe omwe amakhulupirira kuti zolaula sizingakhudze omwe adazigwiritsa ntchito ndisanabadwe ndipo ndikukutsimikizirani kuti padzakhala asayansi ndikakhala kuti ndapita (ndikukhulupirira, mwina zaka zina makumi anayi kapena zinayi) amene akhulupirire chimodzimodzi.
Ngakhale kuli kotheka kuti zolaula ndiye njira yolumikizirana yomwe mauthenga ndi tanthauzo lake sizimakhudza chilichonse, ndikuti kulumikizana kulikonse pakati pa zolaula kumagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi zikhulupiriro, malingaliro, ndi machitidwe nthawi zonse kumakhala kopanda tanthauzo komanso chifukwa chazinthu zina zodziyimira pawokha zosasintha, Ndikukhulupirira kuti pali malingaliro okwanira komanso umboni wokwanira woganiza kuti sizomwe zili choncho. Chifukwa chake, [ndikufunsa] anzanga "kuti atembenuke ndikuthira chitseko" pa "kodi zolaula zimaneneratu (zotulukapo) pambuyo poyang'anira sinki ya kukhitchini?" kuyandikira. M'malo mwake, ndikufunsani kuti tiwunikire zinthu zitatu zomwe zimasiyanitsa kuchuluka ndi zolaula zomwe zimadyedwa, njira zomwe zimabweretsa zotsatira zina, komanso anthu ndi zochitika zomwe zotsatirazi sizingachitike.
Kalata: "Kuzilamulira mopitirira muyeso mu Kafukufuku Wolaula: Zisiyeni, Zisiyeni"
Pomaliza, mankhwala ena achizungu owonjezera nthawi yayitali awonjezedwa padziwe lofufuzira zolaula!
Zikomo kwa Paul Wright chifukwa cha kulimba mtima kwake poyitanitsa zina mwanjira zopangira zolaula. Tikukhulupirira kuti ofufuza ena adzatengera zomwe amamuwuza ndikumukankhira motsutsana ndi omwe amapezerera anzawo pazakugonana omwe amalamulira pazofufuza zolaula ndi malingaliro awo okana kapena opanda chiyembekezo omwe sanakonde.
Kumbukirani kuti kwakhala kukukhala kale ubale wabwino pakati pa akatswiri azakugonana ndi Big Porn. Zosokoneza.
* Nazi izi wofufuza zolaula kumamatira mwamphamvu ku lingaliro lake lokonda kuti zolaula sizingayambitse mavuto, ndikuumiriza kuti palibe amene angayerekeze kunena zina! Kodi mukuganiza kuti munthuyu angakhale ndi cholinga chotani pofufuza zolaula? Kodi akuganiza kuti ofufuza zauchidakwa ayenera kuganizira za ubale womwe ulipo pakati pa kumwa ndi zosangalatsa, osati zovuta zakumwa?
Kafukufuku wamtsogolo, tikuwona kuti ofufuza ayenera kukhala osamala kuti asasokoneze kulumikizana ndi zovuta pakamakambirana za ubale womwe ulipo pakati pa mbali za HSD [chitukuko chogonana chokwanira… monga momwe amafotokozera] ndi kugwiritsa ntchito zolaula. Timalimbikitsa ofufuza kuti aganizire za ubale pakati pa kugwiritsira ntchito zolaula ndi chisangalalo chogonana - iyi ndi gawo lofunikira la HSD.
Kapena onani kutsika uku tweeted ndi zolaula zolaula shill sexologist:
Njira zofufuzira 101: Zigawo zosiyana sizitha kuwonetsa chifukwa.
Um… Njira zofufuzira 201: Kutalika kwakutali mungathe onetsani mwamphamvu chifukwa.
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